Author: Jacques René Zammit

Categories
Campaign 2013

A second republic on transfiguration avenue

Joseph Muscat is doing his damned best to impart a sense of history and gravitas to whatever grandiose plans he wants to unveil to the public. We are half way through the official election campaign (not to mention the fact that we have been in election mode for over 12 months) and the Labour party is calmly approving its election manifesto this evening. Idiots (that’s you the voters) have been told that the reason for this delay is that they could never cope with understanding all the proposals at once. As the idiots grovel at the pedestal of Muscat’s porta-podium he continues to shower a concoction of non-sequiturs replete with the ingredients of flimsy business jargon, spurious historical references (and misinterpretations such as the homosexual liberation of the 70’s) and sweeping populist statements.

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It works. God how it works. The idiots at large (please don’t be offended, I use idiots in the same way Dilbert would) just love it. Now they also have a mantra to repeat while Joseph shoots tautologies at them like there’s no tomorrow. “Uliedna …. Taghna Lkoll”, “Il-Bzulija… Taghna Lkoll”, “Il-Haddiema… Taghna Lkoll”. You’d only wish you had the time and the sort of financing parties get and you could attend one of these meetings with a huge sign – and just when Joseph is getting all het up again in his ill-fitting suit standing on the podium you could lift a board of your own… with just three letters: WTF.

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He’s gone to Lija this morning. At Transfiguration Avenue (how apt) or Belvedere (how not) he linked his next step to the 1919 assemblies of those audacious forefathers of ours busy fighting for self-government and a constitution. You see he had the setting in mind and he needed a grand achievement of the past as a background to make whatever he wanted to say sound as pompously grand. Then he let loose. He spoke of a Second Republic (given this was Transfiguration Avenue it’s a surprise it was not a second coming). He was giving us his own idea of a metamorphosis. He’s obliterated Labour and it’s history (which was not a bad idea if you needed to change it) but has given us this new “movement” that is all emptiness and nothing. It’s only redeeming factor for most idiots (that’s us again) is that by voting for this mess we will get rid of the other mess that has been in government “too long” as they say.

What was this second republic? He wants a Convention so that people other than politicians could take part in drafting what will probably be a Kostituzzjoni Taghna Lkoll. Given his party’s track record on piecing together a recognisable plan or document I should be forgiven if I don’t hold my breath. Joseph must have been inspired by the EU’s Constitutional Convention which met around the time he was rabidly and vociferously explaining to all why the EU was nothing less than the result of an infelix coniunctio of the spawn of satan. Now he claims that he wants a Convention to make the Constitution a European (not post-colonial) constitution.

The pillars of the second republic? Electoral reform – this from the party that has contrived (together with the bunch of macchiavellian populists across the parliament floor)  to engage in all forms of filibustering techniques à-la-maltaise to block any form of sensible change: from electoral reform to party financing. And if you believe the electoral calls for this kind of laws then I’m sorry you qualify for Prime Idiot (that’s a new award here at J’accuse).

Next pillar: neutrality. Labour is still struggling with this one. It’s all the heritage of Mintoff’s dearest insistence. We have found ways to go around it though there would be no harm in redefining this obsolete clause – not exactly Second Republic groundbreaking material.

Then Joseph went all Orwellian. He probably sat up watching the sad show that was Bondi+ yesterday and when for the umpteenth time Lou could not hide his blatant partiality Joseph must have done what he always does: Spontaneous Bullshit Idea Generation. I know what we’ll do…. we’ll push for more regulation and entrench it in the constitution. The new constitution will strengthen the Broadcasting Authority by making it responsible for ALL media. We’ll then get the phenomenal rules inspired by idiot numbing exercises applied across the board.

That’s his Second Republic then. Cosmetic touch ups of electoral reform, a little tweaking of the neutrality clause and of course back to an Orwellian nightmare tightening controls  on freedom of expression. But so long as it is government by the idiot-elected, for the idiot-electors then it should be ok.

What Joseph Muscat’s sad intervention on Transfiguration Avenue ignored is that in order for our nation to really enter a Second Republic what is really needed is a tabula rasa – the stranglehold of the PL and PN on politics and how we do it must be broken. The prelude to a second republic would be the dismantling of the two parties or the breaking of the bipartisan mold with the election of a more representative democracy.

In our dreams. Il-Holma Taghna Lkoll.

