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Arts

Smart Brains, Stupid Balls, Banned Campaigns

Maybe the furore is catchy. Maybe, just maybe, the fine line between artistic expression and public information notices is not so clear in advertising. It only just happens that the Advertising Standards Authority in the UK has banned two adverts by popular clothing company DIESEL. The problem is visual and not, as one would have been led to think at a first viewing/reading the message portrayed. I had liked this campaign ever since I first spotted it at the DIESEL shop in Milan. It seems to focus on the different between “smart” and “stupid” – two not so abstracts stereotypes being compared. If you believe the campaign DIESEL is rooting for “stupid” who apparently has “balls” rather than “brain” and is therefore preferable in some way. The advertising agency did not oppose this apparent glorification of “stupidity” but was forced to ban the adverts on the basis of nudity/insinuations thereof. Shocking.

In the first of the two sample banned images we have here,  “stupid” woman meets security camera. She has gone through the painstaking labour of procuring a ladder and climbing up to the camera at torso level in order to flash her mammaries at a lifeless source. Stupid porn? I wouldn’t go that far. Provocative maybe but these days the penny falls on the side of those who would rather be protected from having their brain cells challenged with the unconventional.

Which brings us to the second option. “Stupid” (and sexy) here is oblivious to the dangers prowling behind her and readying for the kill. It is not very clear whether the “brains” that come as a standard accessory on “smart” would have been of any help in this scenario given that “eyes in the back of the head” or “retrovision” are still under development in even the most advanced versions of homo sapiens. In any case “stupid” here is ignoring the presence of its mammaries and is peering over them in an apparent attempt to photograph the contents of her underwear – which, judging by even the most precocious of bits of received information (viz. Barbie or Sindy) should not be much seeing as how the particular sex in question is blessed with a neat packaging of sexual organs on the interior of the human frame. We are not privy to any information as to whether “stupid” actually stole the camera and is performing the infamous prank that is as old as kodak of proceeding to waste the film with photos of behinds and genitalia – which admittedly would be quite a “stupid” thing to do.

Let’s face it.Tthere’s about as much of a pornographic element in these photos as you get with a  newsreader with a particularly daring décolleté.  If anything, socially speaking, the worst message being given out by DIESEL, if taken literally, is the imperative order to whoever reads these ads to “be stupid”. It’s meant to provoke. It’s an ad. They do not seriously require you to become stupid overnight and take to capturing breasts or genitalia on moving or static film. Then again that last fact is obvious to the smart people who see these ads. The larger majority might warrant protection from the danger of taking the message too literally (or from getting sexually provoked by the imagery involved) and that would be too much “stupid” to handle.

source: Diesel genitals and breast adverts banned for “serious offence”.

The (non-broadcast) Advertising Guidelines (UK)
The (Broadcast – TV & Radio) Codes (UK)

The Advertising Standards Authority said 33 people had complained that the adverts were offensive and unsuitable for children. It ruled the adverts breached responsible advertising and decency guidelines and should not appear again in poster form.

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Sport

Simply über alles

Were they not absolutely fantastic? When they trounced the hapless English team by four goals to one (almost to two) many were those who would have easily subscribed to the “even my vindaloo eating granny could do that” philosophy. In short we were prepared to concede that the merit of the four goal drubbing of the Three Lions had little to do with some kind of footballing superiority of the mannschaft and more to do with the absolute disregard to the notions of basic football exhibited by Postman Pat’s XI.

Here at J’accuse we had been viewing the battle between Good and Evil (it’s a matter of perspective) as a fight for the right to be soundly given a lesson in football by the princes of South American football (there can only be one king and he normally comes from Rio or Pernambuco).

Yet here we are today looking back in awe and disbelief as we contemplate the complete and utter capitulation of the mullet plagued team from the City of Good Winds. It must have been an ill wind that carried Bastian Schweinsteiger’s cross lightly but surely over the rudderless orphans of Javier Zanetti and Walter Samuel as the young Muller soared over the ill-organised ranks of the Argie excuse for a defence  and gave the ball a sufficient twist of momentum and direction to overcome any last ditch attempt from the pony-tailed guardian to keep it out of his nest. There would be more to follow as the young German team refused to be dazzled by the supposèd new kings of entertainment football.

