Have I Got News for You

I have recently been getting a creeping feeling that I am the only person in the world that listens to certain Maltese radio stations. It’s not just that, because I also think that they only operate when I tune in and stop speaking/playing music the moment I switch station. How do I know it? Easy. Because the DJ speaks to ME. Just me. It’s either that or his or her grammar is limited to the second person singular.

How else to explain phrases like “Se indoqqlok id-diska l-ġdida ta’ Beyonce”? or “Għandna premju għalik li qed tisma bħalissa”? It’s irritating. I know, given the benefit of internet streaming radios why the hell am I torturing myself with Bay Radio’s Breakfast with Drew when I could be listening to RTL, RTBF Classic 21, or London’s Heart or even Waikiki Radio? It’s just that every now and then I do feel like listening to a morning drive show from home and possibly catch up with the news on the hour. So I have to submit to being spoken to directly by a DJ and I begin to worry whether he can see me getting dressed in my bedroom. Rather invasive isn’t it this language business?

And that’s not all. I have an aversion to the conversion of the pronunciation of placenames to English. How does Birkirkara get to be pronounced Bear-Kuhr-Kah-Rah? And Imrieħel suddenly becomes Emm-ray-hell. Is it cool? Does it make the place sound more cosmopolitan? What’s the deal? Why?

So please Mr DJ. I don’t know you. I am not on first name terms with you and do return to using the plural. If not for the sake of imagining an audience that numbers more than one then just think of me as the King – the one who deserves a royal plural. Whatever you do, the English “accent” (especially some conjured up cross-mix of brummie/eastender) was never, ever intended to be applied to the sweet arabic sounds of Maltese.

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