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Categories
Campaign 2013

Funding Fundamentals

For my sins and for want of anything better to do in this snowstorm ridden evening I watched tonight’s edition of Bondi+. It’s been harder than usual getting down to write posts at the usual pace . There’s something about this campaign that is mind-numbing and I think that it is a combination of campaign fatigue and the shock of being constantly barraged with quips and propaganda that insult the average man’s intelligence.

I don’t know what Beppe (Fenech Adami) and Chris (Cardona) were supposed to be talking about and I suspect that Lou Bondi more than half hoped that the programme would be juicily concentrated on that new Nationalist protege and star Anglu Farrugia. Poor Anglu cannot help still being a political football and his repartees at Joseph Muscat have provided new fodder to the cliche-ridden PN campaign insofar as jibes at the Labour camp are concerned. What the two (and later three with the arrival of Arnold) did end up talking about was party financing and the links that each party has to big business.

Idiots – that’s you the voters – are supposed to be carefully measuring the different proofs of liaisons that each party has with big business and throwing onto their homemade scales the various calculations as to who spent how much and where the money has come. Idiots (that’s still you) will then be expected to vote for the lesser evil. That, I guess (but I’m no idiot myself), will be the one with less ties to business and less I.O.U.’s hanging around in the pockets of various contractors and other men who can practically foot a blank cheque in times of need.

You do have to be an idiot though not to see past the protestations of both parties. On the one hand you have the ridiculous nationalist party “barter” concept. You see, the PN barters with companies like MFCC and in return for the use of their tents it gives them…. erm… See I’m stuck there. What the hell could the PN be offering to barter? It’s not like air time on its debt-ridden stations is free? Allocating a million euros of air time (in exchange for a tent) would mean perforce that that air time is lost from other who might have actually paid for the service.  Cardona also presented Beppe with a court case – Europrint vs MediaLink. Now that’s sweet. MediaLink owes Europrint half a million. Where will they get that from?

Labour on the other hand also have a hunch that we are all idiots. Their campaign CANNOT have been funded by the telethons. Igloos don’t grow on  trees Chris and you can have many many volunteers with ideas that you think are great but you cannot barter ideas for material in much the same way that Borg Olivier is not bartering ideas for tents. And while we are at it enough with this bullshit about the parties publishing their accounts. First of all Labour walked out of the committee for democratic reform that not only put an end to the hope of electoral reform but also to any issue on party financing.

If you really believe that either the PL or PN will ever actually enact a law that shoots both of them in the foot then you are a prime idiot. Lawrence Gonzi was unable to answer questions about Paul Borg Olivier’s barter methods – it might after all be a trade secret you know. Labour has been known to hide behind sensitive commercial interests too. As for publishing expense accounts – how about we don’t wait till the end of this election and simply ask the PN to publish the expenses of each candidate for the European Parliament elections. They actually swore about that on oath you know…. and some candidates went on record about how ridiculous the whole business was (was it Georg Sapiano? – it’s a genuine query).

Which brings me to the matter that Arnold Cassola brought up. We had been regaled with a crossfire of bull between exponents of the two parties and an impartial show host then Arnold asked a simple question about something they could not really wriggle out of with lies. He asked a question about our money. My money. Your money. Everybody’s money. Taghna Lkoll as some would fart out robotically. He asked how the whole parliament – that’s 67 members from both sides –  unanimously approved a land concession to Nazzareno Vassallo’s MFCC while removing a guarantee clause that amounted to over one million euro. That’s your money. My money. Everybody’s money.

They voted it away. Vanished it. To help a businessman. They are the parties who either barter or spend their way to kingdom come safe in the knowledge that they cannot be caught by the laws they refuse to write. Safe in the knowledge that they will be back whether in government or in opposition.

Why will they be back? Because they count on a bunch of idiots voting them into parliament after having paid their bills to get in there.

Reap. Sow. As the hilarious Times headline went – PL/PN to give the people what they deserve. (I added PN for par condicio).

Categories
Campaign 2013

Mistura

Jista’ jkun li l-qasam tas-satira fil-politika Maltija ħa spinta kbira waqt din l-elezzjoni. Li ma tantx naraw (jew aħjar nisimgħu) f’Malta huwa kummentarju ta’ tip ieħor li jmur lil hinn minn dak tal-kummentarji professjonali u/jew amatorjali. Qed nirreferi għall-influwenza dgħajfa tal-media mużikali bħala għodda ta’ riflessjoni. Il-mużika tintuża iva bi skop politiku biżżejjed insemmu l-aħħar kummiedja medjatika tal-PN li ħarġu bl-idea tal-karaoke tal-innu elettorali. Kull sena ukoll ikollna il-Festival tal-Indipendenza li diffiċli tieħu bis-serjeta u nimmaġina li hemm xi ekwivalenti Laburista ukoll.

