Author: Jacques René Zammit

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No Bikini At-all

The Bikini gets its name from the Bikini atoll which was the area targeted for a nuclear test at the same time as the fashion symbol and style hit the catwalks in Europe. Western Europeans got over the initial fuss when the seaside attire was popularised by the great Hollywood divas and anyone outside the world of Talibans and Mujaheddins no longer is impressed by the appearance of a bikini in littoral towns nowadays. Not so in Balluta Bay Malta:

An indecent attitude
Dunstan Crockford, St Julians
The other day I witnessed a modern form of “lynching”. A young foreign student was wearing a bikini in Balluta Square. At first nobody said or did anything but as she decided to leave and was walking down the few steps to the pavement, a mature woman loudly screamed and ran towards her.
This attitude sparked off a crowd of around 10 persons all howling names at the bewildered girl: “dirty”, “go home”, “shame”, “get dressed”. One even threatened to throw her in the sea! At this point the foreign girl was joined by her friends and plucked up some courage. She crossed the road and took photos of the hostile crowd. Naturally this provoked more insults.
In no way am I condoning the girl’s attire but surely there are decent ways to approach situations like these!

That’s from the Times’ letter section. Which is obviously a good time to point out why it makes so much sense to have a referendum on such things as divorce. Are you still so sure about that Lawrence?

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J'accuse : Intemperate Winds

It’s a windy Sunday, or at least it’s supposed to be. That’s if the weatherman got his calculations right and a strong wind should have been blowing across the island since last night acting as a downright spoiler to whatever estival events you might have planned. For me that means that a boat trip with the extended family will not be taking place this afternoon and that I will have to forego the last visit to the various nooks and crannies of Comino and Gozo. To others, this ill wind scattering uninvited across the isles has meant a forfeit of an evening of melodic entertainment with Malta’s favourite musical son and Signor Cocciante.

Doubtless the anti-open theatre lobby will already be smirking and repeating the “I told you so” mantra about the usefulness of open air theatres and events in Malta. The crowing started earlier this week when the predicament of the European Baroque Orchestra showed up the limitations imposed by our humid environment on most instruments in open air. To be fair I did not really see the point of so much complaining when I sat through the splendidly set Midsummer Night’s Dream in the Argotti gardens (Bravo Globe Theatre people). While the occasional firework might have proven to be a slight distraction every now and then, the most distracting noise on the evening turned out to be a tiff between cats towards the end of the performance.

All this probably leaves a hung jury on the business of the pros and cons of outside performances at the end of the day although I am beginning to be convinced by the arguments favouring a revision of the City Gate plans to incorporate a roofed lot where the Opera House used to be.

Mistral

But back to the ill wind. It has been a splendiferous couple of days barring the couple of hours when the sweltering heat combined with the drenching humidity sufficed to send any reasonable man in tilt. I cannot stop singing the praises of some of Malta’s finest beaches – top among which must be Ghadira Bay. It might take a humungous effort of coordination and civic consciousness but the crystal waters and the absence of beach louts are enough to make you want to visit the beach again, again and again. Undoubtedly Malta’s best advert is Mother Nature herself.

Unfortunately we do not seem to be too keen on preserving the more natural side of the equation. It’s not just nature in the tree-hugging sort of sense. There are also more modern kinds of pollution that lead me to marvel at how tourists are not abandoning the islands in droves. Whatever happened, for example, to the rule/law of no major construction works in tourist areas in the summer months? Have the PLPN benefactors had their way again? Why does the man with the jackhammer still wake up anyone within listening distance of Church Street, Paceville at 8am and how does he walk away from his job after four hours daily of constant hammering. Does not prolonged use of a pneumatic drill turn a man into a human vibrator?

Another thing. Who, and with what divine inspiration, allowed the myriad cranes to apparate along the main thoroughfares of Paceville without so much of a by your leave? Paceville must be the only corner of Malta to witness 24-hour gridlock. The carefully planned (do you smell the sarcasm?) blockage of more parking spaces in Saint George’s Road (for Pender Place trucks to exit occasionally) must be second in uselessness only to the massive new “No Parking” footprint (at least six places) blocked out by the new boutique student harem/hotel known as The George. You would think that if new hotels come complete with underground parking they need not block a whole street of parking places.

