This article and accompanying Bertoon appeared in yesterday’s edition of The Malta Independent on Sunday.
Two is company, three is a virus waiting to happen
I opted for the coach-coach-plane travel itinerary for this particular homecoming trip. The incredibly hopeless state of connectivity from one of the two legal hubs of the European continent meant, once again, that the most convenient way getting to Malta involved eight and a half hours of travel by land and air.
Coaches and buses linking airports in the middle of nowhere to main cities are one of the spinoff effects of the so-called “low-cost flights”. If you go through a list of destinations of any “low-cost airline” you will probably come across the names of cities like Frankfurt, Barcelona or London. In actual fact your carefully weighed suitcase, hand luggage and person are delivered at an airport that is normally (at least) an hour’s drive away from the main city in question (see Hahn, Girona and Stansted) – hence the need for the coaches.
It’s a spin-off development with a spin-off price. “Cheap” prices advertised on “low-cost” sites are not obliged to mention the added euros that are required to fund the whole travel operation when getting from door-to-door. That is how I compare trips and costs. You basically have to take into consideration the total cost incurred from when you leave your doorstep at home to the moment you open your suitcase in the bedroom/hotel room at your chosen destination. Don’t be fooled… be informed. You can thank me later.
But I digress. I mentioned the coaches because they are not normally my preferred mode of transport – me being the gas-guzzling, unapologetic, private transport, forget-the-car pool type of person. This time, the economic crunch, an unwillingness to drive for three hours and other factors meant that I would be catching two coaches from Luxembourg to Hahn to Frankfurt. This meant travelling on two coach loads of potential carriers of the A(H1N1) virus.
This little piggy spread the news…
I’ve been wondering for some time now how the virus seemed to have trickled its way to the inner pages of the newspapers and secondary news items. We all recall the boom when it was first discovered and the various speculations regarding a possible pandemic, only for all the shebang to be followed by a sort of fizzling out to a tiny squeak. Actually that WAS the picture so long as Malta retained the enviable record of being the only EU country where the virus failed to turn up.
Then it came. A(N1H1) hit the island approximately a few days after it first hit the Grand Duchy – a nation of basically the same size population but completely different georgaphic features. Suddenly Malta began to play catch up and we moved from being a safe-haven to being a combination of mass hysteria and the base for a confusingly rapid spread of the hitherto absent virus. The church advised against manual communion while the brigade of commentators indulged in various recommendations that if adhered to would probably result in citizens being sealed in a space suit of sorts.
To be fair the rate at which the virus spread in Malta was rather speedy. Consider that up until Friday Malta had 6 cases of the flu to every one in Luxembourg. Is it the heat? Is it the population density? Or is it mere coincidence? One thing is for sure – given that a high rate of incidence has occurred in Gozo this will give free reign to that particularly obtuse set of individuals who never relent in negatively stereotypifying my fellow sister-islanders. So. Speedy it was. The tiny village of Gharb suffered the first “cluster” cases during its festa and soon the formula was clearly imprinted in the minds of the comment-crowd: masses = spread of virus.
This little piggy went hysterical…
The origins of the word “hysteria” can be traced to Hippocrates and his belief that women lacking sexual intercourse felt suffocated and eventually went mad. It may not be lack of sexual activity that keeps the commentators hysterically active at their keyboard but one does begin to suspect that they could do with other distractions.
In this case we do not have a typical case of “mass hysteria” because there is an element of truth that needs to be worried about – the actual existence and spread of the virus. What we really do not need, and should avoid at all costs, is the rumour-based and speculative kind of (mis)information that is so easily spread thanks to modern media. So while the powers that be actively engage the swine flu virus, we could do our own little bit and avoid viral reactions of the mental kind.
Basic health precautions like covering your mouth while sneezing or washing your hands at every possible moment could be a good start. I know, it is easy to dismiss hysteria until you are stuck on a two hour coach trip and the little girl two seats away just won’t stop sneezing. You can convince yourself that it must be the effect of the airconditioner all you like but somewhere in your head there is a mini-timesofmalta commentator who is typing in dyslexic block letters “SHE HAS THE VRIUS (sic). GOD SAVE US ALL!!!!!” There should be a law against the excessive use of exclamation marks anyway.
Megalomartyrs
What do Saint Demetrius, Saint Artermius, Saint Theodore Tiron and Saint George have in common? Yep. you guessed it. They are all megalomartyrs and notwithstanding my firm convictions as a child this did not mean that they could fly through the sky like most caped adventurers in the Marvel Comics. It turns out that megalo- is a Greek suffix meaning great and that in turn means that these saints did not just suffer for their faith but they suffered greatly.
