Category: Mediawatch

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Mediawatch

Dear God (a letter from Charlie)

dear_god_akkuzaDear God,

It’s been a long time. It’s J’accuse speaking, but today and for a few more days to come you can call me Charlie. Excuse me if I don’t follow the protocols you dictated to/inspired the various prophets when it comes to addressing your divine self. It’s just that you have not been too present, have you? Still, I’m not using your name in vain because I needed to speak to you and it’s common usage to address someone using their name.

Anyway. You probably (some would say definitely) know what I am about to say and why I have re-opened this channel of communication. They’ve got hostages now. Yep, this morning. They got up (from what was surely not a comfortable sleep) hijacked a Peugeot and apparently have taken someone hostage. They’ve got kalashnikovs and a rocket-launcher for good measure. I don’t know if you’ve realised (technically you have) but they claim to be doing all this in your name.

Yep yours. And if this is not using your name in vain then I do not know what is. Sure, humankind has been doing things in your name for ages. Gott mit uns! Nobiscum Deus! We never learn. It’s also easier to blame the heavenly landlord especially when he has turned absentee. You see where I am going don’t you? Yes, I’m blaming you God.

According to the books and the prophets it was much simpler in the past. You got angry. You turned up in some burning bush or other manifestation and made sure that people understood how furious you were. Damn right. Pillars of fire, pestilences, storms, etc. Remember Sodom and Gomorrah. Ah those were the days. Patti chiari, amicizia lunga. No patronising intermediaries interpreting and executing. No Siree. It was you in all your glory. You saw, you disliked, you punished with gusto.

Where are those bygone days? Apparently after JC things went sort of awry. Gone was the God of Moses and Abraham and in stepped the intermediaries who “interpreted” your will and your laws. You went silent and your silent was deemed to be acquiescence. Chi tace acconsente. Oh yes we had a multitude of interpreters telling us about self-determination and control of one’s own destiny.

But there would always be the busybodies. In Maltese we say “a hundred men a hundred opinions” and Adonai do we know how bad opinions are when it comes to religion. Also the “men” section of humankind with all their pent up anger and sexual frustration (Freud came too late to explain) really endeavoured to turn all this into a hard time for everyone – especially the weak. Interpretations of your will and the ideas of those speaking in your name became more and more dubious – but you remained silent. Surely that meant they were right?

Even Ridley Scott got the wrong end of the stick when he revisited the story of your interaction with Moses. So little God, so many special effects and scientific explanations for plagues and storms. I promise God, Exodus as interpreted by Hollywood is a complete waste of time. By 2014 you became a cockney speaking little boy having a battle of wits with Batman (sorry, Christian Bale) as to who has the strongest power to sway a pharaohs opinion. See? We have forgotten how mighty your Word was. It’s been such a long time since the beginning. Too much absenteeism and the landlord’s tenants are running amok.

So yes. I blame you when two idiots with the IQ of a vegetable arm themselves to the teeth and wreak havoc in the onzieme arrondissement all the while claiming to do it in your name.

Really God, are Gabriel, Michael and the rest all on Sabbatical too? Wouldn’t one quick missive from the celestial levels -a little cherub – do the trick? Just whisper in their ears that Charb and Co. are really, really funny and that they too perform your will on earth by spreading smiles and keeping the right people on their toes. Because you too have a sense of humour and you like that kind of thing don’t you? How else do you explain the platypus and Maltese politicans?

Instead nada. We have silence. Don’t give me that storms nonsense. You know the type – there are people down here who claim that you send storms and other abominations to punish us for such sins as gay marriage. No cryptic messages. No rainbows or sandstorms. What we need is a good clear voice in the sky that reminds these freaks who are committing all sort of atrocities in your name that they are not on your side.

Really God. It’s that Simple.

Just say the Word.

regards,

Charlie.

Categories
Mediawatch

Ched’s no billboard material

Evans_akkuzaThe fuss about Hibernians’ non-attempt to not sign disgraced footballer (is he a footballer?) Ched Evans was a mighty boon for Muscat’s government. Any distraction is welcome in a time of gaffes and defaulted promises. As it turns out, it was the player who was offered to the Paolite team and not Hibs who went to the UK on the look out for a cheap option (he must be, given how he is not really wanted in most respectable clubs).