Scirocco

Out on a boat trip on Friday (course reunion – never put 14 lawyers in one boat – which is why we used two) I could witness the growth and growth of the buildings along the coast from Valletta to Comino. Sliema is particularly impressive though not, obviously, to the levels of the Manhattan skyline that one can see on an evening trip on the New York Water taxi. A question that rings through your mind as you cruise along the beautiful waters is how much public land is dedicated to private building and foreclosed from public use. The saddest picture of them all must be the tiny tower dwarfed by a hotel in the Saint George’s Bay area. It yells for help surrounded by the walls of concrete – a fate soon to be shared by the tower at the end of Tigné Point.

One of my colleagues raised an interesting question regarding the foul smelling tuna farms. Technically speaking the area of the sea in which these tuna farms are kept is public property. How much of that public property generates returns to the benefit of the nation? Which set me thinking that if this was Venezuela we’d have nationalised the tuna farms ages ago. Instead we make do with a pittance of taxation on a product reared on public property and which incidentally leaves a nice oily trail on our seabed. Spiffin’.

Levante

Leaving nature and the seabed behind us there’s still things political going on in this island of Don Camillo and Peppone. News of Sliema’s young mayor being locked out of his own council’s emergency meeting made the headlines this week as yet another mayor seems to have to deal with a mutiny on his hands. This follows hot on the heels of the Fgura incident where another young mayor was sidelined by his own party – supposedly for his own good. Are the young studs of the PLPN stables finding the kitchen too hot to handle?

Meanwhile in Zebbug it was not the mayor making the headlines but the parish priest. Father Daniel Cardona erected a temporary billboard (we assume it is temporary for there is a temporary indulgence of 21 days from the requirement of Mepa permits if a billboard has a socio-religious function). The infamous quote of Malachi 2:16 has now become “God does not want divorce” – to which the obvious answer should be “God has no vote”.

bert4j_100725

Now I have no problem with the Catholic Church or members thereof airing their opinion publicly about the best future of civil legislation on the institute of marriage and its possible dissolution. As any other member of this open society of ours, and as one which has long influenced its staggered progress towards the future, the Church too has a role and understandable influence on what happens in our society. Which does not mean to say that its “catholic” and universal elements still hold automatically. If the civil debate on whether or not to allow divorce should centre around the issue of whether deities approve of such dissolution then we might as well resort to augurs and the slaying of goats on altars as we read the signs in their entrails.

This is proving to be hard to explain to the weak-willed believers who are unable to come to terms with the fact that the availability of divorce does not perforce mean that they themselves will be forced to avail of it. I should hope that we will not get stuck discussing the finer elements of divination while ignoring the more secular of arguments that should be relevant to this discussion. Once again J’accuse laments the fact that the only party with the balls to take a definite stand on the issue of the introduction of divorce is the one that has been effectively ostracised by the voting population. Such is our ironic predicament. Bring on the cohabitation Bill – there seems not to be a Malachi quote to tell us of God’s will on that particular issue.

Libeccio

I’ve left the worst wind for Gozitan commuters for last. I didn’t spend enough time on Gozo this time round and must make amends as soon as possible. Last Sunday though I did get to eat at one of Gozo’s best kept secrets. Il-Lantern restaurant at Marsalforn (part of the guesthouse in Qbajjar Road) serves what is probably the best rabbit spaghetti and stew in the whole of the Maltese islands. A footballing buddy of my youth, Rafel, braves the heat of the kitchen to provide you with a five-star homely stew fit for the palate of a king. Don’t expect refined silver service – it would not befit the ambience – but do expect a welcoming smile and good hearty food that your grandma would enjoy without batting an eyelid. Sunday visitors can also buy the Indy on the way in.

It’s been a fun break back home packed with sun, food and sea. It will be hard to slog back to Mitteleuropa where the winds are known to reach over 120 km/h and where most concerts and activities are held indoors in magnificent theatres but a man needs to get bread to the table. Even if most of it is gluten free. I’m over and out from Paceville, Saint Julian’s, Malta.

www.akkuza.com returns to Luxembourg by Tuesday. Back to basics and blogging for Malta’s longest-running source of indy punditry.

