Author: Jacques René Zammit

 
David and Goliath (Who the f**k is Goliath?)

Fellow blogger and regular guest-blogger David Friggieri has been caught in the crossfire in the war of  Astrid “The People” versus Daphne “The Blue Cuschieri”. It seems that David is destined to have quotes from his fine articles pulled slightly out of context (though this time it was closer to the mark). This time round it was Astrid Vella quoting Friggieri in a comment she left on the Times. Out comes Daffers with guns a’blazing shooting left right and centre in the style we have gotten used to by now. Here is the sideshot to DF in one of a blogorrhea of Anti-Astrid posts called (very creatively) “More Bollocks from Astrid“:

Here’s Astrid Vella, talking bollocks again on timesofmalta.com, complete with island as a proper noun. I suppose her degree in English was as useful as her diploma in baroque studies. ‘Your party’? Thanks for confirming that you’re anti-Nationalist, Astrid. Not that we needed telling, given your antics.

And David Friggieri? Chi e?

Dear, dear. The same DF who engaged Daphne in myriad comments (even on her blog) becomes a victim of circumstance. Having been quoted by her latest arch-enemy he is expediently ditched into the bin of “Who the f**k is David?” Hardly classy and hardly engaging. But then what can you expect… the latest witchhunt seems to warrant this kind of cheap shot. Meanwhile most people read the posts on Running Commentary out of sick curiosity more than real interest… and the question that keeps reverberating in their mind is… “Who the f**k is Daphne?”

Fausto’s Conserve 

One accolyte of Daphne’s did try to shoot a couple of parting shots of his own at J’accuse having been irredeemably irked by the association of those who now take jibes at Jeffrey with blue-eyed hypocrites. The archives further back than June 2008 at Thermidor have conveniently vanished so we cannot retrieve whatever hypotheses Majistral held with regard to Jeffrey’s blue eyed innocence and his promising career as a PN politician once the elections were over. Majistral is therefore more comfortable dressing up in the guise of a latter day Lorna Vassallo and speaks of “Kunserva tat-Three Hills”  instead of Gozo Cheese. Little difference, not just in accusation but also in substance.

Here’s Fausto talking about J’accuse:

As anyone who has been following his blog for some time knows the man has only very few opinions about anything.

I’m sorry, I haven’t a clue what this guy is on about. Fausto comes up with a (feignedly) ignorant analysis of how I apply the “meme” to the JPO circumstance. Of course I never could have predicted JPO going out on a limb on immigration. What I did insist and still do insist is that our current form of politics forces the political parties to back horses they have absolutely nothing in common with. The only problem is that every vote counts and when you are desperate to achieve a relative majority of a thousand and a half vote every vote helps…. a bit like a contract with the devil. It’s not like Joe Saliba did not say it himself, but then again Fausto prefers the argumentum ad hominem than trying to wriggle out of the uncomfortable scenario of admitting that the meme fits perfectly well.

Conserve indeed. Of the blinkered kind.

The J’accuse Personality of the Year (2008) rides on unabashed and is poised to continue grabbing the limelight well into 2009. We thought we had seen the back of him shortly after his crocodile tears stunt that was well capitalised upon by the Nationalist pragmatists but he got re-elected by the people (thank you Joe Saliba) and is now a right royal pain in the arse to the PN government.

Of course Pullicino Orlando cannot be blamed for doing what he does best and sniffing the winds of favour as best he can in order to survive in the political game. The man’s involvement in a series of headline grabbing events since the Alfred-Sant-chasing days at Mistra is incredible. We may all be forgiven therefore if we focus our anger at the class of politicians that we get onto the Rt. Hon. Member with Economic Interests in Mistra Valley.

We should be seeing things from a slightly different perspective of course. Now that JPO has become an embarassement for pundits with a blue slant and even crops up as a subject of ridicule in their blogs and articles we might need to focus on who gave us the JPO phenomenon in the first place.

You see many people voted JPO and his party into parliament in order to keep Sant and his merry band from having a (relative) majority of votes that would translate in more bums on seats in the House. Many people were persuaded that voting on the basis of principle was not the “in thing” to do and that they should best behave like a mass of mature voters by voting the only choice possible. The only feasible choice once we took int0 account the Wasted Vote formula perfectly devised in parliament beacame a hodge-podge party of liberals and conservatives, environmentalists and liars with about as much of a cunning plan as Blackadder’s Baldrick.

Those same people who were busy threatening anyone intent on voting for anyone other than JPO’s Party now feel at ease with the fact that the concept of representation as we know it has been thrown out of the window. Cabinet makes decisions. The executive executes. And parliament? Well parliament was convenient to work out that magic formula of representation (read relative majority gets to choose who sits in Castille). Once that uncomfortable and nail-biting situation was solved… well…. parliament became an inconvenient encumbrance on the rule by edict direct from Castille.

