No, I am not emotional. My head is cold.

The exchange in court between Minister Cardona’s lawyer and Matthew Caruana Galizia prompted me to start a meme using Matthew’s reply. #iamnotemotional. Later I received a private message from a member of Daphne’s family pointing out that the full quote that day included the phrase “My head is cold”. Eleonora saw this exchange and was inspired to write this new contribution to J’accuse. 

On 20 July 1992 Lucia goes to the Law Faculty of Palermo to sit for an exam. Her father, Italian judge Paolo Borsellino, has been killed the day before by a car bomb in Palermo, near his mother’s house. When she sits down in front of her professors, Lucia is asked whether she’d like to come again in another session, given the circumstances in which she currently finds herself.

Notwithstanding her deep sorrow, Lucia answers that she’ll go ahead with the exam on that very day. The day after her father has been murdered and somehow failed by the same institutions that he gave his life to represent.

On 17 October 2017, Matthew publishes a post on facebook explaining why “a culture of impunity has been allowed to flourish by the government in Malta” and listing the names of those who did not take action and therefore were responsible for this. The name of the Maltese PM is among these. Matthew’s mother, Maltese blogger and investigative journalist Daphne Caruana Galizia, has been murdered the day before by a car bomb in Bidnija, near her own house.

When asked to comment on Matthew’s facebook post by CNN journalist Christiane Amanpour, the Maltese PM stated that in those words he saw a son who had just found his mother in pieces and therefore that he “would be insensitive to take exception to anything he says”. He also added that he would have written or said worse things if he had found himself in Matthew’s position.”

On 23 October 2017, Matthew, Andrew and Paul go to court along with their father Peter to replace respectively their departed mother and wife in the libel cases against her instituted by Minister Chris Cardona and his personal adviser Joseph Gerada. As reported by Maltese media, when the court informed both parties that it would adjourn the cases to December so as to allow time for things to settle, Matthew indicated his wish to make a statement.

He declared that he wanted to “make it clear that we want the case to continue,” because “Chris Cardona has an interest in stopping the case to go forward.”

Mr Cardona’s legal advisor answered that there was no such intention on their part, but that he fully understood that the comment was the result of strong emotions experienced at present.

At that point Matthew answered: “No, I’m not emotional. My head is cold.”

When I read about this last episode in court, I immediately connected it to the answers of the Maltese PM to Christiane Amanpour and felt deeply offended.

Firstly, because it reminded me of when I began my legal practice and I had to accept sharp comments from my senior colleagues because not only was I young and inexperienced, but I was a “young lady” who wanted to become a criminal lawyer. You have to understand that until the end of the 80s, most European legal cultures did not really allow the idea of women practicing criminal law because of those “special days when they get so emotional”. Unfortunately for our male colleagues, we had brilliant examples to prove them wrong – one of them being Donna Clio, the wife of Italy’s former President Giorgio Napolitano.

Secondly, and most deeply, I was offended as human being. You do not exploit someone’s sorrow to build yourself a potential excuse if you find yourself in the public eye for the actions you have allegedly committed. You simply do not.

Because the fact that someone is currently mourning the loss of someone does not mean that his or her mental abilities are impaired. Would you have called Matthew “emotional” had he decided to go to a grocer to buy some bread? No. And given that going to court or posting on facebook a clear summary of why the situation ended up being this desperate requires a bigger amount of intellectual skills (no offence implied), I’m pretty sure that Matthew was fully aware of his actions when carrying them out. Even – or better said, especially while mourning the loss of his mum.

Finally, I was offended as European citizen. While the fact that the family is actively taking action in order to pursue Daphne’s quest for the truth notwithstanding their pain is labelled as “emotional” in Malta, the European Parliament, the most representative EU Institution, has invited that very family to Strasbourg. The family today were present at a plenary session during which there was a minute of silence to honor Daphne and a debate on the status of freedom of expression at EU level. The same Institution paid its respects to her memory by naming its newsroom after Mrs Caruana Galizia.

In today’s speech, the President of the European Parliament, Mr Tajani, said that “Our Union is far more than just a market or a single currency. It is the manifestation of our values, of our identity, at the heart of which stand freedom and dignity of the individual. If we are to defend that freedom and that dignity, inside and outside the Union, we must safeguard the independence of the press. I am proud that this Parliament has always been in the front line of that battle. Daphne’s murder must not go unpunished. How can we credibly claim to defend journalists around the world if we cannot even offer them protection and justice here at home?”

He then directly addressed the family, saying that “Her family is here with us today in the gallery. To them, I would like to say that we are together in spirit with the thousands of Maltese who on Sunday took to the streets to call for justice and to pay tribute to Daphne’s work. And today 500 million Europeans stand together with the people of Malta.

Mr Tajani did not call them “emotional” for being there. Instead, he underlined the fact that we all, not just Daphne’s family, stand united to call for justice and, most important of all, to pay tribute to her work.

Because even if you’re still mourning the loss of someone, your genuine quest for the truth is the only true homage you can pay to someone whose life has been lost while searching for it.

As Judge Borsellino used to say, ““The brave dies once, the coward a hundred times a day.”