Author: Jacques René Zammit

Categories
Arts

NippleJesus (something clever)

The reactionary movement to the restrictions on the freedom of expression has taken different forms and attracted its own limited amount (if we really want to navel gaze) of controversial moments. J’accuse came under-fire when we took the opportunity to highlight the relative futility of certain modes of protest in today’s day and ager – particularly with regards to the over-reliance on facebook clicks and petitions and on the resorting to the over-worked medium of marches in Valletta.

Our criticism was particularly harsh (and provocative) because this ‘anti-oppression & police-state‘ movement does not (and should not) concern a bunch of University students. At least it does not only concern them. The whole aspirant artistic and intellectual non-fraternity is also deep in the muck and our criticism was also a direct result of the disappointment registered seeing the paucity of reactionary ideas. This led to the usual pooh-poohing of bloggers who can only write “something clever” on their blog rather than march up Republic Street waving megaphones.

We also asked “who cares?” as this is a genuine worry that comes up time and time again. It is stronger in the case of art than in the case of politics for example for art does not even have a monopoly on 90% of the nation who look upon politics as another way to vent their cultural genetic tendency towards fanaticism. The worry is that not many people do and that the weakness of the challenge to the development of a police state is also due to the fact that so long as the people get the “panem et circenses” that they are used to then they will not protest if Virgil and Horace are locked up for obscenity.

One of the summer events last month in Luxembourg was an adaptation of a Nick Hornby short story called “Nipple Jesus“. The blurb on the agenda magazine described it as follows:

Via a monologue (sometimes humorous) given by a security guard whose duty it is to guard a museum work of art judged to be scandalous, a number of essential questions on the function of art and what should or should not be shown are raised.

Unfortunately the play was shown in Luxembourgish so I could not attend that particular performance but I did google the short story on the net. Now I do have some qualms about the copyright nature of the material but on the other hand the story is too good to be lost. You may find it in pdf version at this blog called “Tainted Canvas“. This is definitely school textbook material (yes with all the “fucks” and two “cunts” thrown in for good measure). The controversial painting in question is a huge mosaic depicting the suffering Christ on the Cross  (with emphasis on the suffering). The twist (and this is no spoiler) is that the mosaic is made of many photos of women’s nipples (“bizla” in Maltese).

Follow Dave the bouncer’s reasoning throughout the story and draw you own conclusions. I loved it. One of my favourite extracts is the bit where the bouncer reflects on the second wave of visitors – those who have come expressly to criticise the work of art having read about it (and having been provoked into not liking it) by the media circus.

Nothing much happened at first. A steady stream of people came in and looked, and a couple of them sort of clucked, but what’s really clever about the picture is that you have to get close up to get offended, because if you stand at the back of the room you can’t see anything apart from the face of Christ. So it makes the cluckers look like right plonkers, because they have to go and shove their nose up against the painting to see the nipples, and so you end up thinking they’re perverts. You know, first they have to ignore the sign on the door telling them not to go in, and then they have to walk the length of the room, and they go, “Oh, disgusting.” So they’re really looking out for it.

Magic. Read it. Now.

Nick Hornby giving a public reading at Central...
Image via Wikipedia

Blurb by Maskenada for the Luxembourgish performance:

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Categories
iTech

Tap versus Swipe

It may sound like the latest cartoon/video game produced by some Japanese tech company but it involves a much more mundane reality than that. iPhone owners will immediately sympathize with this most basic of iphoning dilemmas – do you prefer the tap or do you prefer the swipe?

Given the chance would you do away with the possibility of answering calls by having to swipe the bottom of the screen? Do you, like me, have an aversion to certain commands prompted by swiping on the iphone? Have you remained guiltily silent about the olympic difficult of performing a simple scroll on certain websites even when they have a mobile version?

I was reorganizing my app icons on the iphone last night when I stumbled upon a wonderful discovery. It was not as life changing as, say, the invention of sliced bread or the reorganization of KSU but in its own way it will have its positive effects on my standard of living. iPhone users will be familiar with the possibility of giving your iphone apps what seems to be like a collective epileptic fit by keeping your finger depressed on one of them long enough. Normally what happens next is that while the apps shake vigorously onscreen you are allowed to slide them around the different “pages”/”screens” of the iphone.