JPO had served his purpose. People like JPO, Arrigo and more are useful to rope in the numbers. Same goes for the principled policies that vary from conservative to liberal depending on the target audience. It’s not funny. it’s sad. Especially when you know that you have an opposition that is just as willing to emulate this opportunistic win-all formula.

Representation as we know it has been thrown to the dogs. The next time you find JPO’s contradictory statements funny don’t laugh at the poor man. He’s only playing the survival game in the politics the way PLPN do it. Laugh at yourself… for getting conned into thinking that a vote for “Together everything is possible” meant that your interest and you would be part of the fun and games.

All the rest is Disneyworld.

Insofar as gadgetry and geekery are concerned, this particular post is slightly off the mark. When we kicked off this particular section of J’accuse we were genuinely concerned with understanging the cultural context of the new generation that seems to be developing stronger thumbs thanks to their obsession with <txtmsgng>.

Which is why talking about baggage might seem a little out of the norm until you stop and think for just a little second. Mr O’Leary, a bigwig in Ryanair has started to speak of outpricing luggage on Ryanair. Mr Gates had dreamt of a PC on every desktop (was it Gates? the seventies seem so far away). Now Mr O’Leary dreams of luggage free travel. Which is why Ryanair has started its own crusade against anyone who insists on carrying anything but his own person past check-in.

Presumably we are still far away from travelling nude (although a German airline has already “been there, done that”) but the next closest thing is travelling ultra-light with just your iPod and wallet in your pocket. O’Leary’s Ryanair already slapped exporbitant prices on the first suitcase, additional suitcases, hand-luggage and even wheelchairs. Ryanair will soon try to wean passengers off check-in and check-in desks preferring the internet check in business. Obviously internet check-in is much easier sans bags and suitcase.

There’s no denying that beyond all the bullshit claims of efficient flying, Ryanair’s “bus-in-the-sky” idea is really aimed at cutting costs involving ground staff from check-in attendants to luggage handlers. Hell if they could they’d get robots to fly the darn planes. Ryanair already show a customer-unfriendly aversion to ground staff in general which is why they can get off with claiming that a flight that flies 37 hours late is “delayed”.

But back to Generation Why. The norm of travelling with some form of suitcase is being challenged. Some experimental online sites even offer a packed bag at your next destination. As with most such experiments it is the rich executives who get to try it out first. We would not be surprised however to see some new marketing campaign with a baggage to fit at your destination – first ones that come to mind are the seaside bags with the bare essentials like trunks, sunglasses and towel with hawaiian shirt and havaianas to boot!

On the other hand we might stop trying to let our imagination run wild and remember that Ryanair is a choice among many. We might speculate that rather than change our travel habits and form a Generation Why of light Travelers, all that Ryanair is doing is pushing away further consumers once they have… to put it in a weak pun… seen the light.

This weekend had approached with the usual nonchalance of an anonymous weekend that does not promise much more than a relaxed Sunday afternoon submerged between the Times Culture supplement, the Mail on Sunday Crossword and the Economist while listening to Radio 5 live on internet radio. What I had not counted on was the fact that I was the only civil servant within the European Court of Justice who was blissfully unaware of the mandatory Monday day off that had been regaled upon us in order to celebrate Carnival. It was thus very late in the day that I booked a four day treat to the Limburg region for LL and myself. We would be basing ourselves in Maastricht – the humid city of the Maas, the shopping and the good Burgundian food.

The Nissan was loaded with the basic quick getaway requirements and before you could say Autoroute du Soleil we had quickly negotiated our way via the Ardennes region of Belgium and into the appendix to the Netherlands that is known as Limburg. I had been lucky enough with my late booking to find a Hotel that goes by the name of the Emperor something or other just outside  the Maastricht Station. The Imperial reference allowed some kitsch artist to decorate the various halls and bedrooms with Goscinny and Underzo-like paintings of Ceasar and friends in pastel colours without the humourous effect. Still… splendid room, easy parking and walking access to town… couldn’t complain.

What we had not foreseen was the fanatic enthusiasm with which the local Maastricht people take on carnival. Imagine Nadur on a much, much larger scale. I mean the Wikipedia entry had mentioned something regarding Maastricht and carnival but I was not prepared for anything of this sort. Leaving the hotel on our first evening we came across early signals of the pleasures yet to come when we did notice that none of the shops were planning to open for the rest of the weekend. Bang went our plans for retail therapy and our moods went that tad bit grumpy when we imagined being stuck in a Valletta like celebration full of floats and coordinated buffoonery that is anything but funny. 

Yet something was in the air… something magic…. some unplanned chaos that was what I had always suspected real carnivals to be about… those carnivals in medieval times when the days of revelry were respected to the letter before the real lenten diet began. There was an electric feeling of anticipation in the air as we returned to our hotel after feasting on an orgy of sushi at a Sushi and Teppanyahki restaurant. We slipped into bed still wondering why the Japanese waiter had seemed so enthusiastic and hopeful about the carnival next day… really… it could not be that good…