This article and accompanying Bertoon appear in today’s edition of The Malta Independent on Sunday

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FVRIA NERA (BDS)

Ir redattioni tal Bollettino Della Sfiga ghandha piacir thabbar edittioni speciali ta’ FVRIA NERA, l-organu officiali tal-iscuadra storica Deportivo Estudiantes. Jinghad illi id-Deportivo Estudiantes huma l-echdem scuadra fil-ligg tal-futsal Malti u li dauna mincheiia li huma scuadra di natura amatoriali jiehdu il-loghba tal-ballun bl-achbar serietà. Gara illi il-gimgha l-ohra plejer tal-iscuadra naqas milli jattendi loghba tal-11-a-side contra il-famigerati Valencia XI u li ghalhecc id-Deportivo tilphu bi score ta’ sitt gowls bi tlieta. Hunhecc ched nirriproducu is-sententia mill-bord tal-Autoritaiet li inharget contra il-famigerat scariota illi halla l-iscuadra minghair portier ghall-loghba. – Gakbu Sfi*o (Testata Sportiva BDS)

IKUN JAF KULĦADD KIF ISEGWI

DEPORTIVO ESTUDIANTES F.C.C.Q.

PROĊEDURA TA’ DIXXIPLINA

24 ta’ Lulju, 2010

Ġie imressaq quddiem l-awtoritajiet tax-xirka ċertu  MARK PAUL BRIFFA, minn xi nies magħruf bħala “Craxi”, ta’ tnejn u tletin sena, ġuvni, residenti is-Swieqi, u dan iż-żagħżugħ ġie mixli kif isegwi:-

Talli fit-22 ta’ Lulju, 2010, u fi ġranet preċedenti, irrenda ruħu ħati ta’ nuqqas ta’ ħeġġa lejn l-interess suprem tax-xirka, billi ma attendiex għal logħba futbol 11-a-side ġewwa l-Luxol Grounds, Saint Andrews, minkejja li kien ingħata debitu u koerenti preavviż;

Ukoll talli fl-istess jiem huwa irrenda ruħu ħati ta’ negliġenza gravissima lejn ix-xirka, dana billi naqas li jagħti avviż dwar il-fatt li ma kienx ser jattendi, b’mod illi, bil-komportament tiegħu, ikkomprometta ir-riżultat tal-partita (kontra ix-xirka, naturalment);

Intalab illi l-istess mixli:

1.     jiġi skwalifikat għal għomru minn kull logħob tal-futbol, kemm max-xirka kif ukoll ma kwalunkwe persuni oħra, inklużi oratorji u lanqas fit-triq jew fl-ispjaġġja b’ballun tal-plastika jew supertele;

2.     jiġi bastonat mija u tlettax –il darba fuq iż-żewġ irkobbtejh ‘biex jitgħallem’ kif ukoll ħalli żgur ikollu jottempera mal-ewwel kundanna;

3.     jiġi mirfus minn truck tal-ġebel, concrete mixer, jew inġenju ieħor ta’ mhux inqas minn żewġ tunnellati, meħuda kura li ma jmutx waqt l-istrapazz u li jkun konxju il-ħin kollu, mhux bi ħniena imma sabiex l-istat ta’ velja u ta’ luċidità tiegħu jippermettulu li jesperjenza l-eqqel ħruxijiet tat-tbatija b’mod l-aktar parteċipi;

4.     peress li huwa goalkeeper, prevja in-nomina ta’ esperti Rumeni għal tali għan, jgħaddi minn taħt idejn il-“Metodu Helmut Ducadam” b’mod illi jinkisrulu is-swaba’ kollha ta’ idejh it-tnejn b’konvalexxenza neċessarja ta’ mhux inqas minn disa’ xhur, kif ukoll illi għal tali perjodu jinżamm forzozament ġewwa kantina, bir jew x’imkien ieħor umdu ħalli ma jonqosx li jibda jbati mill-osteoporożi;

5.     jiġu konfiskati mill-pussess tiegħu il-flokkijiet kif ukoll ix-shorts kollha tad-Deportivo Estudiantes;

6.     ismu jiġi ikkanċellat mill-kotba u l-annali tad-Deportivo Estudiantes u kull fejn kien jirrikorri tali isem, minnflok jinkitbu l-kliem “dak il-ġarra l…, li kien goaler imma li tneħħilu ismu għax ħareġ ta’ p…..a”;

7.     naturalment ukoll, ma jiġix mistieden għall-attivitajiet soċjali tax-xirka, għal liema kull meta dawn iseħħu, irid ikun iktar ’il bogħod minn djametru ta’ erba’ kilometri minn fejn tkun qegħda tinżamm l-attività, sew jekk festiva, sew jekk ta’ dieqa.