Well I was doing just that last night when I inadvertently and very serendipitously slid one app icon over another. What happened next caused my jaw to drop for a full five seconds before eventually getting over it with a shrug of the shoulder and a conclusion that such a development was inevitable. The app icons merged into one icon that – for want of a better word – we shall call a folder app. It collected the two previous apps in one and asked me to prompt it with a name for this Happy App Collective. Which I did. I called them news – because that is what the apps are about.

I then went about aggregating other apps together in the same manner and reduced the number of iphone screens to just two. That’s from an original five you know. That, my friends, is a victory for the tap over the swipe. For to access a different screen you need to swipe. To access a folder and then its various constituent apps all you do is tap happily away. And boy am I a happy tapper.

The main disadvantage with swipes is that they fail to take into consideration the grippy hand and the sticky screen. The iphone tends to gaze back at you fuzzily while it wonders whether you really meant the swipe or whether it was yet another endearing mini-hug being applied to the device that (to plagiarize Carlsberg) is probably the best handheld device in the world. iphone fails to note that our honeymoon period is over and that I am still fuming at its transformation into a senile degenerate ever since its new cousin (iphone 4) and the new OS (4.1) has entered the landscape.

At least taps are beating swipes. For now.

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Categories
Arts Rubriques

Milkshake (a teaser)

They’re drilling for oil close to home. It’s BP so it must be safe. They’re spinning thoughts in the divorce debate and lines are being crossed. It’s a PO (Pullicino Orlando) so it must be topical. They’re still wondering whether our mouths have been gagged or whether we are too scared to speak. Have we fought the law, and has it won? The Banana Republic on Saint Lawrence’s night – when the stars are dancing in the sky. Is it all about Milkshake?

mil-boghod riesaq jinstema l-pass
tal-hotbi qaddej tas-sultan
il-mishun fetah jaghli fuq in-nar
xi hadd rixu ser jitlef jitlef jitlef

mat-tokk ta’ nofs in-nhar
gallinar tas-sultan
is-serduq jidden saghtejn tard il-pagun jisthi jiftah il-mazz
kanarin jiehu lezzjonijiet tal-kant
minghand kokka xiha b’widnejn twal u toga qasira
hemm fil-gallinar
jekk roqqa qatgha tiehu tbid il-bajd
l-farawn qatt m’hu ser izur il-Kajr
gismu hu tqil wisq ghal gwinhajh
attent ghax daqt gej
attent ghax daqt gej
il-hotbi qaddej tas-sultan

(sctarr u isctri haun)

Who’s drinking your milkshake?

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Categories
Articles

J'accuse : Overnight Bags

It’s that time of the year when the arrival of the weekend heralds the packing of the overnight bag and a trip to some destination within driving distance of the Grand Duchy. It also means that the quality of the articles submitted to the Indy suffers from a telegraphic transformation as it is well nigh impossible to maintain a steady flow of coherent thought at about the same time as the mind wanders in parallel with what the encyclopaedia of the world has to throw at us.

Put briefly, the normal source of inspiration for the weekly J’accuse fare comes about as a not too summarised précis of the events populating the Internet of the previous week. At this time of the year, when the walking shoes are put on, we also add an extra set of feelers and listen to what the rest of the world is offering beneath its sun-kissed (hopefully) skies. For example, while the TV in some drive-by motel might announce record figures at the Edinburgh Fringe, and thus remind us that Art is more than alive and kicking in the more rational parts of the world, we prefer to sample this first hand by going out and about.

Walk through the cathedrals of illumination that are the bookstores in Blighty and you only stop for a minute to question whether that feeling of weirdness ever existed before getting your hands on a compendium of erotic literature that spans the centuries (The Collected Erotica – 2000 years of erotic literature available online at Waterstones) and pay for it at the check-out counter without feeling like you have violated a myriad laws of the state. “Life is easy abroad,” they will tell us Luxembourgers and Bruxellars with a wry smile. “You have no business reminding us how sad and oppressed the people of Malta are” they will say as they admonish us with much pointing of fingers and many a jealous gaze.

Intransigence

Funny how summer tends to bring out a regular parade of individuals intent on negating the attachment to Malta of their fellow countrymen simply because we do not have Malta as our one place of fixed abode at the moment. Apparently, we are no longer to be called expats but transfrontaliers or something of the sort. The phenomenon is not new on the continent; a Frenchman who commutes to Luxembourg for work will always consider himself to be a Frenchman rather than anything else and will be more worried about the advances (or otherwise) of Brother Sarkozy than in the intrigues of Juncker’s Luxembourg.

