On the 1st of March we wrote a glowing appreciation of what was then Bishop Mario Grech’s position regarding the choice of costumes by some individuals during the Nadur Carnival (Politics from the Confessional). Bishop Grech was not happy with people dressing up as Jesus and his apostles but at the time seemed content to point out that in an open society individuals should reflect upon their use of freedom of expression and make sure that they do not unduly harm others. No police action was requested at that point. It was just a representative of a local church airing his point of view and disapproval.
Here at J’accuse we had waxed lyrical at the arrival of a new Daniel who even couched his terms in the context of the “evils of relativism” that are encroaching us. We thought we could see eye to eye. It seems we were wrong. As Fausto rightly points out (Mutaween in action), within a few days from the original declaration the Bishops (plural because our islands are graced with two Graces) Paul and Mario urged action from the authorities (because, in their words, doing nothing did not mean remaining neutral but it meant condoning such despicable behaviour).
Our police are developing a wonderful record of defending social values that are seen only in their eyes, those of the Bishops and a few fervent faithfuls. Fausto is not that cruel when he tags them with the “mutaween” label – those zealous religious police we are used to seeing in action in such countries as Saudi Arabia (Wikipedia describes “mutaween” as an “umbrella term outside the Arab-speaking world to indicate religious-policing organizations in Islamic countries with at least some government recognition or deference, who enforce varied interpretations of Sharia Law“).
Unfortunately for our police gone are the days when the Bishops had police forces of their own fighting for territory with those of the Grand Master as thieves and brigands opted between jurisdictions of Immunità Ecclesiastica and favour of the Chevaliers. Instead they are there to apply the law of the land that happens to be a lay law that in no manner whatsoever prohibits a man from dressing up as Jesus and the Apostles or J’accuse from putting Buddy Jesus up in its masthead.
Fausto has already said all that need be said about the legal problems facing the police in applying this particular section of the criminal code. The men in blue will hopefully end up with egg on their face again which will hopefully finally teach them to stick to applying Ceasar’s law and leave topless bathers and carnival enthusiasts to the scrutiny of the confessional.
Meanwhile we are disappointed. Disappointed that our preliminary assessment of Bishop Grech’s statements were not proved right in the long run. We thought we had a valid interlocutor in the discussion on modern social values. Instead we have police arresting men for dressing up as Jesus and the Apostles. They should get really busy come Holy Thursday as many grown up men dress up as apostles and head to church to get their feet washed.
Script from The Penultimate Supper – Monthy Python
(Warning: Comedy and satire ahead)Renaissance Choir: [Gregorian Chant]
Servant: A Michelangelo to see you, your Holiness.
Pope: Who?
Servant: Michelangelo, the famous renaissance artist whose best known works include the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and the celebrated statue of David.
Pope: Ah. Very well…
Servant: In 1514 he returned to Florence and de…
Pope: All right, that’s enough, that’s enough, they’ve got it now!
Servant: Oh.
Michelangelo: Good evening, your Holiness.
Pope: Evening, Michelangelo. I want to have a word with you about this painting of yours, “The Last Supper.”
Michelangelo: Oh, yeah?
Pope: I’m not happy about it.
Michelangelo: Oh, dear. It took me hours.
Pope: Not happy at all.
Michelangelo: Is it the jello you don’t like?
Pope: No.
Michelangelo: Ah, no, I know, they do have a bit of colour, don’t they? Oh, I know, you don’t like the kangaroo?
Pope: What kangaroo?
Michelangelo: No problem, I’ll paint him out.
Pope: I never saw a kangaroo!
Michelangelo: Uuh…he’s right in the back. I’ll paint him out! No sweat, I’ll make him into a disciple.
Pope: Aah.
Michelangelo: All right?
Pope: That’s the problem.
Michelangelo: What is?
Pope: The disciples.
Michelangelo: Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish.
Pope: No, it’s just that there are twenty-eight of them.
Michelangelo: Oh, well, another one will never matter, I’ll make the kangaroo into another one.
Pope: No, that’s not the point.
Michelangelo: All right. Well, I’ll lose the kangaroo. Be honest, I wasn’t perfectly happy with it.
Pope: That’s not the point. There are twenty-eight disciples!
Michelangelo: Too many?
Pope: Well, of course it’s too many!
Michelangelo: Yeah, I know that, but I wanted to give the impression of a real last supper. You know, not just any old last supper. Not like a last meal or a final snack. But you know, I wanted to give the impression of a real mother of a blow-out, you know?
Pope: There were only twelve disciples at the last supper.
Michelangelo: Well, maybe some of the others ones came along afterw…
Pope: There were only twelve altogether.
Michelangelo: Well, maybe some of their friends came by, you know?
Pope: Look! There were just twelve disciples and our Lord at the last supper. The Bible clearly says so.
Michelangelo: No friends?
Pope: No friends.
Michelangelo: Waiters?
Pope: No.
Michelangelo: Cabaret?
Pope: No!
Michelangelo: You see, I like them, they help to flesh out the scene, I could lose a few, you know I could…
Pope: Look! There were only twelve disciples at…
Michelangelo: I’ve got it! I’ve got it! We’ll call it “The Last But One Supper”!
Pope: What?
Michelangelo: Well there must have been one, if there was a last supper there must have been a one before that, so this, is the “Penultimate Supper”! The Bible doesn’t say how many people were there now, does it?
Pope: No, but…
Michelangelo: Well there you are, then!
Pope: Look! The last supper is a significant event in the life of our Lord, the penultimate supper was not! Even if they had a conjurer and a mariachi band. Now, a last supper I commissioned from you, and a last supper I want! With twelve disciples and one Christ!
Michelangelo: One?!
Pope: Yes one! Now will you please tell me what in God’s name possessed you to paint this with three Christs in it?
Michelangelo: It works, mate!
Pope: Works?
Michelangelo: Yeah! It looks great! The fat one balances the two skinny ones.
Pope: There was only one Redeemer!
Michelangelo: Ah, I know that, we all know that, what about a bit of artistic license?
Pope: Well one Messiah is what I want!
Michelangelo: I’ll tell you what you want, mate! You want a bloody photographer! That’s you want. Not a bloody creative artist to crease you up…
Pope: I’ll tell you what I want! I want a last supper with one Christ, twelve disciples, no kangaroos, no trampoline acts, by Thursday lunch, or you don’t get paid!
Michelangelo: Bloody fascist!
Pope: Look! I’m the bloody pope, I am! May not know much about art, but I know what I like!