Bl-ispejjeż tal-proċess u tal-ħruxijiet konsegwenti.

Evalwati il-fatti tal-każ, jirriżulta is-segwenti:

Id-Deportivo dejjem kellu diffikultà kbira biex isib goalkeepers suret in-nies, alemu sa livell aċċettabbli għall-aspirazzjonijiet internazzjonali tal-istess “club”.

Minkejja ħafna tfittxijiet, kellu jirripjega fuq l-imputat u jużah għal ħafna logħbiet, fejn, ikollu jiġi ammess, ma ikkomportax ruħu ħażin, apparti l-fatt illi wera “distribution skills” ekwivalenti għal vending machine fid-dockyard fil-bidu tas-snin tmenin.

Dawn l-attivitajiet komplew għaddejjin għal tul ta’ snin.

Fis-sena 2010, ix-xirka bi pjaċir, mal-“cricket”, il-futbol, u il-quiz żiedet ukoll skwadra tal-11-a-side, u bdiet tniedi logħbiet kontra timijiet organizzati mill-perfidissimu Valenzia, illi l-“average age” tal-iskwadi tiegħu tinżel b’erba’ snin kull logħba waqt illi id-difiża tad-Deportivo tant hi antika li għadha tgerger fuq kemm ma ħariġx ta’ raġel Napuljun meta ġie Malta, u kemm hu qasir.

Fl-11-a-side, l-importanza tal-goalkeeper hija naturalment waħda nevralġika, il-lasta hija kbira u l-ħsad huwa ftit.

Il-mixli ġie avżat kemm –il darba dwar id-data, il-ħin u il-lok tal-logħba.

Il-mixli però ma weġibx għad-diversi talbiet lilu magħmula, kemm permezz ta’ korrispondenza elettronika kif ukoll bil-metodu tal-sms, mhux biss, imma fil-jum tal-partita kellha tkun telefonata mix-xirka stess illi wasslet għar-rivelazzjoni skarjotika li l-imputat ma kienx ġej għal-logħba, għal liema oltraġġ lanqas ingħatat spjegazzjoni.

Kieku ingħatat spjegazzjoni valida, bħal per eżempju, serata galanti, l-imputat  seta’ (forsi) jibbenefika minn xi skonti ta’ piena, imma dana ma ġarax.

L-aġir tal-imputat huwa bil-wisq aggravat mill-fatt illi ir-risposta waslet tant tard fiż-żmien, b’mod illi allura ma setgħux jiġu użufruwiti opzjonijiet oħra jew bniedem kwalsiasi li għandu nofs talent ta’ goaler, dana naturalment għax kien tard wisq.

Bħala konsegwenza diretta tal-aġir tal-imputat, id-Deportivo qala’ xejn inqas minn sitt goals, dana għaliex il-persuni li alternaw ruħhom b’abnegazzjoni bejn il-lasti assolutament ma kellhomx idea ta’ “goalkeeping” u del resto wieħed ma jippretendix li jkollhom għaliex jaqdu dmirhom f’partijiet oħra tal-“pitch”.

Irriżulta wkoll minn sorsi informati u attendibbli li ir-raġuni għaliex l-imputat ma attendiex kienet addirittura laqgħa tar-Round Table, jew xi entità simili.

Ma hemmx għalfejn jingħad, imma xorta ser jingħad, illi dan il-fatt jaggrava ħafna l-posizzjoni tal-imputat, u il-Kumitat ta’ Dixxiplina ħaseb ħafna dwar il-possibilità illi il-piena tkun attwalment eħrax minn dik mitluba (f’dawn il-proċeduri, dana jista’ jsir).

Bħala liġijiet u regolamenti applikabbli, apparti is-sens komun, hemm biss l-istatut, illi jaqra testwalment hekk:

STATVT

ID “DEPORTIVO ESTUDIANTES” HIJA SCIRCA SPORTIVA U CULTURALI IMNEDIA MINN ANTONIO TUFIGNO U JAMES BANNISTER, FEIN JIDDECIDU COLLOSC DEJJEM HUMA U HUMA BISS.