Pero il-kantawtur – dak li jaqta’ feles mill-immaġni popolari u jdawwarha f’rima u mużika li taf tagħti immaġni daqs l-aqwa poster satiriku – jekk mhux iktar – huwa kważi assenti mix-xena mużikali Maltija. Diffiċli li tqiegħed ix-xogħolijiet ta’ Joe Demicoli fl-istess keffa għax jekk xejn huwa komiku u anki slapstick. Kellna il-one hit wonder ta’ Bundy li madanakollu kien laqat il-likk. Xi gruppi oħra li f’mumenti iktar kwieti tawna kliem u mużika miżgħuda b’temi soċjali forsi ma jħossux l-urġenza tal-kontribut immedjat.

Sieħbi Antonio Olivari ġibidli l-attenzjoni għal din il-biċċa mużika tal-grupp Mistura. Nieħu pjaċir noffri lil J’accuse bħala pjattaforma oħra biex tixxandar din it-tip ta’ mużika. Nittama li jkolli okkażjoni nagħmel hekk għal oħrajn ukoll. Inħalli lilkom tgħarblu l-kontenut.

 

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Campaign 2013 Mediawatch

They promise the earth

The short man from Milan is back. His political campaign has begun (as always) on the football field with the return of the prodigal son Mario Balotelli to the Milanese fold (sponda rossonera). Berlusconi hit the headlines in Italy today with his promises of major tax cuts and institutional reforms. It should all sound familiar by now – in Italy it is the restitution of an alphabet soup of taxes from the IRAP to the IMU – and of course given the lack of popularity of politicians Silvio is also banking on promises such as halving the size of parliament and the removal of public financing of parties.

His opponents (and former allies) did not waste time in replying. There’s a huge familiarity in that too: Berlusconi promises much but never delivers is the most prominent of them all. Even Casini who had shacked up with Berlusconi for quite some time pointed an accusing finger at Berlusconi’s track record. The Cavaliere is knee dip in the populistic approach and don’t forget he is the man who reinvented political marketing in Italy. His is also an attack on the caretaker Monti government. Guess what? He claims that Monti betrayed the people and did not fulfil its duties of democratic representation.

Outspoken Nichi Vendola best described Berlusoni’s latest sortie: “Sembra Wanna Marchi” – comparing the ex-premier to a notorious fraudster who had built an empire selling rubbish on the tv. In Malta we had Mike Briguglio describing the local scene as “An electoral supermarket”… not too far off the Wanna Marchi mark.

Berlusconi built his empire starting off from the property business. In his case HE is the contractor. Will his promises be enough to win the trust of enough voters? Will the fish bite?

Wanna Marchi was condemned for 9 years and 4 months in prison – her biggest mistake was not becoming a politician. With the kind of talents that she had you never know how far she could have got.

Categories
Campaign 2013

Jeħduh f’sormhom

Forsi din ma hix espressioni li l-grupp tal-facebook Kelma Kelma se jittratta b’daqstant faċilita. Mhux għax ma ħaqqhiex. Anzi. Naħseb li tikkwalifika sew bħala espressjoni mill-iprem fl-użu kurrenti tal-poplu Malti. In-natura ipokrita tal-Malti (il-bniedem mhux l-ilsien, jaħasra) ma tippermettix pero li titkellem dwar il-kurrenti u l-magħruf jekk il-kurrenti u l-magħruf huwa – kif isejħulu is-soċjologi – taboo. U s-sorm, kif kullħadd jaf, diġa huwa taboo minnu – aħseb u ara l-espressjoni li timplika teħid ta’ oġġetti mhux neċesarjament speċifikati fil-warrani.

F’kampanja elettorali bħal ma hi din is-sorm jispikka b’mod ubikwu mingħajr qatt ma jissemma. Filwaqt li fuq il-mezzi tax-xandir jagħmlu l-għolmu tagħhom biex jagħtu xejra ta’ diċenza u (għaliex le) serjeta professjonali f’kull dibattitu mimli retorika propagandistika, huwa fl-analiżi odjerna li ssir għand tal-grocer (kif xtaq Simon) li joħroġ veru l-ispirtu razzjonali tal-votant Malti u jissemma bil-bosta s-sorm (kif forsi ma xtaqx Simon).

