Author: Jacques René Zammit

This article and accompanying Bertoon appeared on today’s edition of the Malta Independent on Sunday.

I hate number crunching. Statistics have never been my forte and although I did enjoy a period of mathematical bliss during the dreaded ‘Ordinary Level’ stage, it had more to do with the aesthetic perfection of geometry than the mesmerising incomprehensibility of algebra. Enter the logarithm exit brain. As Xs and Ys appeared conspiratorially in the formulaic world where balancing the equation was the ultimate mantra, my mind took refuge in the magical certainty of Euclidian geometry.

The beauty of Euclid’s presentation of geometrical rules is the way the Greek Geometrical Geek came up with a progressive set of axioms that built upon each other proving ever more impossible theorems right. The obviousness of certain basics is what made the geometry beautifully magical. Take the simple description of a straight line as being “the shortest distance between any two given points”. Beautifully simple. Majestically enlightening. All in one go. There’s much more to Euclid than straight lines and studies of shapes and space. There’s logic and the astounding method of proof by contradiction.

Of course in a world of Wi-Fi connections, googling and iPhone applications, we are lazily spared the explanations behind horribly complicated calculations that would in an earlier time have been inculcated within our spirit through the tried and tested method of repetition. There’s not much to worry about if we have all these gadgets to do most daily workings for our lazy cerebellums. What we really should be worrying about is that by discarding the learning process of understanding what lies beneath we also ignore some basic tenets of logical reasoning. We ignore that every assertion must be backed by logical steps and presumably by equally postulate proofs. 

In the mathematical and statistical world there is Google. In the fantastical world of promises and worldly facts we are lazily succumbing to the word of the politician. We don’t question Google or Wikipedia about how it got certain facts or how it reached that conclusion… why should we question Simon Busuttil, Kyril Micallef Stafrace or Arnold Cassola to name but three of our aspirant MEPs?

It’s as illogical leap as you can get but that is the price you pay for numbing the brain to no end with the comfort of gadgetry. A messy political class used to relying on marketing and propaganda rather than values and argument does not help one iota to make things any better, and sadly that means that the selection of candidates for the Euro-Parliamentary Buffet that is due in June is about as appetising as spare ribs from a mad cow boiled in brine.

The tremendous news comes straight out of the US of A. Being a blogger is no longer a hobby. The statistics are astounding but it seems that there are more people making their living out of blogging than there are barmen, firemen or programmers in the land of hope and opportunity. I read this news first on La Stampa.it though it was originally reported on the Wall Street Journal. 

Comparing Job Numbers in America

Lawyers	555,770
Bloggers	452,000
Computer Programmers	394,710
CEOs	299,160
Firefighters	289,710

Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics

Blogging as a profession has overtaken computer programmers and is hot on the heels of the beloved profession. The description of the average “blogger for a living” makes for interesting reading:

“Demographically, bloggers are extremely well educated: three out of every four are college graduates. Most are white males reporting above-average incomes. One out of three young people reports blogging, but bloggers who do it for a living successfully are 2% of bloggers overall. It takes about 100,000 unique visitors a month to generate an income of $75,000 a year. Bloggers can get$75 to $200 for a good post, and some even serve as “spokesbloggers” — paid by advertisers toblog about products. As a job with zero commuting, blogging could be one of the most environmentally friendly jobs around — but it can also be quite profitable. For sites at the top, the returns can be substantial. At some point the value of the Huffington Post will no doubt pass the value of the Washington Post.”

As the Maltese blogosphere continues to give signs of shifting and upheaval (J’accuse’s list of reference blogs in Malta is badly in need of an update) it seems that elsewhere the science of blogging has established a new profession. Now that J’accuse’s dark cloud of technological incommunicado seems to be finally over we hoe to re-establish ourselves as the point of reference in Maltese blogging. Meanwhile remember… what you see comes to you for free… which does explain the occasional gap in continuity.

These are the times of high levels of immigration and low levels of tolerance. They are the times that inherited the straight-jacket rhetoric of the politically correct. They are times of neutered political debate due to reverence to populistic positions and knee-jerk reactions.

Somehow you get the feeling that these are not times that could produce a historic document like the Magna Carta, the Declaration on the Rights of Man or the Charter on Fundamental Human Rights.

Barack Obama has just published the legal advice given to George Dubya to justify appalling interrogation techniques. Obama called for “reflection, not retribution” thus enraging both the right and the left. He does not seem to want to take any action against the perpetrators of the evils that contributed no small amount to giving the States a bad name. There’s something funny about these parties who fight to gain power in the name of justice then just let justice slip through their fingers once they are sitting on the throne. Do the words S.A.G. spring to mind?