The issue itself – as to whether or not a convicted rapist should be given a second chance at a footballing career once he has served time (avec or sans remorse) – is definitely one that merits much debate. I tend to reason that the character of a footballer is just as important to the team as his skills and that this, on its own, would make Evans unemployable by any serious team wanting to avoid disruption and bad influence. Cynical, I know, but Evans should not be playing anything more than Sunday football with his village XI. The professional career was shot long ago.

And that is where we get the link back to Muscat. The story was, as we said, distracting. The Times obliged with a full Timestalk program on what was by then a non-news locally speaking : Hibs never asked for the player, he was simply offered to them by a common sponsor. It was welcome chit chat away from the “OK Siehbi” business for Muscat though. Or was it?

Muscat tweeted about Hibs needing to do the right thing. He clearly implied that deciding to employ a convicted felon might not always be a good move – particularly for Malta’s “image” abroad. Ah yes,  image – obsessed as we are that the consequences of our actions are not measured by right or wrong but by perception. Suddenly Ched Evans came back to explode in Muscat’s face like the proverbial pie. Here was the Prime Minister who has openly embraced convicted criminal Engerer (for a lesser crime but nonetheless a heinous one) suddenly preaching from the pulpit as how to deal with convicted felons.

We could not help but be reminded that following Malliagate, the Prime Minister was quick to point out that it would be sad to completely lose the services of Manuel Mallia. There are many other examples of disgraced politicians being quietly reinstated in the fold of Taghna Lkoll after a period of “penitence”. In the “OK siehbi” world of Muscat everyone deserves a second chance, and a third and a fourth. If your face was on a billboard or if you backed the “moviment” in any way then – subject to the right conditions of “perception” – you are afforded the Taghna Lkoll equivalent of a “Get Out of Jail Free”.

Ched Evans’ mistake was not that he raped a drunk girl in a hotel room and subsequently failed to show remorse for his actions. Ched Evans’ mistake was simply that he did not appear on a Taghna Lkoll billboard when he had the chance.

 

Categories
Mediawatch Transport

Let them eat baguette

baguette_akkuzaA Happy New Year to all J’accuse readers and diehards. This blog starts its heavy trek towards celebrating ten years of blogging after an unforced hiatus. No, that is not a word stolen from Varist’s vocabulary. I return well rested from a visit to the islands that are fast becoming the second home with a wealth of newly absorbed information about the daily travails of the Maltese citizen.

The general outlook on Malta seems to be fair. My partner likes to think of Maltese as hobbits because, as she says, “You think of food first and foremost, wherever you go.” In a way it is true. Back from a trip abroad? Visiting a new city? Our first enquiries and experiments are culinary. Veni, Mangi, Judici. Our trips are coloured and defined by food. Panem et circences does take on a new meaning where the Maltese are concerened because we are a foody people.

“Kemm kilt pastizzi ja hanzir?” It is hard to speak collectively about taste in food. There is the eternal battle between quality and abundance. Somewhere along the lines there is a dividing line (or lines) that might set aside a different set of classes from Joseph’s Mittilklass. Food in all its simplicity might be venerated for the simple purpose of gratification – fenkata tajba or a simple but spot-on meal at Rita’s at Ghar Lapsi. It might take on a whole new fifty shades of implications of perceived class like when we sell a recipe book as being the one “miktub mir-ragel tal-President”.

The quest for honest to god simple good food is now complicated with the invasion of the little italians. Sicilians, Apulians, Neapolitans and Tuscans all giving a thumbs down to Renzi’s dream and scuttling their euros to Joseph’s Malta. So long as he does not get the bright idea to hike up VAT on drink as they did in the Duchy this year (up to 17% from 3% – a pint now costs 5.40 euro) they will keep coming. Is your divine tagliata di manzo con rucola parmigiano simply a culinary venture or your tiny participation in a money laundering venture set up by the sons and relatives of the camorra, mafia, ‘ndrangheta or sacra corona? Does it taste the same once you get to know that?

And what of that burgeoning empire of Hugo’s? Surely those millions cannot all come from selling a delicious platter of sushi or a well-aimed shot at making a digestible pad thai? Is it the jet-set factor? Does it pay to be seen eating at Hugo’s tapas/oriental and now middle east or burger?