“Smajtu lit-tali ilbieraħ? Ma felaħx jitkellem iktar minn sormu”. Kliem espliċitu, vera, imma indikazzjoni ċara tal-andament tal-affarijiet. L-apprezzament jaf ikun partiġġjan u jaf ikun diżilluż pero is-sorm hemm jibqa’. Tista’ ukoll taqa fir-redikolu venjali – l-isplapstick tas-satira – u tgħid li bilfors dak il-kliem kollu dwar il-gass minn x’imkien kellu joħroġ.

“Kemm se jdumu jeħduħ f’sormhom (bija – suġġettiv, bina – ġeneriku)?” Il-bżar fl-għajnejn, it-tlellix u x-xinxilli, iċ-ċejċa, il-propaganda u l-ispinn. Din l-espressjoni hija l-oażi ta’ rifuġju għal min xebgħa sal-ponta ta’ imnieħru bir-retorika antika, bil-wiegħdiet foloz u bir-riżma insulti għall intelliġenza. L-irkant tal-wiegħdiet forsi jaf jingħata post speċjali fil-mezzi tax-xandir – taf int, għal għajn in-nies – imma fil-privat il-proxxmu jiżżarma minn kull ewfemiżmu inutli u jfaqqa’ verżjoni mundana ta’ “Kemm se jdumu jeħduh f’għajnhom”.

Għax iva. L-għajn hija ewfemiżmu ukoll u tfakkar wisq fl-għajn bħala fonti jew sors li f’dal każ jissarraf biss f’sors ta’ inutilta … l-anti-google. Bħal meta tisma’, biex nagħti eżempju konkret, dik il-gidba dwar “id-dekriminalizzazzjoni tal-omosesswalita“. Ma nafx int imma demmi jibda jbqabaq. Bħal dak li qallhom kien krimini qabel l-1974 li tkun omosesswali. Mhux vera. Qed jieħduh f’sormhom bik meta jgħidulek hekk.

Il-krimini kien li proprja tieħdu f’sormok. Litteralment. U li tagħtih ukoll. L-orjentazzjoni sesswali kienet irrilevanti f’għajnejn il-leġiżlatur. Kien biss l-att – magħruf teknikament bħala sodomija – li kien illegali. Biex niftehmu sas-74 il-pufti (kif kellhom tendenza kerha isejħu lill-omosesswali dak iż-żmien) setgħu ikunu pufti kemm iridu. Li ma setgħux jagħmlu  kien l-att as-sodomoija. U mhux huma biss – għax teknikament jekk kont tinqabad fl-att ma kienx se joqgħod jistaqsi jekk intix pufta jew le. Ftakar li il-fetiċċju li tieħdu f’sormok jaf ma kienx limitat għall-irġiel biss. U le il-ktieb ma jismux “50 Shades of Gay“.

Illum għal grazzja kbira m’għadniex nużaw it-terminu pufta avolja li għal żmien twil wara’ kienu l-istess psewdo-liberali ta’ nofs is-sebgħinijiet li baqgħu jużawha bħala insult – insult li jsib il-benniena tiegħu fil-biża u fl-injuranza. Pero ftakar. Meta jgħidulek li iddekriminalizzaw l-omosesswalita ma jkunu qed jagħmlu xejn ħlief jeħduh f’sormhom. Bik. Għax issa legali hux.

Ħabib tiegħi jirrakkonta storja li taf tkun apokrifa dwar Duminku Mintoff. Meta kien ikun irrabjat b’xi problema kien jgħid “Min se jiġi ineħħili dan iż-ż* minn sormi u jsibli sorm ieħor fejn nitfgħu?” Inkredibbli. Mhux talli l-lingwaġġ huwa popolari u ġenwin iżda huwa anki rikonoxximent tal-irwol importanti tal-warrani fejn jidħlu problemi u soluzzjonijiet. Jispikka ukoll l-altruwiżmu ta’ Dear Dom li ma kienx se jħalli xi ż* jiġri mas-saqajn.

“Naħseb kien b’sormha meta ħareġ biha”. Għax il-kelma għandha mitt użu u l-għodda t-tajba tiswa mitqla deheb f’idejn l-imgħallem. B’sormha… għal darb’ oħra insibu ġustifikazzjoni għan-nuqqas ta’ sens. Għax jekk mhux qed jeħduh f’sormhom bik bi ħsieb allura forsi qed jiżbaljaw għax ħadu grokk żejjed il-każin.