Obama’s government was not present in the Durban revision talks – known as Durban II. Don’t let the name fool you. Durban II is actually being held at the UN HQ in Geneva, Switzerland. Eight years after Durban I, the UN returned to the prickly subject of attempting a global definition of racism. It did not get off to a good start – what with the US and Canada (Funny how Canada almost always springs up when a list of misfits is needed – South Park where are you?), among others boycotting the procedure(1).

The procedure/debate is rendered rather difficult by the constant attempts by certain countries to define racism in terms of “Zionist Israel”. Well, not exactly in those terms but you get the jist. Enter Iranian Supremo (or second supremo if you’re of the Ayatollah bent) Mr Ahmadinejad and we get yesterday’s speech about how Zionist Israel is still performing acts of racism on the aboriginals of the strip of land that different deities seem to have promised to different peoples at different times.

The “different deities” bit is a wanton phrase of irony here. You see whenever the big faiths get together they often rush to speak of the One God common to all. For a moment we are all sons of Abraham, Yeshua or Mohamed but once the niceties are over and political expediency requires the battleover the land promised to men via burning bushes, black stones or simply out of revernce for remembrance of Roman torture proceedings then we revert to treating each other like the sons of bitches that we all really are.

This has nothing to do with the walkout at Ahmadinejad’s speech in Geneva of course. It did have it’s positives – like uniting Europe’s feet as the representatives of the EU countries quit the room while Ahmadinejad ranted on against Zion and the Gideonites. Ahmadinejad got what he wanted once again – the world’s attention on the Palestinian issue. It’s a pity because for a while we could have gone along with his efforts to bring nuclear energy to the nation with one of the greatest historical heritages in the world. The pity is not that Ahmadinejad wants to discuss the issue but the way in which he ignored Obama’s extended hand to participate as an equal player on the world scene and chose this petty mode of confrontation.

Poor Ahmadinejad started his speech speaking of the Sons of Abraham and ended up ranting about the sons of bitches in so many terms. That, in essence, became the marking point of Durban II. Whatever Ban-Ki Moon will say will never eclipse Ahmadinejad’s clumsy moment in the spotlight.

(1) The US, Israel, Canada, Australia, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands, Poland and New Zealand had all boycotted the conference being held in Geneva, in protest at Mr Ahmadinejad’s appearance.

J’accuse has been severely handicapped by an obtuse former monopoly and its incompetent set of technicians (barring a certain Frederic who should be awarded a medal of honour for his attempts at providing a normal service from within a company of idiots). Anyways, this has meant that I am only just about getting up to date with the news and had missed the whole diplomatic confrontation between Malta and Italy over the 150 or so immigrants rescued from certain doom.

I tend to hold the same opinion as the Corriere della Sera correspondent (Giovanni Bianconi) who stated:

Alla fine ha prevalso la volontà di tendere una mano a quei migranti in cerca di futuro, e quando avranno toccato terra ci sarà il tempo per riprendere le discussioni tra governi e ambasciatori su chi aveva il dovere di intervenire. Una volontà che magari poteva affiorare prima, senza arrivare alle condizioni – allarmanti, tragiche o disperate, a seconda delle diverse fonti – in cui versavano i profughi raccolti dalla nave turca. E senza l’immagine un po’ imbarazzante di ministri che si rimbalzavano le responsabilità tra Roma e La Valletta, mentre quei corpi ammassati in coperta aspettavano in mezzo al mare.

Di questi tempi le politiche dell’immigrazione sono complicate, ma puntare i piedi davanti a uomini, donne e bambini che chiedono aiuto non è un bello spettacolo. Meglio cercare soluzioni e accordi prima che si verifichino situazioni come quelle della Pinar, e se al dunque si rivelano inadeguati prima si affronti l’emergenza e poi si torni a discutere di competenze e acque territoriali. Solo con le vite messe in salvo, però, anche se sono «clandestine».

Human lives first, diplomacy and politics later. Which is not to say that once the human lives have been brought in to safety we should not be examining who was at fault. My cursory view of what has been going on leads me to point an accusatory finger to Minister Maroni of Lega Nord fame. In fact, barring his usual somersaults in order to denigrate (or deverdate) the Greens involvement in the whole matter, I tend to agree with Fausto’s assessment of the absolute incompetence, crass populistic approach with which the Ministro dei Marroni went about dealing with this issue.

While hoping that the internet connection at 22 rue de bragance will soon be repristinated we apologise for any withdrawal symptoms you may be feeling.

“Otium cum dignitate”, that is how Cicero advised the honest person to live. The word “otium” is not really translatable and is often wrongly interpreted as the “dolcefarniente” of Mediterranean fame. Rather than a life of idleness, Cicero (I am constantly fascinated by the fact that this great man’s name is Latin for “Chick Pea”) was advising an ensemble of non-political and non-remunerable activities that allow for the “humanistic” development of an individual.
 
