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Tito Fernandez – El Temucano

Is it just me or does the idea of a ‘naturalist’ enjoying the sight of a ‘painted lady’ conjure up weird images in everyone’s head? Apparently the ‘painted ladies’ reported to have invaded the Maltese islands in their thousands are not tattoed babes but rather colourful insects.

It’s been a bit hard finding time to blog about all the things I read about recently thanks to a particularly work-intensive return from Barcelona (city of Campeon – boo to you Sir Alex). I guess it’s time for an I.M. Jack style roundup of what most tickled our fancy insofar as EP election run up in Malta is concerned.

1. Deidun’s Thunderous No to Divorce

“ I am proud to be called a conservative or a traditionalist, even though I am still 30 years old, and to call for respect by all candidates of Christian values, such as those of marriage, which is indissoluble ” 

The PN rainbow coalition of variegated colours concept is sort of backfiring. Pick’n’mix is beginning to resemble a complicated game of Jenga: your mind almost settles for voting for one candidate that might have been tailored to your liking when he or she opens her mouth and destroys any chances you would ever have of voting for him.  Take Deidun, the PN sheet’s  green giant, he might have been a.o.k in the environmental department but suddenly he’s gone all Gonzi-like quoting papal bulls or whatnot and announcing that divorce is a Nyet Nyet issue. Mind you, it should not matter much what Deidun or any other MEP candidate has to say about divorce but seeing how we cannot really count on parties and we are reduced to chosing fine, upstanding individuals, this hardline stand by the eco-warrior turned intolerant conservative makes Alan join the unvoteable ranks of the Ellul Bonicis and Casas.

2. Those Slippery Values

While Deidun the young conservative conservationalist was proudly proclaiming his christian badge of faith other soldiers of Gonzi were busy asserting a Jumbo Pack of values all over the place:

Google (Europe) has hooked onto the spirit of tonight’s Champions’ League. Google.it and Google.fr both sported a special logo for tonight’s occasion. It seems (at least from here) that the main Google page did not deem the World’s greatest sporting event of 2009 sufficiently important. Hell, after all it ain’t the Superbowl isn’t it?

Still on holiday. Thought I should tell you I am off to see the Championship winning celebrations of Barcelona tonight. It’sa pretty useless match against Osasuna but after that the blagrana should be parading their Championship and Copa del Rey trophies… and partying. J’accuse will be there….

J’accuse is on a holiday stint thanks to the Duke of Luxembourg and the Luxembourg national day. We got an extra long weekend off and that meant that the travel bug was reignited. Barcelona, home to Gaudi and Messi, has been selected thanks to its gaudicious combination of shopping, culture and beaches. If you are wondering why your favourite blogger/columnist has gone AWOL then the fiery Catalan city is your answer.

I had only just landed and got into the taxi when I was asked where I was from. Upon hearing the answer, the taxi driver launched into a series of sighs: Ah!Malta, futebol, twelve one.” Some myths never die, though I must say that I had to put up a patriotic fight against anobstinate taxi driver who seemed convinced that nations with a small populations should not participate on the next EU stage. It’s people like him too who will be voting come next MEP elections. Meanwhile, in the Barrio Gotic, the Indian who sold me the Barca polo shirt between a “my friend”,”good price” and a “look nice” had no idea that his home country had just voted the Congress Party back into government.

The weather is great, my credit card feels threatened and I just got confirmation that my flight for voting (referred to nicely as “cheap flight” in the press) is a.o.k. Here’s the current polls for J’accuse’s votes:

1. Alternattiva Demokratika- nothwithstanding the gaffes.The vote to AD still goes on the basis of the need for representation of Maltese interests in a third formation. Arnold seems unfortunately destined to go Harry’s way and play the polls wrongly. The recent “scientific poll” gaffe is inexcusable- either mention the poll or go the PLPN way. J’accuse number one for AD, unfortunately, still translates to an “insufficente” to the whole political system. And I am not gleeful about it.

2. Labour – surprising as it is and as absolutely unEuropean as they still sound as a whole this number 2 vote is also based on best interests for Malta. The reasoning is this: they will probably get three seats anyway-might as well try to get your say in who among the bunch of Damascean converts could least embarass you. That should be someone in the mould of Louis Grech. Proper button pushing is an option. The definitely not list includes – Sharon Ellul Bonici, Glenn Bedingfield, Christian Zammit (nice try though), and Claudette Abela Baldacchino. The don’t even consider list includes Joseph Cuschieri,John Attard Montaltoand Kyrill Micallef Stafrace. The WTF?list includes Maria Camilleri.Yep. It boils down to Louis Grechand Edward Scicluna… and as the saying goes… better the devil you know. So it’s Louis again.

3. Nationalist – They thoroughly deserve a drubbing for letting their political side goto the pits, for the deceptive propaganda and the ridiculous selection of non-candidates the same reasoning applies. Choose the candidate that can do least damage. SimonSays Busuttil still sticks out, though if you go by the polls he is a surefire bet anyway. Why not go for the second best in order to have your say in the possible second seat the Nats could get away with? Help rule out Vince Farrugia, David Casa, Roberta Metsola TT, Marthese and Frank Portelli et al. My personal choice would be Edward Demicoli. A good second bet if there was one.

There you are. “Era meglio morire da piccoli…” as the song by satirist Paolo Rossi goes,but if you really have to dive into this “schifo di merda” it’s “turiamoci il naso” time in the smallest democracy in the EUand here are the votesof the J’accuse jury:

1. Arnold Cassola (12 points)

2. Louis Grech (10 points)

3. Edward Demicoli (8 points)

How about a facebook group to promote the three-way representation vote?

“Cushion jobs” in Brussels (at least that’s what Flossie thinks) have their bad moments too. The main Commission building in Brussels was evacuated a couple of hours ago after a fire broke out in the basement. According to some press reports the fire broke out in the press rooms. La Stampa reports a strong smell of plastic in the air.

Funnily enough, at around the same time the fire is said to have broken out (13.05) I was having lunch at the ECJ restaurant when the fire alarm went off. After around 10 minutes of an irritating alarm noise that threatened to ruin my very enjoyable “salmon au sauce de sesame pour le travail coussin” we were informed that it was a false alarm.

Not for the Commission employees in Brussels though.

The BBC.