FIRMAT:

ANTONIO TUFIGNO                                                                                                     JAMES BANNISTER

L-imputat ma ressaq ebda prova in difiża in vista tal-akkużi miġjuba kontra tiegħu, u sewwa għamel, għax tenut kont ta’ dak li għamel, kien imissu jistħi kieku ipprova jazzarda jiddefendi ruħu b’xi mod. Dana apparti mill-fatt illi naturalment lanqas ma ġie avżat li seta’ jressaq il-provi, għax xorta kieku kien probabilment joħroġ b’valanga ċuċati li setgħu, se mai, jippeġġoraw is-sitwazzjoni tiegħu.

Fatturi mitiganti, fil-fatt, assolutament ma hemmx, u, fil-verità, dan il-Kumitat, li huwa prevenut kontrih u li naturalment beda u mexxa dan il-proċess bl-intenzjoni mill-bidu sal-aħħar li jsibu ħati, ma qgħadx iħabbel rasu f’dan is-sens. Meta inti ħati, ħati u daqshekk.

Ħtija tal-imputat allura tirriżulta b’mod lampanti u assolut u bla ebda ombra ta’ dubju u għalhekk jeħtieġ li din il-proċedura, li hija l-ewwel waħda ta’ dan it-tip, twassal għal kundanna eżemplari u kif jgħid il-popolin, “inċaqċquhielu sewwa”.

Madanakollu mhux per simpatija personali imma sempliċement għaliex l-imputat jaf jiġi utli f’ċerti attivitajiet fosthom ġarr ta’ oġġetti ingombranti u ġieli wera ruħu utli bħala ħabib, il-Kumitat ma jħossx illi, minkejja il-ħtija spudorata u fjammeġġjanti tiegħu, jista’ jemana kundanna sħiħa kif mitlub, speċjalment fir-rigward tar-raba’ talba għaliex kieku jgħaddi mill-Metodu Helmut Ducadam, imbagħad ma jkun jista’ jġorr xejn, b’dannu kbir għal kulħadd.

Jaqta’ għalhekk u jiddeċidi il-Kumitat tal Awtoritajiet illi, waqt illi jsib lill-imputat Mark Paul Briffa magħruf bħala “Craxi” ĦATI tal-akkużi kollha miġjuba kontrih, jikkundannah:

Għal sospensjoni ta’ sitt xhur minn kull attività sportiva, fl-usa’ sens, jiġifieri xejn FIFA, XBOX, Playstation u lanqas Chess;

Jippreżenta ruħu għand Ġanni ta’ Fotti nhar il-5 ta’ Awwissu, 2010, fit-830 ta’ filgħaxija, fejn, fil-presenza tal-players tad-Deportivo kollha, in-nisa tagħhom kif ukoll it-tfal, jiġi mgħoddi minn pubblika umiljazzjoni billi għas-serata kollha jiġi ikkunsidrat bħala “Round Table” umana, fejn ikollu joqgħod “on all fours”u jippreżenta daru f’forma ta’ mejda, fuq liema mejda jintqegħdu diversi pjetanzi għal min ħaqqu, waqt illi naturalment l-imputat ma jmissu xejn la mil-ikel u lanqas mix-xorb.

Bl-ispejjeż tal-ikla, u tal-ħasil tal-art jekk bħala mejda, l-imputat ma jikkomportax ruħu tajjeb.

It-terminu tal-appell minn din is-sentenza jibda jiddekorri mill-lum sa nhar it-Tnejn, 26 ta’ Lulju, 2010, fil-11 pm, bl-email u bi spjegazzjoni motivata ta’ għalfejn wieħed qiegħed jazzarda tant li jappella. Fil-każ malawgurat ta’ appell, naturalment, dana jinstema’ mill-istess Kumitat, kif identikament kostitwit.

(Firmat)

Il-Kumitat tal-Awtoritajiet

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iTech

Dangers of Facebook

It’s only recently that Facebook has finally given in to installing a “panic button” that should allow young, vulnerable browsers and users to alert the authorities whenever they perceive a danger. Facebook dangers are not only about paedophiles and sex-offenders though. There’s the risk of scavengers for information and personal data gaining access to your inner sancta sanctorum. Knowing how to manage the information that you make available on facebook is just as important as the panic button for youngsters.