In other words, Cicero advised that a vir bonus (good man) should dedicate himself to study, writing, intimate and erudite conversation, meditation, finding time for family and friends, and of course some time in the countryside. Together with “otium”, Cicero also recommended a strong dose of “dignitas” which was very important to people of his time. Everything was to be done with a sense of measure and moderation. It’s a lovely philosophy of living to try to pursue especially when put in the context of today’s hustle and bustle.
 
My quest for “otium cum dignitate” has been strongly sabotaged by a hopelessly bad karma with all things mechanical and techonological this week. I should have noticed it was coming way back at the beginning of the month when all the means of payment on which my materialistic existence depends started to go berserk. Demagnetised magnetic strips, disfunctioning chips and forgotten payments all led to the horrible nightmare of relying on cash for long periods of time. Do you know what it is like to have all your cards disactivated?
 
I had forgotten what it meant to have to go to a bank branch and withdraw money for any possible eventuality like filling up the gas tank since being caught without cash once the bank closed meant you would be moneyless till the next opening hour. It was the complaint of a spoilt and pampered 21st century brat. Suddenly online subscriptions no longer accepted my orders: the worst offender being iTunes and the accompanying store.
 
Incommunicado
It was almost ok. I thought I would survive until the first card would arrive by mail but then came the moment every netophile dreads. Somewhere, somehow the Gods of Binary Calculus and the Devils of Ethernet communication got together and organised one hell of a trap for your dear columnist. One minute my home network was performing its faithful duty creating a bridge between my livingroom and the world of information in hyperspace, the next minute all systems were down, lights were a-flashing on the modem, internet was a-blocking away from the pc and Jacques was a-swearing a chain of incomprehensible jûrons.
 
I am subscribed to a mastodontic company that has inherited the former cable tv monopoly (Coditel S.A.) and formed a snazzily advertised service called Numericable S.A. The main company is in Belgium and the Luxembourg philiale is a little office in a busy street that has simply branched off from the Belgian network and supposedly provides an equally efficient service. It does offer a mindblowing package of unlimited high speed internet, unlimited free international phone calls and a mediocre jamboree of cable tv channels.
 
Needless to say I had switched to this service mainly for the part of the package involving the free phone calls back home. I had had no reason to complain for any part of the package until now. As I said, this company has inherited its customer service from a former monopoly… that means that all the perks of a company with no-competitors still exist. The bottom line is that the phrase “customer satisfaction” is absent from its dictionary. It is not just that: you have to face the fact that the company’s phoneline technicians have the absolute right to treat you like an imbecile (only during office hours).
 
The first solution proferred for my internet dilemma was to swtich off the modem and leave it off for an hour. Now this remedy seemed to me just one step below the infallible CTRL-ALT-DEL system of restarting the computer (“Have you tried switching it off and on again” – the catchphrase from “The I.T. Crowd” comedy series in the UK… watch it). Why in hell should a modem work better simply because it was switched off and on again is beyond me. Maybe the little elves converting electrical pulses to binary figures need a rest?
 
The more plausible reason I thought of was that it was 17.00 hrs on a Friday and within one hour the whole I.T. help service would go incommunicado until Tuesday (Monday was a Bank Holiday). The sly technician was simply getting rid of me since when I would switch on the modem at 1800 hrs there would be no one to complain to. I duly pointed this anomaly out to the technician who simply said that it is “procedure”.
 
 
It’s the internet, stupid
I will not bore you with the minutae of my telephonic correspondence with Numericable over the last two weeks. It should suffice to point out that there nerve at proposing ludicrous reasons to blame you or your pc rather than their system knows no bounds. I have three computers, an iPhone and a PS3 all receiving internet from the same network at any given point in time. All five apparata could no longer have access to internet since the fault. They can find a wi-fi signal but no internet. Numericable believes that since they can “ping” my modem there is nothing they can do on their part. I strongly believe that I will not rest until I have the facility of pinging with a large hammer on the head every employee who has spoken to me over the phone or counter.
 
I took my laptop and my modem to their offices. They actually had the nerve to blame my computer and settings after the whole setup of laptop and modem worked at their offices! The word logic has no place in their thinking. I can only bang my head against the wall in frustration and pray that some twisted illogical reason finally gets them to send the damn technician to my house where he is sorely needed. April with no internet has been no joke. My iPhone is dying for an update which I can only do on my iTunes on my computer. I have withdrawal symptoms from online shopping and other side effects of the technological poltergeist require further purchases online. I’m sorry, but as you can see J’accuse without an internet connection is a complete wreck. No otium, no dignitas. And two fingers pointed in the direction of the Route d’Arlon where Numericable’s offices of doom are sited.
 
