My iPhone weather app predicted a bit of snow for Saturday. Due to my inability to break the laws of the space-time continuum, I am unable to tell you whether it did snow on Saturday or not because although by the time you read this article, Saturday will already have passed, it is still in the future for me at the time of writing. All I can say for now is that when I went to the shopping centre to allow myself to be conned by the con artist that is the framer of paintings, the weather still did not feel sufficiently crisp enough as to warrant any enthusiastic hope for the first falling of the flocons de neige.
The cosy, cuddly Yuletide feeling is already rather tangible for both pagans and believers alike and the snow would be the cherry on the cake (probably icing would be a more fitting vehicle for this metaphor) and a wonderful accompaniment to all the decorations that have sprung up around the Grand Duchy. The problem is though that the snow does not appear at our beck and call and it is highly likely that it will make its sudden grand appearance not over a weekend, when it can be most thoroughly enjoyed, but on a Monday morning – probably next Monday when most EU fonctionnaires will be striking away in order to get their additional 3.7 per cent.
EU employees will strike because of plans to derail the raise they were promised. They are striking because they believe that the worth of their salary is no longer what it was since life – and the cost of living it -– has increased and the fonctionnaires believe that they deserve a commensurate compensation. Be that as it may, such questions of worth tend to cause much discord at the discussion table, which is probably why the fonctionnaires have reached the point where they have to grasp the bull by its horns.
Artistic value
So, as I was saying, I took some paintings of mine to the framer. I had been procrastinating about this moment for as long as I can remember but finally my view of Old Theatre Street from Merchants Street will have a home on its own. As will my painting of an anonymous village scene in Malta and its twin of the Three Cities waterfront. Five years after moving to, the Duchy I have felt the need to give these paintings a proper home. I had to make way for these paintings by removing a rather narcissistic close up photo of mine that had been given the Warhol treatment six times over.
Admittedly, the view of six “Jacques” in various hues of blue, pink, green, orange and yellow might not have helped much in making my guests’ meals a pleasant affair, so the shifting of the Jacques-by-six poster to the study might promise the breaking of new barriers Chez J’accuse. There’s one more piece in the jigsaw puzzle of artistry that is missing and that is a painting by my friend Kenneth Zammit Tabona that will be flying to the Duchy accompanied by the parents who are coming over in the hope of spending a White Christmas of sorts.
Frames on the wall. Check. Pluri-decorated Christmas tree. Check. Infant Babe in cradle with straw. Check. It’s all there and ready to go. This weekend is our last before the visitors arrive and we will embark on one last visit to the Christmas markets around here. Bernkastel promises to be a nice surprise as are the usual visits to Trier, Metz and Luxembourg markets – the markets of the so-called Grande Region. On Sunday, probably while you are reading this, I will be revising my basic ski moves in an indoor ski slope in the hope that come next February I will be able to hit the real slopes.
Obvious weight in gold
A work-intensive week has once again meant little time for the hobby of blogging and newsgazing, though we did get a discussion or two going on J’accuse, notwithstanding the dearth of intensely bloggable subjects. My pet news for this week has to be the “inauguration” of the new look Saint George’s Square. Just before I sat down to type, a new bit of “square-related” news had been posted on a local newspaper. Apparently, Minister Pullicino had been showing schoolchildren around the new governmental toy. As George showcased his patronym’s square to the children, he pointed out how energy efficient the whole shebang was.
When you hear energy efficient being equated with a piece of public architecture you expect savings of the energy kind that would register even a respectable blip on the radar of contributions to saving the planet. You know, what with the Hopenhagen (sic) summit going on, you would be forgiven for thinking that the Saint George’s Square Megaproject has some hidden secret up its sleeve. A huge water reservoir complete with reverse osmosis plant to serve the needs of the capital? Wind turbines connected directly to Parliament so as to efficiently reduce the wastage of the hot air generated while in session?
Dream on Malta. Minister Pullicino pointed out that the street lighting used for the decoration of the new look Saint George’s Square comes from energy-saving bulbs. The other great saver of the planet – for which I am sure the islanders of Tuvalu might probably make George Pullicino an honorary resident – is that the water of the fountain will be recycled and not thrown away. Basinga – as my current favourite TV character would say. Which would mean that what he said previously was a joke. But I’m afraid George did sell that envirobubble to the kids and there’s even a photo to prove it.
Poor George. He must have had to go along with this charade that is Saint George’s Square and all the shebang being made about it. What really stumps me about it all is how far this kind of work sells with the people. Or at least if not with the people, with the press who are busily engaged with stretching a non-starter of a story throughout a whole week. It’s not as if not much effort was put into selling it by the government. In terms of distraction potential it should have been as useful as mittens in the desert, but instead it turned out to be a booming success.