One of the most common ways of gaining access to other peoples’ profile and photos is by creating a fake identity and then befriending people on facebook. Most people are flattered by a friend request and more so when the person in question looks rather “attractive” in his or her profile pic. Which is why probably more men fall for the add a friend bit than women. Men are suckers for what they assume to be another admirer. I was alerted to the activities of a supposed “Anne Borg” on facebook.

So I checked out Ms Borg. The profile photos aren’t exactly revealing – a single photo taken of a woman looking sideways – and a supposed location of Los Angeles (California). There’s little or nothing by way of clues and activity only a long list of friends. The usual suspects really. Semi-celebrities who might have been flattered by another “fan” and politicos – quite a few of those. Funny how nobody’s suspicion was piqued by a one photo character with the commonest surname in Malta and innocuous name living in LA. I was.

So I did an image search. An easy thing to do nowadays. Anne Borg’s photo turns out to be for sale on a professional photographers’ site. Here is Nathan Rupert’s site. Now check out Scream Daisy loving Anne Borg. You gotta love the anonymous fecker behind the site. The face doesn’t get as anonymously harmless than that.

"Anne Borg" on Facebook
"Anne Borg" by Nathan Rupert

There you go. Not so difficult to tell the fake from the real is it? So to all you who have gotten sucked in by this impostor don’t forget to unfriend asap (quick Bocca if you’re reading this … it’s not a fan it’s a stalker).

Some tips from another website about security awareness are in order:

  • Consider restricting access to your profile. If the site allows it, it’s a good idea to limit access to your profile. Don’t allow strangers to learn everything they can about you. It’s just not safe.
  • Keep your private information private. Never post your full name, Social Security number, address, phone number, financial information or schedule. These will make you vulnerable to identity thieves, scams, burglars, or worse.
  • Choose a screen name that is different from your real name. Avoid using any personal information that would help someone identify or locate you offline.
  • Think twice before posting your photo. Photos can be used to identify you offline. They can also be altered or shared without your knowledge.
  • Don’t post information that makes you vulnerable to a physical attack. Revealing where you plan to meet your friends, your class schedule, or your street address is almost an open invitation for someone to find you. Remember that a photo in front of the Co-op tells strangers you are in Austin, and quite likely at the university.
  • Use your common sense. If you are contacted by a stranger online, find out if any of your established friends know the person, or run an online search on them (after all, you can use these things to your own benefit too!). If you agree to meet them, make it in a public place and invite others to join you.
  • Trust your instincts. If you feel threatened or uncomfortable during an online interaction, don’t continue the dialogue. Report any offensive behavior to the social networking Web site administrators.
  • Be suspicious. Don’t take any information you receive from a new online contact at face value. The Internet makes it easy for people to say or do things they would never say or do in public or in face-to-face interactions. Protecting yourself is the smart thing to do.

BE PREPARED!!

This has been J’accuse. Snooping so you don’t have to.

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I.M. Jack : The Secular Post Edition

Gode di Immunità Ecclesiastica
The sponsors of the anti-divorce billboard erected by the Zebbug Parish are performing all sorts of cartwheels in order to make it clear that they are actually fence-sitters of the prime order and are neither for or against divorce. I guess it is important to know that Mega Tech of Mdina Road, Zebbug, fine purveyors of electronic gaming, have absolutely no opinion whatsoever in favour or against divorce though I am sure you could buy a copy of The Sims (check out the Guide to Marriage in the Sims at the end of this post) from the establishment – complete with married couples and all.

I like the way Jason Grech of Mega Tech used the smoking metaphor for an analogy as to why sponsors should not be associated with the message. Rothmans used to sponsor the football league, he says, but it does not mean that smoking is good for footballers. Bank of Valletta are into their tenth year of sponsoring the MFA’s premier league and we are inching towards legislation that bans advertising of cigarettes completely. That’s the thing about advertising Jason, it’s full of those irritating messages you can’t control. You should stick to the PLPN way – you give them the off the books bung and the Curia/Parish will give you a highway to heaven.

Apparently the church billboard did not need a permit because it fell under socio-religious classification which means it can be erected for 21 days without a permit. I wonder if some company is willing to sponsor the J’accuse Billboard that we could erect in Zebbug square for 21 days – it would state “God has no vote/ Alla m’ghandux vot”. Anonymous bungs accepted.