Cook at home? You can shop at Lidl’s now that More has bitten the bullet of the fast money laundered buck. Nobody need know the origin of your faux foie gras once you’ve unpacked it out of the box. As for the idea of plenty I was overwhelmed when I was told that I had 24 litres of water for free since I had spent the right amount at the exquisitely stocked GS supermarket in Naxxar. Then there are charities trying to set up funds to bring fountains to remote African villages or stoves to Guatemalan denizens. It’s all so confusing.

But back to class and food. Muscat’s dream of creating a new mittilkless has hit the metaphorical brick wall when it comes to AirMalta. The people who are so used to measuring their travelling experience by the food that they eat (and the more it seems to be “free” the better) have been told that henceforth they are to be handed only baguette and water on all Air Malta flights. For baguette read a tiny bread roll that would not satisfy even the most Mittilkless of desires.

The point is not really the food on board the flights (the longest of which is around the four hour mark) but the principle of telling the people of the bountiful plate that they will have to make do with the snacklet in order to save those “ghasafar tac-comb”. There does not seem to have been a shift in ticket prices. No lower fares to reflect the lower (food) fare on board. The government obsessed with class and class aspirations, the one that makes a meal of free lunches on the taxpayers account has told the people that “they can eat baguette”.

Deep down it has little to do with the economics of saving a faltering national airline. It has much to do with the hunger of the aspirant mittelklass and their aspirations for inflight microwaved chicken or lasagne.

To some people it might have just been an amusing snack on board a quaint airline. To the emancipated wave of mittelmaltin that Joseph inspired it meant the world.

Categories
Mediawatch

No Bridge for Troubled Waters

bridges_akkuzaIt’s such an annoying habit. The moment the government of the day feels that it is losing the PR plot somebody in the communications department rushes to the file cabinet marked “Red Herrings” and pulls out the thickest file of them all. “Bridge to Gozo” has all the makings of controversy à-la-carte that might only just satisfy the need to distract – to draw attention away from the real problem.

It has happened again. Labour’s absolute incapacity to deal with the basic tenets of the rule of law have been laid embarrassingly bare by a series of unbelievable events. Unbelievable in the sense that you could not invent them if you wanted to. We have reached a point where our members of parliament – the people’s representatives – are informed that they (or their entourage) will no longer be allowed to bear firearms within the parliamentary precincts. No shit Sherlock. Where they ever?

Forget the Black Rod having the door slammed in his face and having to knock three times to gain access to the hallowed halls of popular representation. Forget any semblance of institutional respect (let alone reverence). Forget, in short, the basic fundamentals of the rule of law.

Potevamo stupirvi con effetti speciali… but we’re just throwing this bridge idea at you. Of course we’ve royally screwed the public transport “improvement” we promised, and don’t forget we’ve absolutely bungled the whole issue of a new power station; we’re not exactly hiding the fact that property developers have us by the balls and we will be selling off huge chunks of the littoral for their enjoyment, BUT of course we can ask you to consider trusting us with a 1 billion euro project to span the fliegu. Piss up in a brewery anyone?

I’d say Jesus wept. But he is running out of tears at this point.

Categories
Mediawatch Politics

Bang! Bang! Democracy!

bang_akkuzaTwo shots. It could take two reckless, dangerous, irresponsible, illegal shots to finally get the people to “wake up and smell the coffee”. It might. There’s no telling really how willing an electorate can be to allow the fundamental tenets of a democracy to shatter before its eyes. That the nation was in the hands of a class that would only pay lip service to a system of rule of law was already evident to anybody who bothered to listen. We needed the caricature – the modern day parable ‘- to maybe pull the myriad ostrich heads out of the sand.

It’s more than a caricature. It’s a list of bilious arrogance spat in the face of any semblance of respect for the rule of law and the system.