We are, however, the brigade that exists outremer (overseas) and that regularly pours articles of concerned disdain about the mishandling and mismanagement of our country. Our unbiased judgement (by national standards) is more often than not mistaken as some form of intellectual snobbishness since we can afford to stand aloof – far enough that we do not even need to peg our noses to avoid the stink. Woe betide mollycuddled (sorry Raphael, I like this version more – another jaccusism) expatriate tax-avoiders should they type even one word to criticise the goings on in the land of Milk and Honey.

Tired of the PLPN rant, I resolved to use the eighth month of the year for mental regeneneration in the hope that new ideas replace the mantra of old. No more Fear and Loathing in Valletta for us. In the meantime we notice, without any trace of humility, that the blog “e-volution” has been a partial catalyst to some form of mediatic development that was previously untraceable. Paul Borg Olivier will choose his boat trips more carefully next time around and he will do so because – notwithstanding all cynicism and conspiracy theories – such trips no longer go unnoticed.

bert4j_100808

Emancipation

Last week I criticised the Front Against Censorship for its choice of medium for protesting against the current state of the freedom of expression. The reaction to my criticism has prompted much of this article this week. I stand by my original statement – not with any intention of discouraging the young lads (ah, how I yearn for the folly of youth) from their task, but rather to urge them into more proactive action. Bring the Fringe to the streets of Malta. Fill space with ideas and darkness with light. The protest is not just a means in itself, it could become the very expression that the Front are rightly reclaiming.

The Internet is a wonderful medium of empowerment and expression. It is still, I believe, an unknown factor in Maltese social life and politics. We have still to see what the numbers are behind the equations – what is a “popular website”? , “What can we consider to be the maximum threshold for a Maltese website in terms of hits?” “how net literate are we?”. New battle lines are being drawn on the ether as Google controversially toys with the concept of “internet neutrality”. After its bumpy honeymoon with the Chinese giant, Google still seems to be hungry for power that ill befits its slogan of “Do no evil”.

Books

No overnight bag would be complete without a book to accompany you on the journey. I still have not got used to the e-book reader thanks to the hundreds of snags afforded by proprietary rights so I still depend on the printed word. I’m stocking up on a mixture of classics this summer – books I should have read long ago. From On the Road (Kerouac) to Kafka’s Castle through to a gigantic compendium on the history of Christianity. The best catch of the week has to be Thucydides’ History – an illustrated bumper hardback that is a veritable time machine into the days of our forefathers.

When I tire of the books, I switch to photography and editing – a new, very amateurish hobby of mine. Books and cameras will accompany me on any journey. During that journey I will sample the goods and delicacies of the lands I visit – like the memorable Winston Churchill burger I once washed down in Chaucer’s Canterbury. It was a home-made burger with all the right spices coated in sweet onions and a lovely capping of melted Stilton. As rudely pleasant as the Wife of Bath (God bade us for to ‘wexe’ and ‘multiplye’).

Art cannot die because if art dies then mankind is dead. It accompanies us to the depths of the earth. This expression business has really stuck in my head more than any other issue that has been in the headlines in Malta recently. It is a sad situation at the moment because it is a sad reflection on a country with so much potential that can only be wasted thanks to our trend for internecine warfare and jealous ideals. Frankly, I’m switching off the thinking cap for the next few weeks as I absorb, absorb, absorb.

For the world has so much to offer. If we’re prepared to listen that is.

www.akkuza.com is sort of packing its bags every weekend this summer. Join us in the interim and check out our views. As we type, publisher Chris Gruppetta has guest posted about what he thinks is the next big step in the freedom of expression saga. Gesundheit.