Tut Tut Flies and Aedes Albopictus

This is an Aedes albopictus female mosquito ob...
Image via Wikipedia

No new sightings have been made of the dangerous Asian Tiger Mosquito in Malta. The albino-like varmint had shaken a few feathers with two sightings in September and November. It is a carrier of such niceties as dengue and yellow fevers. Thankfully the committee specially appointed by the government for the search and destroy mission did not make any further sightings. What Malta is still full of is the local “tut tut” fly. People complaining endlessly about the heat (justified), prices (not entirely justified) and anything they can complain about in mid conversation. Speaking of mid-conversation, J’accuse spotted fellow a fellow Luxembourg dweller bravely wearing these pink crocs at the Embassy in Valletta.

crocs spotted at embassy

Driving Maniacs

There is absolutely no reason whatsoever why we should wonder at all the accidents happening this summer. How can you marvel when walking or driving involves exposing your self to manifest danger for life and limb. Students equipped with almost half a brain pop out at the most improbable of places to cross the road. Yesterday I risked a head on collision from behind in order to slow down for two absolute nincompoops who were crossing a dark road on Regional Road at Saint Andrew’s right at the blind corner after the lights at Jessie’s Bar (direction Qawra). If I was not risking a mad bus ramming my rented 107 I would have got out of the car and given them a good beating myself such was the anger they provoked with their nonchalant attitude towards safety.

Students living at the Coastline hotel are waiting for the lights to turn green before crossing. (Green for them not for the cars of course). Which does not mean that an accident will not happen there any time soon. It just takes one hair brained crosser or worse one of those arseholes who think that the coast road is Le Mans revisited and boom you have your “tilef il-kontroll tal-vettura” and “ghal xi raguni ma hix maghrufa” all over again. Bugger to all that. We should reintroduce impaling as a punishment for serious traffic offences.

Valletta & Paceville

The capital is getting nicer and nicer what with all the embellishments and road works. At least they are worth something ad maiorem popoli commoditatem unlike the cacophonic chaos that are the works in the streets of the suburb that never sleeps. Check out my funky snapshots of the city (on my facebook album). I enjoyed taking them with my little Nikon Coolpix. You’ve just gotta love the Public Convenience in Strait Street. I also managed to be in VLT at midday to witness the St George’s Square spitting to music thingy. Water bounced and jumped to Charles Camilleri.

I think I like what they’ve done to the square (whose surface looks like an Olly and Benjy football pitch) but it still will never justify the expenses that were dispensed for the launching concert. It’s benches, lampposts and a couple of water spitters. At least we can console ourselves that urban planners have finally discovered the pleasures of open spaces. Slowly, slowly.

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Guide to Marriage in the Sims (from ask.com)

A gay proposal in The Sims (yes, it also means happy)

“The Sims” is a fun simulation that gets some parts of life right. We all get cranky if we don’t have enough fun, food, and rest. But when it comes to marriage, the game is very different.

Steps to Getting Married
Friendship is a requirement for Sims to get married. They have to have a relationship score of 70. Then it is safe to turn on the heat, by lots of kissing and hugging. The proposal action becomes available once the relationship score is met. In order for a proposal to be accepted, the potential spouse needs to be in a good mood. They can easily refuse the proposal just because they aren’t hungry or need to empty their bladder. Once you are sure they are in a good mood, then propose. But even then, nothing is guaranteed.
The Wedding

When the proposal is accepted the Sims will immediately have a wedding. They change into wedding clothes and that’s it!

After the Wedding
The visiting sim will move into the home adding their assets to the bank account. The last name of the Sim moving in is changed. Children of the new spouse will move in as well, except if there is another adult at the original home.

Divorce? New Spouse?
Once married, that’s it! No divorce for Sims. They can, however, marry other Sims. Each Sim can have multiple spouses. A male Sim could have 7 other wives living with him, as long as he proposed to each in his own home.

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Arts

Aleateia's "Loss"

It’s on next 25th and 26th July at Saint James’ Cavalier Theatre at 9pm. Both the producer (Simon Bartolo) and the actress (Antonella Axisa) are ex-Luxembourg residents (so it must be good). Scoot over to the Cavalier and make sure you don’t miss out on Aleateia’s latest gig. I’m tempted to say it’d be your loss but the pun is so weak you could beat it down with a goose’s feather.

Poster attached can be clicked upon for details (and a bonus photo of Antonella looking like a kid who just rummaged through mummy’s clothing).

LOSS---FINAL-WEB