The secret to German success turned out to be no secret at all. You could tell as the game unfolded that they were doing what they could do best – they kept it simple. They passed the ball when a pass was needed, crossed it right when the cross was begging and shot the ball into the net with a beguiling simplicity that left anyone watching the match absolutely gobsmacked. You could not believe it when Klose was busy somersaulting in the air much to the chagrin of  Lionel and Carlos. You rubbed your eyes in disbelief as Schweinsteiger and Lahm ran riddles round the albiceleste men. Like Uruguay before them these men had not read the script. And thank heavens for that.

You gotta love ze germans

For yes, in an ideal world the World Cup final should have been a matter between the two constellations of verdeoro and albiceleste with the supposedly cynical Europeans having packed their bags for home long ago. But that is the ideal world of press, precedent and hype that fails to take account of the truth of the game. The truth is that if it is in the game, it’s in the game. When the ball gets stroked around with such gusto and flair and with an ambition to prove oneself (as against believing that just wearing the yellow or blue and white shirt is enough) with every tackle, with every pressing and with every true ball. When the ball seems to join in the fun fluttering obeyingly from foot to foot to goal with the ease of an alphabet recited then there truly is the secret that opens the doors to the Olympian height of world cup victory.

We have a German team to thank for this revelation. For the truth that football is beyond words and hype and commercialism. It all boils down to the simple rules of the game that dictate that to win a match you have to score more than your opponents, pass the ball at the right time, cross it believing it will get to the feet of your attacker and slip it in with the calm and certainty that this is the most important kick of the ball in your life. Each and every one of them. Calmly executed, perfectly performed, world Class playing.

Simple above all.

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Sport

Out and About

So the Selecao is out. It was a fifty fifty match but in the end the team with a stronger and deeper reserve of personality won. You would not believe that the Felipe Melo own goal brought the result to a draw. You could see it in the eyes of Snejder, Robben & Co. they could feel the victory coming. Melo, Cesar and Luisao began to practice the sad faces long before the game was jeopardised. In the end Brasil would go out to two set pieces, to their own inabilityy to continue believing that they could outclass the Oranje in the second half as they did in the first and to the crass imbecility and unprofessionalism of Juventus’ 25 million euro star – Felipe Melo. What was he thinking?

Soccer romantics would not mind the Netherlands going all the way now vindicating the near misses of Cruyff’s generation in’74 and ’78. There’s a few underdogs to reckon with and as I type Africa’s dream and the historic champions face each other for the right to challenge Holland’s cynical XI. J’accuse will throw it’s full support behind the winner of tonights match – the sympathy ratings are high. As the iTV commentator said “a country takes on a continent”. One last comment (call it sour grapes if you like) but when did the Japanese ref plan to book Van Bommel? 4 cardable offences and kicks from behind went unnoticed. No prob. Next stop Brasil ‘2014 and I’m planning to watch that world cup in the host country.

Bonde Brasil Copa 2010
Image by RodrigoLobo.com via Flickr
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iTech

Right to Surf, Dude

The last thing you would associate Finland and the Finns with is surfing. Insofar as jumping onto planks of wood and riding the waves is concerned you would probably be better off on a beach in Waikiki or Ooolalallalawotawave. There is another kind of surfing though that has just been granted the status of a legal right in the country that is neither Scandinavian nor Baltic but that just sits prettily between the two agglomerations.

“You have the right to surf the net at a broadband speed. You have the right to be constantly connected to the information superhighway. You have the right to kill off the boredom of those endless days and sleepless nights by hooking up to the virtual world“. That, in paraphrased J’accuse parlance, is what every Finnish citizen has just acquired thanks to a bold move by the Finnish government.

From 1 July every Finn will have the right to access to a 1Mbps (megabit per second) broadband connection. Finland has vowed to connect everyone to a 100Mbps connection by 2015.

To boldly go where no government has gone before is admirable. To do so with the declared intent to bring everyone up to standard on the information society is pure genius. The logic, according to Finland’s communication minister, is that it is useless to develop an information society if not everybody is using it. This is surely one way to tackle a huge source of poverty – ignorance.