Transcending
it’s ironic that much of my quibble with the employees with Numericable was the result of the infamous “procedure”. Basically you are made to go through some basic steps intended to filter out the technologically challenged who would be wasting much of the technicians time with “problems” such as wrongly stuck cables or not having powered the modem in the first place. My struggle was a long and hard one using technical terms in my third language (French). In moments like these you are made to feel powerless… the insignificant human being who is forced to follow the rules stipulated by others.
 
I witnessed other fellow human beings on the receiving end of the Numericable treatment. Another man in the same predicament as mine with a non-functioning modem. A couple who had had their service cut off without warning formed a very sad picture. Incredibly the Numericable service of cutting off your service is ultra-efficient – they actually cut off the service BEFORE the warning letter was in the post. They will not reactivate with the same speed of course – especially not before you pay the reactivation fee and the fees for the reminder letter which has not yet left their offices.
 
This lack of control over your destiny and that of your consumables is frustrating when you are bang in the middle of it and only becomes a funny anecdote once all your appliances are working. In Malta you could always rely on a friend in the company or at worst on a common  language by both customer and company. It does not help when an angry Gozitan is arguing with an obtuse Portuguese deskmanager in the language of Napoleon. Belive me there is no dignitas there and you can only succeed in scaring a whole waiting room when an obscene Maltese word slips into the conversation.
 
Normal Citizens
Normal citizens in normal democracies tend to vote every now and then in order to elect their representatives. Take India or Malaysia for example… millions of people vote in these democratic behemoths – each and every one of them exercising a basic right. In our case we are not obliged to vote but we do tend to go out in hordes. Labour and PN have long played around with voting rights and mechanisms as part of the great chess game of governmental alternation. From gerrymandering of electoral borders to lawsuits challenging an individual’s right to vote the two parties who have long erected a numerus clausus around parliament have deemed it right to move the goalposts of the game as best fits them.
 
It’s not a conscious conspiracy. I do not imagine PBO and JM meeting in some dark room conspiring the maintenance of the status quo over coffee and biscuits. The dualistic thinking engendered into the minds of the population is constantly reaffirmed and reinforced by PLPN. They like thinking in that way because there is less of a challenge to their permanence in the universe of alternation. This is also why we, as citizens, accept impractical solutions for voting. A case in point is this new Bill allowing citizens who will be absent from the island on election day to vote earlier.
 
Great. Once again no mention of voting in embassies for Maltese working abroad has been made. The criterion of 6 months in 18 prior to the election is still waved around voters’ heads like some Damocles’ sword. Ever since the informal Entente Cordiale when PLPN agreed not to challenge any of the rights of workers in Brussels and Luxembourg, Maltese residing abroad have been in a sort of legal limbo. Technically we might still have to test the waters of the 6 months residence clause. Technically though… in the meantime PLPN are busy arranging for a special Air Malta flight to ship voters en masse to the island (presumably while sending a list of people on board to their respective HQs pace Alfred Sant).
 
Rather than take the reasonable step of setting up ballot boxes in Luxembourg and Brussels the Big Two prefer to spend your money organising a charter. Incidentally voters still pay for this flight though at a reduced price. Already some voices are protesting. Can we guarantee that those who avail themselves of the flight will vote? Let me answer them. No you cannot. No you will not. So long as PLPN choose to opt for this farce of a flight rather than the more practical ballot box then citizens living in Luxembourg or Brussels will make use of it for a quick visit back home. Whether they will actually vote while visiting is nobody’s business except their own. Harsh as it may be, we must also accept that the foundations of this cruel truth lie in the twisted reasoning of those who pass bills for sporting contingents but fail to see the practicality of two ballot boxes in Luxembourg and Brussels.
 
Limelight
The simple citizen does not crave the limelight too often. In this day and age it is becoming even more difficult to lead a life of “otium et dignitas”. Some people take the path of representation seriously and sometimes some idiots go out of their way to show their disagreement with a particular policy they backed. I would like to express my solidarity with Ian Castaldi Paris, the Lija Mayor who I may have criticised many a time on my blog but who deserves all the solidarity and support he can get after the vile cowardly attack on his residence and property.
 
A ranger shot in the head, a Mayor’s residence subject to an arson attack. Both acts by  cowardly individuals who want to make a point from the dark. Too cowardly to show their face and reason out their objections in the open. One would hope that we can find both the dignity and application to give a clear message to this kind of cowardly, insipid individual. Actions speak louder than words. Meanwhile I wish both the ranger and Ian more fruitful work as they dedicate time in whatever they believe in.
 
Jacques is incommunicado and unable to update http://www.jacquesrenezammit for now. The struggle for internet access goes on… Hasta la DNS Server!
 

This article and accompanying Bertoon appeared in the Malta Independent on Sunday on 19.04.09.