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Categories
Zolabytes

Book Burners and Antipodi

Publisher Chris Gruppetta gives us his thoughts, prophecies and ideas on the forthcoming Vella Gera novel “L-Antipodi” along with a few lessons to the “book burning brigade. Enjoy this Zolabyte.
Don’t worry, it’s not yet-another-article on Li Tkisser Sewwi …
The Maltese Book-Burning Brigade must be in a pickle right now. You see, one of their lead arguments when inciting and applauding the prosecution of author Alex Vella Gera and editor Mark Camilleri for the short story Li Tkisser Sewwi, was that this was not literature, but smut. “ ’tis vulgar and obscene, unredeemed by literary merit” — “It can’t be compared to Irvine Welsh, whose books are works of literature” — “this is just obscenity for the sake of titillation and disgust”

What on earth, now, will they make of this? On the 22nd August, Vella Gera will be launching his latest novel, L-Antipodi, the first chapter of which is circulating on the internet. And having read this teaser, I dare anyone to say this is not literature. Beautifully crafted, with pitch-perfect dialogue, smoothly executed time-shifts, and an underlying sadness and maturity that haunts, this first chapter will be a tough act to follow. Of course, not having yet laid my hands on the rest of the novel, it could well turn out to be a hopeless anti-climax. It could, but I’d be extremely surprised if it were.

I am not necessarily a Vella Gera fan. I passed on his first novel, and subsequently I vehemently argued against the censorship of his short story in Realtà, but not on the grounds of artistic merit. If anything, my point was that we should not seek to defend his right to freedom of expression by hiding behind “artistic merit”, as if only great writing were allowed to be explicit and direct.

Yet this first chapter includes – though not in the quantity and intensity of Li Tkisser Sewwi – a number of explicit phrases, including the dreaded “ħexa” word and stuff being shoved in and out. So now I am looking forward to hearing the Taleban Brigade’s take on this. Will they deem this novel acceptable because its bona fide literary value cancels out the occasionally explicit language? Unlikely. Or will they furiously backpedal, now claiming that even in the case of works of literary merit, a Disney-level curfew should be imposed? “No kissing unless it’s a caste peck on the lips.”

Whatever they say or do, Vella Gera’s new novel will fly off the shelves. Irrespective of content, that was bound to happen the minute Realtà got slapped with the ban. That, dear Book-Burning Brigade, is the ultimate utilitarian reason for not banning books: it tends to backfire, giving the author reams of free publicity and ensuring his presence in the bestseller lists. However it would be a great pity if L-Antipodi were to sell out merely because of the curiosity effect. The first chapter at least, is a solid work of literature – ranking among the most interesting novel-openers this year – that deserves to be read by all Maltese literature fans.

*****
Zolabytes is a rubrique on J’accuse – the name is a nod to the original J’accuser (Emile Zola) and a building block of the digital age (byte). Zolabytes is intended to be a collection of guest contributions in the spirit of discussion that has been promoted by J’accuse on the online Maltese political scene for 5 years.

Opinions expressed in zolabyte contributions are those of the author in question. Opinions appearing on zolabytes do not necessarily reflect the editorial line of J’accuse the blog.
***

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Categories
Politics

Anosognosia

Hoi Polloi (1935 film)
Image via Wikipedia

It means “you don’t know what you don’t know” and it is a perfect starting point to elaborate on the discussion provoked by my last article on the Indy (Nolens Volens). It turns out that I dared criticise the uncriticiseable and that barring a few more moderate reactions the gist of most comments would be “non sparare sulla croce rossa”. Let us see what sparked off the anger at my criticism and why – as Matt put it – both sides could be saying the same things in different ways.

1. J’accuse never condoned censorship

Let’s get this out of the way. It should by now be very clear that the line taken by this blogger on the current state of affairs regarding freedom of expression and, more particularly, the laws on censorship is one that stands firmly on the side of those who believe that our country is going through one hell of an anachronistic phase. The Stitching judgement and the inability of politicians to legislate clearly in areas where the law seems to leave a lacuna have been criticised extensively in the our writings. I canot understand why I even have to explain that part of the equation. In case it is not clear my personal position on censorship is that if it has to exist it should be in the form of classification and never in the form of outright banning.

Incidentally I also have gone on record confirming the right of extremists to express their sick (sic) ideas in public. The content of the rhetoric must be countered, if needs be, with more rhetoric and not with gagging. Criminal law would do the rest of the job: e.g. you can express your hatred of other races as much as you like (stupid, ignorant and neanderthal as you may sound) but once you incite people to violence then don’t hide behind the “freedom of expression” the moment the prison door shuts behind you. Ugly racist bigots exist. We need to be shocked with the truth not to be protected from it.