Peppered Stake
The talk in France has been that Sarkozy has brought up a whole debate about national identity in order to distract people from the real problems on the street and in the economy. Swiss votes on the mosques gave Sarkozy an idea about how best to create his own panem et circenses (bread and circuses) for the people. Our government must have known in advance that the presence of a circus on the island is more likely to provoke protestations and manifestations than create a veritable distraction. What better then, than the launching of a Grand Project just before we slip into that mind-numbing period of jolly “We Love Each Other-ness” known as Christmastime?
So Gonzi’s men took out a big stake on the refurbished Saint George’s Square. Excuse the miserable pun but this stake was full of pepper – pepper of the proverbial kind that is thrown in people’s eyes so they cannot appreciate the true value of the choices or offers before them. Bzar fl-ghajnejn (pepper in one’s eyes) is the Maltese expression and this was definitely one peppery item all the way. For what, as Monty Python was wont to ask, has this government done for us recently? Well… you now had the answer – a spanking new square Ad Maiorem Popoli Comoditatem (for the greater comfort of the people).
But really. Was it? Well there is no doubt that Saint George’s Square has a new look. So what happened? For starters somebody took the gutsy (?) decision of ridding the square of squatters on four wheels and four feet. By that I mean that the simple move of opting to no longer use it as a car park or horse and carriage terminus was finally made. What happened next should barely make the headlines of the Public Works Division monthly newsletter. Somebody went on a shopping spree and bought a decent set of tiling, lighting and benches and threw in a lit-up fountain to boot. That is essentially what this is about.
The beauty of a square is generally because it is an empty, open space surrounded by beautiful buildings and/or monuments. It is not the space but the buildings around it that make Saint Mark’s Square in Venice unique. Saint Peter’s Square is only Saint Peter’s Square because it is surrounded by a mind-blowing piece of architecture and the emptiness in between is a vast expanse that allows one to admire the beauty of it all. The work, aesthetic and all, is attributable to whoever designed and built the contiguous buildings. Celebrating the final realisation that what is needed in the square is an open space was a bit like celebrating a frame and not the painting, or celebrating a platform and not the statue that is placed on top.
But how they loved it
Had it just stopped at the usual business of ribbon cutting, press conference and general uttering of exponential quantities of bovine excrement it would not have been so bad. This is after all the country that places plaques on anything from benches to tunnels to planters. We build “monuments” on roundabouts and have turned the “Ministerial Inauguration” into a form of martial discipline worthy of any Japanese dojo. “Inaugurating” is taken for granted as being a brill excuse for the politician in question to get some extra coverage.
This was not going to be a simple PR exercise, though. There probably was an empty vacuum calling for a “feel good” factor to get the spirits high just before Christmas, therefore the government invested e177,000 in a bonanza of inaugural celebration. There were many ministers a-smiling, one Prime Minister a-beaming, one archbishop a-gasping and hundreds of minions a-clapping. To justify this festival of collective amazement, they brought the circus to town. They had a show kicking it all off presented by a Claire Agius dressed up as a dead bear in pants with sequined breasts. They had acrobats a-swinging, light show a-glaring, while they sat there a-smiling. Forget “let them eat cake”; judging by the interviews and people’s reactions as reported in the papers, it sure does not take much to please the people.
It was mind-boggling. Really. The whole business. People were being interviewed the next day and asked whether they liked the new square. The replies proved that we have been brainwashed to kingdom come. One man speculated that this would be a great place “to bring the kids”. For heaven’s sake! Others drooled their awe-laden admiration over this work of art – proving once and for all that our politicians have gotten us hooked on mediocrity. I said it on my blog and I will say it again – it’s just a square that has been cleared of cars. With new tiling. And some lights. And benches. And a few holes that spout water. Big effing deal.
Imma worth it
The shape of things to come and values that will be, will still be determined by our politicians in the future. This week sees the deadline for submitting suggestions to the parliamentary select committee on the electoral system. J’accuse will hopefully be submitting a last minute combined effort from its readers. Judging by previous performances, we will not expect much more than an attempt to confirm the PLPN grip on local politics. The kind of grip that results in bonanza festivals for clearing a square from cars.
Elsewhere in Malta, I read that local spoof movie Maltageddon was a big hit, notwithstanding a teething glitch at the cinema. It’s a plucky bit of altertainment in our microcosm and efforts like this should be encouraged, particularly by going to watch the piece. I’ve been told that it’s a good laugh and my guess is that if anything it will result in this season’s catchphrase long before the Christmas pantos takeover. The phrase was heard during the infamous cinema mishap (the film première crashed on screen and viewers were treated to a Microsoft Windows Restart performance).
I believe it is Joe Demicoli who yelled the phrase in the cinema – a sort of ritornello. It kicks off with someone yelling “We are Maltese…” To which the standard reply should be “We take no sh*t!”.
Yeah right. Go tell it to the politicians trooping into Parliament through Saint George’s Square.
www.jacquesrenezammit.com/jaccuse will be welcoming suggestions for the J’accuse document to be submitted to the Parliamentary Committee. Be there or be (St George’s) Square.
This article and accompanying Bertoon (click to enlarge in Flickr) appeared in today’s edition of The Malta Independent on Sunday.