This coming week is the week that includes the festivities of Saint George the Megalomartyr from Kapadokia. I tread on dangerous ground here since every “fact” I might assert risks being contradicted with lines and lines of refutation by those doctors of hagiography who might find fault in my quickly assembled research. Now most of my family is firmly rooted in the tal-iStilla fold and (to my understanding) proudly so. We are not talking the Gozitan version of “vory v zakone” but a strong sense of loyalty is required to begin to understand the fine lines between faithful devotion and rabid fanaticism.
So some time this week – as the weekend approaches – I will risk life and limb to return to Victoria and participate in that public manifestation of mass hysteria that is moving, fascinating and jaw-dropping all in one. It’s “pazzo di gioia” all over again but this time round there is a dragon-fighting, horse-riding megalomartyric metaphor to celebrate. I’ll be praying that George’s skills are just as good in warding off A(H1N1). As for the rest: “Ahna tal-iStilla u Gorgi taghna biss!”… heathens stay out.
Hey Big Spender
Some people who would normally be in need of divine intercession are the newly elected MEPs. Luckily the MSM has caught on to the glaring anomaly regarding the amounts spent by the candidates before the election and the story does not risk being swept under the carpet. It transpires (not so surprisingly) that the majority of the candidates exceeded the legal limits and a few people in their right mind would now be expecting “something to be done” about it.
Not in Malta. In Malta there will probably be a quick agreement by what Berta Sullivan likes to call “the great majority” stating that the law is an ass. The compromise will state that the spending limits are not reasonable and that the candidates should be let off the hook. Were it not for the maverick duo of Bezzina and Lowell that is precisely what would happen. The dynamic duo has however decided to challenge this ridiculous charade before the courts of law – and bravo to Bezzina and Lowell. The dirty clothes are being hung out in public and it will be difficult to brush this under the carpet. This could be a test for the PLPN modus vivendi.
It could – but my guess is we will get a quickly assembled temporary reprieve while the law is amended in order to allow both parties to spend as much of their benefactors’ money as they would like. It’s another “intelligent guess” of J’accuse’s mind you but it’s not so hard to see if you take a leaf or two out of the recent pages of our history. In short it sucks, but they will always find a way to lump us all with it. This will say a lot about the current administration and its pick’n’mix attitude to the rule of law. It will speak volumes about how Labour’s “victory” was achieved. Sadly, it will also speak volumes about the choices we insist on making at the polls.
This little piggy went to the market
I know I promised a shorter fare last week but you know what they say about promises and their being made to be broken. If I were to adhere to my self imposed limit of three-quarters of the previous length (confusing isn’t it?) I would not be able to inform you of the two-thumbs up approval of the world of netbooking. Yes, J’accuse has switched from laptop to netbook and is currently test-driving the world of “cloud computing”.
Generation Y is seeing the introduction of less hardware and more net reliant developments. It’s a magickal world – not as magickal as Dr Gonzi would like MEPA’s reform to be but close. Speaking of reform at MEPA what struck me most after a prima facie reading of the news reports is that one of the effects is a further concentration of work at the PM’s office. With all due respect to the powers of Dr Gonzi in the science of magicke I do have a lingering suspicion that this kind of option of switching problem areas to the PM is overused and has not, as yet, proven to be viable.
For how long can the formula of PM filling in ministerial gaps and flaws work? How long till “L’état c’est lui?” Where is the new breed of politicians that is so badly needed in the PN’s fold? Alas this does not bode well. Speaking of new breeds in politics there is an interesting development going on in Italy. the south of Italy to be exact. A Party for the South is being formed in Sicily with the aim of working for eight regions of the south and the two main islands. It would not be a bad idea to work closely with representatives of these regions when it comes to regional development and planning. We may be an island but we are not alone.
Islanders
There’ll be much to catch up with during this hectic week on the island. Culinary expeditions apart, I am told that a visit to the Piano plans is a must – if only to observe stand back and observe the negative reactions of some (definitely not all) of the visitors there. There’s loads of outdoor events I’ll be trying to catch and of course I will not miss out on a visit to the island home at home. Incidentally I was surprised at how many people mentioned giving Gozo a miss because of this flu business – must be hard times for the Gozo business community.
It must have definitely been a hard time for the poor dog recovered from a cave in Gozo that had to be put down. Cruelty to animals is always a stark reminder of the ugly side of human nature. There are no words to describe the villainous, base and senseless nature of whoever is capable of inflicting such pain to animals. If and when this kind of person gets apprehended they deserve as harsh a punishment as possible.
That’s it from J’accuse for now. Enjoy the sun, the sea and even the maestral winds. Whatever you do just don’t panic… and of course in the words of Mary Schmich “wear sunscreen”. See you in Gozo!
J’accuse may be sighted lounging around the Maltese archipelago as well as on http://www.akkuza.com. Thank you to pilot Denise Casolani for the faultless flight home last Thursday!
