Some weird news in the paper today. First there is the “black, chubby man” who performed a streak at the hallowed grounds of the law courts. Complimenti to the Times reporter Waylon Johnston (Waylon???) for the step by step thrilling description:
He ran up the steps at around 12.30 p.m. dressed in a black, Hard Rock Café t-shirt, a green hat and light green trousers. As soon as he got through the door, as he approached the metal detector, he undressed. The guards alerted a police officer but he was gone by the time the policeman reached the door.
Yet again the strong arm of the law is defied by another man of colour, even when the handicap normally reserved for PC Clod seemed to have been bridged by the chubbiness of the non-caucasoid in question. All the policeman could see was a clear view of the streaker who apparently bared his buttocks for all to see.
The sublime ending must be savoured in all its Benny Hillesque entirety:
The policeman tried to look for him by which time he had disappeared up the road, lost in a mass of cruise liner tourists. People outside were stunned, looking at each other speechless and amused as the unusual incident unfolded. It was all over in five minutes.
They think it’s all over. He is now.
***
Then there was the “Man who charged into a government department before collapsing”. This time there was no streaking involved. Rather it seems that a Marsaxlokk man facing eviction “charged into the office of the Director of Land in Valletta waving a broken piece of glass before suddenly collapsing”.
Sources said that “he broke down the door to director Albert Mamo’s office but his legs gave way and he was quietly escorted outside by the police, where he sat down on a step and waited for an ambulance.”
I guess it takes legs giving away for our valiant Strait Street Runners to catch up with criminals. Then there’s the bit about privacy. Here are the “sources” providing motive to the lucky policeman who must have solved the case on the spot:
“Mr Gatt used to rent a building in Marsaxlokk which was being used as a sailing club. Despite the eviction notice, he stubbornly refused to leave and, to add insult to injury, even rented it to someone else.”
That’s a private dossier given out to the first reporter on the spot. Data Protection Act? Not when you storm the Lands Department waving a broken piece of glass in your hand. Like the prisoners in Guantanamo you will have long lost any claim to personal privacy by then!