  1. A minister’s driver used an official car for a private visit.
  2. That minister’s driver is also a policeman. Chauffeurs, waiters. Ipsos custodies gone wrong.
  3. That minister’s driver drives around armed. That’s a loaded gun.
  4. That minister’s driver feels entitled to take the law into his own hands. He could have reported an alleged “hit and run” offender, instead he took his gun…
  5. That minister’s driver was not happy with firing not one but two “warning shots” in a public place. He jumped into his car and began “hot pursuit”. Because of course he is also a policeman and there was the crime against public peace of scraping a side-view mirror to deal with. Citizens of Malta will drive more carefully now.
  6. That minister’s driver’s version was very soon the “official” version being backed by nothing less than a ministerial PR office. This notwithstanding a large number of eyewitness accounts failing to corroborate any pieces of the story that seem to have been concocted between the events and the media exercise. It’s not just a travesty, it’s a travesty backed by big brother.

We do say that certain trends do come late in Malta. Thirty years is a long time but hey we’re getting out very own 1984 right now. Put yourselves in the shoes of the British citizen who is guilty of having hit the side mirror of a ministerial vehicle. Hell, put yourselves in the shoes of any citizen involved in a traffic accident with a ministerial vehicle or a minister driving his vehicle. You’re screwed either way. If it’s the minister who was driving at the time then you know whose version of events will count. If it’s the ministers driver then your lotto for life will begin the moment he reaches for the gun. You know…

“Mr. Minister’s PR Guy in Press Conference Rag

Notice how his mouth never moves, almost”

Pathetic really. Even before any gun was shot the minister’s driver has already stepped out of the line (see list above). What do we get? We get a ministry of the government of the republic defending “his version of events” – essentially on the face of it (and on the basis of the alleged facts available hitherto) defending what can only be described as criminal activity. Why?

The Labour government track record defending persons with a poor record with the law is already a huge burden on Joseph Muscat’s dwindling credibility. Criminals turn heros rather enthusiastically in Labour’s constellation. Compared to this kind of nefarious behaviour, the sins of failing to deliver on any of its major electoral promises and the (non) meritocratic mess pale in comparison.

Sadly there is a huge chunk of the population that are prepared to carry along with this farce. These are the kind of people who applauded Muscat’s pushback antics, who are amused by his backing of criminals as Labour representatives and who will think that the minister’s driver is some kind of latter day hero who was valiantly defending the right to have an unblemished car mirror. As I explained in this blog only yesterday, this is also the result of the erosion of authorities and institutions. It is the result of the gradual hacking away at any semblance of system of accountability and rule of law. It is also the result of the drunken stupor induced by that famous number – 36,000.

Two shots. They might be the beginning of a wider awareness. Or they might just be the starting pistol’s shots announcing the beginning of our descent into the absolute pits of mediocrity.

Grazzi Joseph. Nibqghu nafuhulek.

Categories
Mediawatch Politics

By Appointment

appointment_akkuzaI was asked recently to give my two cents’ worth for an article being prepared by a MaltaToday journalist. He was looking into the recent history of KSU and more particularly the trend of ex-KSU council members becoming politicians (even more particularly Nationalist politicians). Was the university student council simply a machine geared to churn out potential nationalist MPs? Why only nationalist? Was (is) the university a nationalist party enclave? Is there a reason SDM still win a majority of votes at the elections? And of course… what is wrong with the “first past the post” system?

I will not delve into the answers that I gave here but what intrigues me is the perspective that is taken on the question of what we can call political careerism. Let me just say (I admit rather idealistically) that the whole KSU structure as conceived in the mid-90s only becomes counterproductive when allegiance to representing political party interests takes precedence over the aim of student representation. Back to careerism. The question is, is it only the nationalist side of our great divide that operates a school of aspiring careerists? A place in SDM, eventually a seat on the KSU council, a bit of coverage, maybe a spot of Local Council sparring and then a place in the party mechanism only to be nominated on a board or two once your party is in government. Who knows?

Would it take an anthropologist to really uncover the liens that intertwine in our very local and islandish form of networking that uses certain DNA traits such as “better the devil you know”? Take one step back. Look at the Aaron Farrugia’s of the Labour constellation. Sure they may not have made it to the coveted KSU executive post (though, had they done their representation homework properly they would have discovered that they had quite a role to play in the Social Policy Commission through Pulse). Still, you will find that the current administration is peppered with young, green, inexperienced hopefuls that are projected (many would add undeservedly) onto various committees, boards, and whatnot. All By TaghnaLkoll Appointment you would say. And you would be right.