Hemm qiegħdin. Wasalna f’punt fil-kampanja fejn iċ-ċittadin qed jirrikorri għall-espressjonijiet vernakulari iktar u iktar kull ma jmur. Iktar milli xebgħa huwa għajjien. Strafinit. Dak li jiġrilu. Jħalli lil min iħaddmu bi storbju, b’muntanja wiegħdiet u beżgħat. Minkejja li jaf x’qed jagħmlulu iħalli lil min jieħdu f’sormu bih.

U dakinhar tal-vot imur u jagħtihulhom… qisu qatt ma kien xejn. Ħasra. Għax bir-rata li għaddejin biha x’iktarx li naqgħu għal sormna.

Categories
Campaign 2013

Show me the tablet

Our country does not lie on a vast oil deposit. If it does have one then we either haven’t found it or somebody is very good at keeping it well hidden. We do not export massive amounts of goods and notwithstanding all the talk about the gaming industry and tourism there is only so much you can “earn” to justify spending. We are not even a diligent country in the fashion of Norway that invests most of the money it gets from its oil deposits into a fund for future generations. Inevitably when elections come round even though we may be completely drunk with partisan euphoria the crux of the matter will (or should) always be the same: “Show me the money”.

The tablet wars late last week had a strange effect on me. It was one thing having pointed out for a very long time the atrocious “race to the bottom” that the PLPN dichotomy signifies. It was another to see the manner in which this tongue-in-cheek brazen approach to having a go at insulting the voter’s intelligence has been developed. All the elements coincided – you had the auction of promises and the typical partisan reaction from both sides of our Lilliputian gap. Without batting an eyelid both parties had promised millions of euros of electronic equipment to our younger generations and both parties claimed a monopoly on this move being part of some wider education plan.

Wider plan my foot. Suffice it to say that the Malta Union of Teachers was far from impressed by this tomfoolery. How bloody typical. Remember this is the government that followed our decision to get into the EU but that failed to factor a course for translators and interpreters at University in the run up to membership. How is that relevant? It’s relevant because it is one thing to shoot ambitious plans off the cuff and another thing to actually be in a position to implement them. Ask Manuel Delia.

Before you run away with some twisted idea, this is not an amish attack on all things technological. Of course technology is the future but that is not the point. The point is that both parties very evidently treat this tablet business superficially. Rent-a-pundits will link to a single article in a Microsoft Public Network magazine and will tell you that this is proof that the PN’s tablet proposal has concrete background. Sure. With all due respect to the Mark Azzopardi who has been interviewed in the article I have my doubts how much a Miss World style wish at the end of an article in a Microsoft promotional e-zine to boot can be taken as “background to a government policy” costing 25€ million of taxpayers’ money.

Not to mention of course the fact that if this were really the background then I would begin to worry about how the government already is looking into one particular company (Microsoft) and then I would begin to ask more questions – specifically who represents Microsoft in Malta and who would stand to gain from a deal that puts Microsoft’s learning programme in every school?

As for Labour. Don’t get me started. Their approach is even more bungled and transparent when it comes to the lack of planning. We are lumped with another “remedial class”. Do you remember all the bla bla about consultation with social partners? Do you remember how open Labour is even on the social networks? Well, have I got news from you. They were not listening. Had they been listening to the educators of this country they would have known the immense logistical mountain that faces the schools should the tablet in every hand become a reality. What of LSAs and teachers who suddenly have four or five kids in class with some error on their tablet? Does Labour know that there is no logisitical IT support for every school? From what I am told even LSA coordination is bad enough with government schools having one coordinator for ten schools. That’s without the tablets.

This is not a case of a country not being ready for development and progress. This is a case of a country not affording the truckloads of bullshit that are being heaped upon it daily in this election. The worst thing about it all is not that “Everybody lies” but rather that “everybody is eager to swallow the lies” so long as it’s their party feeding them the bull.

J’accuse challenges both parties to admit that their tablet promise is the result of the drunken euphoria and passion that this election has brought about. We challenge both parties to take back their empty promise and instead to promise a planned introduction of a proper IT project – one that takes into account all participants in the equation, all cogs in the wheel – like teachers for example.

Tablets for all? Thanks, but no thanks.