Now listen to this. A poll conducted by the BBC World Service earlier in 2010 found out that “almost four in five people around the world believed that access to the internet is a fundamental right”. Way to go Berners-Lee.

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Admin

At a Medium Pace

I am not referring to Adam Sandler’s very pornographic parody of a song that is freely available on the net for anybody who is intelligent enough to search YouTube. I am referring, rather, to the very gradual unfolding of new posts on this blog. Believe me when I say that I have a 101 new subjects to post about and they vary from freedom of speech to constitutional discourse to sport to gadgetry and travel. What has happened of course is that having returned from ten days of gallivanting I have found a desk loaded with work and the little time I have to spare is spent obsessively following the unravelling of one of the best world cups in the last two decades. I know there are PR contracts to speak about, shameful re-marketing of poverty, church and state relations in the light of US court developments and more. It’s a shame really that such a gold mine that should be conducive to blogorrheic activity will go undiscovered for now. Unfortunately I have to pass on for a little more. In the meantime I take to bed with me the 82 page decision of the Maltese constitutional court. It’s my third and a half reading. Do bear with me before you get a nice long post about it all – from a new perspective I hope. And oh. Did I tell you? I bought a Macbook pro. We’re soon going to elope to Las Vegas and get married. Don’t tell my better half. She might get jealous. Over and out.t

Categories
Sport

Seleção – updated

Insofar as support is concerned, this corner of the web has two hearts that beat blindly. One is coloured black and white and the other, more fanatic one, is coloured green and gold. We held back from commenting the early forays of the seleção especially since we rarely believe that the first three matches of a WC offer any verdict other than IN or OUT.

Dunga’s Brasil are light years away from offering the “jogo bonito” that he tough Brasilian supporters expect year in year out. I too have given up on really “watching Brasil play”. Instead we are regaled with fiammate of genius interspersed with solid, pragmatic displays that take the best of what football has to offer with a very pragmatic perspective. Dunga’s Brasil would take a 1-0 victory home any day but time and time again it has offered unexpected goleadas even when the usual suspects where not around.

Forget O Fabuloso and Robinho (who has a magnificent track record vs Chile – 5 games/6 goals) – the man to watch is Juventus’ Felipe Melo. It has become more and more evident that he is the metronome of the team. His presence as a dam infront of the defence allows Kaka and the forwards to weave their magic one-twos and bursts. Melo and Dunga are like man and God… the former has been formed in the shape of the latter and that is probably why the Brasil coach has so much faith in the much maligned Felipe Melo.

Melo plays with a swollen ankle tonight. He has been Brasil’s Dr Jekyll to Juve’s Mr Hyde. Juve fans watched him in desperation as they hoped he would justify his 25 million tag only to be disappointed time and time again. In the first few matches with the seleção he has become an insurmountable figure on which the goal machine falls back when the going gets tough (true there is the not too ignorable presence of Lucio and Juan behind him).

Will Melo & Co overcome Chile with the same ease as the last eight encounters against los Riojas? It remains to be seen. Brasil are normally at their most worrying when they enter a match that seems to be a foregone conclusion. Also it remains to be seen how many Brasililan feet will get kicked about by a desperate second choice Chilean defence. Fingers crossed and lets hope that the ghosts of 1950 and 1982 – when Brasil was meant to be the inevitable victor – do not return to haunt Dunga’s braves.

Go Brazil!

***
UPDATE

So they won. Melo did not play in the end but Ramires replaced him well enough. The early forays into Brasilian territory where not enough for Bielsa’s plucky XI and Brasil built their victory with bloks of European cynicism coupled with moments of individual flair and strokes of magic. Kaka is slowly filling in the shoes of unsung maestro of this team distributing the passes with nonchalant tempo.

Hats off to Chile though. Like the Americans before them, they had the neutrals thrilled with their pluckiness, their enthusiasm and their unwillingness to play to some unwritten script. Well done Chile and it really is a pity that the knock-out round had to come about at some point. We cross our fingers as we wait for the Oranje next Friday.