It’s two sides of the same coin though. 25 years of nationalist administration, plus a petri dish of cliches as is the university population might have meant that SDM had the upper hand and were more prone to scrutiny when it came to careerism in the public eye (particularly after the idealist non-affiliated SDM petered out following its three year stint battling the impossible). This does not mean that what was true for the nationalist greasy pole is not true of the labourite one. People are so obsessed with this idea that there is some kind of nationalist infiltration of the university that they tend to forget that the two “schools” of partisan interference have sown (and reaped) their seeds in the university campus.Whether it is intentional or just an adaptation of the campus to the realities of political careerism is anyone’s guess.

It’s not just university you know. The ivory tower is only one field of recruitment. The networking system upon which our political parties have relied means that in every sector – from business to health to entertainment – there are massive interests that very often verge on the economic. We have seen how in the last few months the Labour government has scarcely been able to hide the web of interests that lie behind every supposed “policy” move. The brazen approach of discovery taken by Caruana Galizia’s Running Commentary is expediting the discovery of a web of interests that is being accommodated. From advertising brochures to insurance contracts to appointments on public boards. As Benigni would say “Qui è un mangia mangia generale”.

Surprised? Surely not. Also today former PN activist Frank Psaila “blogs” on MaltaToday about “The untouchables“. His is a particular slant about “people of trust” being necessarily appointed in particular strategic posts. Strategic to the government of course. Psaila can say a thing or two about what happened during the time of the PN administration because he was part of it. Caruana Galizia will have multiple willing “leakers” eager to disclose the secret entanglings of labour.

The real question is whether had there been an equally popular system of discovery during the previous administrations – one that lends itself to subtle contributions by “international networks” – whether it would have also uncovered a similar web of intertwined interests and favours. We had a former PN secretary general refer to a system of barter to explain how the party works. Combined with the aforementioned “better the devil you know” approach, you get the nagging feeling that just as a series of not too serendipitous connections would link the PM to a newly formed advertising agency or insurance company nowadays,  you could have done very much the same exercise a while back.

True. The Labour system is much more outrageous and ostentatious with its careerist appointments. Competence and relevance (of qualification) are thrown out of the window. Within 21 months we have been able to witness arrogant dog-headedness and a multitude of forms of brazen nepotism. A dark shadow looms on most government tenders and nowadays when you hear the prime minister say that “he respects the court decision” (as in the case of the prohibitory injunction on the transport issue) you get the feeling that the tone is more “I will tolerate for now” than “I will humbly prostrate myself before the decision of the courts of law”.

In essence Labour are much more expert at exposing the ugly warts of the way our democratic system functions. What is sure is that 25 years of nationalist administration failed to strengthen the appropriate watchdogs that would be barking madly at this point. “Authorities” of all sorts are feebler and weaker. Labour fast-forwarded this weakness in the system by exploiting it further and further. The decline and fall of the police and army system under the able (not for good reasons) hands of Minister who has long lost the plot is the most obvious example. Weakened institutions – the ombudsman, the attorney general’s office, MEPA come to mind – abound. Elsewhere ministers disband independent committees with a simple phone call, MPs are suspected of toying around with tender documents… need I go on?

So the tune has not changed. The need for new politics remains greater than ever. The tragedy is that the system is ever so desperately ingrained in its methods that it becomes harder to see a way out. In such a small democracy as ours it it difficult (or impossible) to imagine the ultimate watchdog turning out to be the catalyst for such a change. Who is the ultimate watchdog? Oh that would be “the average voter”. But he might be too busy trying to expectantly get his foot into the gravy train (by appointment) to bother with the complicated nuances of the absolute reform that is ever so urgent and necessary for this country.

That is the sad truth of it all. A truth that Joseph Muscat turned into the secret underpinning of his strategy: That within the vast majority of the electorate lies an illusion of a legitimate expectation to get a piece of the pie by appointment and for free. So long as that illusion lasts the nation will continue to resemble a suicide of lemmings running towards a cliff’s edge*.

 

* Actually this is an urban myth. Lemmings do not really commit suicide** by collectively jumping off cliffs (see here for example). Voters on the other hand….

 

** The collective term for lemmings, though, is actually a “suicide” of lemmings. As we say in Maltese … Ħu il-fama…