2. The hoi polloi, the spoudaios and the average man in the street

DF repeated in so many words what I have touched upon already. Xarabank is successful, village feasts and their petards still top popularity lists and Lou Bondi is considered to be an excellent investigative journalist. It should come as no surprise then that when a law court such as the First Hall Civil Court examines how the man in the street could be affected by watching a performance of Stitching it “gets it all wrong”. Let me stick my neck out again and risk being called an intellectual snob – is the law unjustified in protecting the current standard of education (for want of a better word)? If the judge sitting on a bench is to examine how the average man in the street would interpret Stitching is he to be blamed if he sees the average man as taking a dramatic metaphor literally? Is the board of censors?

Chris  hit the nail on the head from a more practical perspective:

If I may (as usual) see it from the book publishing perspective: what do you expect of a country where arguably the best piece of Maltese literature written in recent years sells a maximum of 1,000 copies, in so doing practically reaching market saturation? I mean, surely the easiest, most hassle-free, Pontius Pilate way of ’supporting creativity’ in Malta would be to spend Eur10- and buy a copy of an amazing book. If less than 1,000 ppl bothered to do even that (and that’s including the assorted freebies, competition prizes, and purchases ‘tal-obbligu’ by extended families and ex-girlfriends), do you expect a 1,000 ppl to bother to turn up for a march? Or, in your desideratum, participate in some massive display of subversiveness?

Are we intellectual snobs, or as I like to call ourselves “wankellectuals” (constantly amused by mental masturbation – incidentally I have a PC term for the ladies among you – “cliterati”), when we decide that +/- 1,000 people is the maximum threshold of intelligentsia? Where does all this take us?

3. Artists of the Country Disaggregate!

The assaults on the freedom of expression have exposed, once again, a serious lacuna in this country. We are in the process of discovering Maltese “anosognosia”. We are learning about how much we do not know and how far we are from knowing. Raphael may rant all he likes about his pet pickle with students “who only protest when their pocket is hurt” (was not that a big indicator of pleasures yet to come 15 years ago?) and about how unfair of me it is to shoot on the Red Cross (not in so many words) because a bunch of University students got their chance to traipse up Republic Street with a megaphone and a coffin. Sure there is nothing wrong in this graffiti-ist reaction. I thought the same way when I convinced fellow SDM members to join Graffitti on a protest against the visit of Li Peng in Malta (I wish I could find a photo of the 20+ students who turned up to be kicked away by the police). Would I be too patronising if I said “now, now of course it makes an impact – if anything it gives MaltaToday an excuse of something to record on video” ?

That was not my point though was it? I could easily be drawn into a list of comparisons as to what makes an impact and what does not. Apparently very little does make an impact outside the formations of the PLPN power circle and unfortunately making a splash within those circles requires the big “V” word : Votes. So was I too harsh when I said that the protesters are molly-cuddled (sic) into a way of protesting/complaining that is in full conformity with the state of how things are run? Of course I was. Purposely so.

On the other hand, I’m sorry if I missed the graffito about the pope (darn) but if that is our answer to Banksy then something must be missing somewhere. We need a counterculture that gives the upcoming youth (who are still more worried about their stipend than whether they use it to buy tickets to Shakespeare at the Argotti) an alternative way of expressing their preference. Before we take the coffin to Valletta and blame the judge for showing us (mistakenly, in our way of thinking) that our society still believes that it needs to be “protected” from new ideas (sad really to describe them as new) why don’t we explore what is keeping the droves firmly stuck to Xarabank and believing in the Gospel of Bondiplus and away from the ideas behind Realtà and Stitching.

This is a country where people would presumably be shocked by a moral play bringing into question issues such as the holocaust but where 87% of respondents on an online poll would send immigrants back to Human Right Haven Libya on a boat.

4. Apologia

To conclude, I see your points – Raphael, Chris, DF, Danny, Matt and the silent ones (sono veggente) – but I stand by the points I made. Questions are being asked of our society and I believe that all parts – including the artists and wankellectuals – need to be preparing a strong case for their future role in society. Carrying coffins into Valletta may be alright for the PR (and for the footage) but it does nothing to challenge the equation.

P.S. Spare me the bullshit of “komdu int il-Lussemburgu”. I don’t know why I bother answering it but in any case before you even think it, just think – for one second – that if that statement were really true why the hell would I be bothering AT ALL?

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