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It started with a plagiarised electoral slogan but now the idea of plagiarising is taking on monumental proportions chez the nationalist party in Malta.

Both Austin Sammut and Simon Busuttil have recently heaped praises on the superior quality of the PN candidates. If the PN spin were to be believed then the list of candidates encompasses a group of reliable experts who know what they are talking about when it comes to the EU. They were never euro-sceptic and – bonus points – they have a strong pro-EU infrastructure working within a big EPP party that gives them all the right credentials to represent you and me.

Above all as Austin and Simon both will tell you. PN candidates have a mind of their own and do not have any threats of fines hanging on their head should they speak their mind. So what is it that the expert candidates have to say to promote their cause? Let’s take a look at what SuperCandidates David Casa had to say in today’s Independent.

Fausto calls any reasoning that renders his championing of the Nationalists uncomfortable “convoluted” (Twisted Politics 2). Good for him. I am sure he finds Simon Busuttil’s convolution music to his ears – a chacun son gout. In any case today we deal with another trumpet of the Nationalist agenda -that paragon of impartial objective truths… Austin Sammut.

Austin is not exactly directed from PN HQ but like Berta Sullivan’s his articles tend to be a bit of the “His Masters’ Voice” type. The theme of this week’s drops of wisdom is “Individual before party” in which the learned nationalist campaigner goes through great pains to emphasise that insofar as the European Parliament elections are concerned the Nationalist Party and Labour party do not matter. More importantly, the loyalty of elected candidates is to the citizen and not to the party on whose ticket he is elected.

That explains Vince Farrugia of course. Here’s Austin’s words of indirect redemption for the GRTU maverick:

It is quite normal, and indeed very important, for a candidate to stand on a party ticket – that gives him the infrastructure, the organisation and hence the strength. But that does not mean that he does not have a mind of his own. Just look at the exposure the PN candidates have been given. They have been given ample space to speak at public meetings with their party leader. They have held activities of their own where they have not stood back from criticising the government.

Here’s one for Austin. In saleseman jargon it’s called “reciprocity” – that feeling of “you owe me one” that a customer gets when the salesman announces some kind of discount on a price. It’s the feeling of obligation to purchase a product that they are not even sure that they like. What other explanation is there for the party to garner the “strength” necessary to back candidates that can supposedly go AWOL once elected?

The best time for a round-up on the goings on in an electoral campaign is always on a Monday. That’s because the different candidates will have been busy spraying their wise thoughts and marking their territories with the electorate. It’s no different on the little island where the long-weekend was the right excuse for campaigns to get into second-gear.

Nominations

Firstly, the bureaucracy. The Electoral Commission has begun accepting nominations so we can now expect a daily update on the candidates who have officially registered their intention to contest. This is a second opportunity to inform the electorate of their intention – the first having been the pompous and colourful announcements of their respective parties. Until now the biggest surprise has been the submission of a nomination by far-right group leader Norman Lowell.  

Norman Lowell was recently condemned to a two-year jail sentence (suspended for four years) although recent amendments to the electoral register might still allow the Imperium Europa chief to contest the election.

This article and accompanying Bertoon appeared in today’s Malta Independent on Sunday.

It is now official: every animal involved or committed to giving you an English breakfast is (or has been) implicated at one time or another in the last decade with a pandemic-threatening disease. First we had the bovine spongiform encelopathy, known commonly as the mad cow disease. Beef based bangers and steak exited from the scene and the breakfast was reduced to simple eggs and bacon. The conspiracy did not stop there – 2003 brought us severe acute respiratory syndrome or SARS.

You did not need two adjectives to know that the chicken thing was bad. Whether you liked them sunny-side up, twice fried or poached, even the eggs had to exit the scenario for a little time and the pretty contribution of the sweet two legged suppliers of a staple protein diet had to be cautiously avoided. Now we have the pigs spitting in the face of Orwell and his Animal Farm. I wonder what Napoleon (the pig, not the frog) would make of this indiscriminate virus that knows no preference between the porkies and homo sapiens. “Four legs good, two legs suit me fine” must be the motto of the virus strain of the type H1N1.

So you see – even your bacon ain’t safe. Or at least it would not be if there were any danger that you could get this virus from food. It would be easier to contain it if were so, but instead this virus is as slyly adaptable as a PLPN electoral unit and does not go for an attack through ingestion. What our swine influenza virus (although you cannot call it that anymore thanks to WHO) favours are epithelial cells in your nose, throat and lungs. Hence the bastard, like an expat’s vote, travels via the air that you breathe. In short you can only hope that no ill wind is blowing in your direction.

But despair not. Foodwise, carnivores are still left with panoply of flesh with which to make a feast. First and foremost come our woolly friends baa-baaing away with wanton abandon. Hooray for sheep and hooray for lamb. Don’t forget the ever so friendly and non-influenza carrying turkeys and boars and deer. Above all, don’t forget that even pork itself is not dangerous and that if well cooked it can still form part of a scrumptious carnivorous diet (especially when marinated in honey, pineapple juice, soy sauce and ginger).

Veronica Lario, wife of Italy’s Premier Silvio Berlusconi, has announced her intention to divorce from her husband. Her business I guess. She seems to have had enough of the antics of her donnaiolo husband – last of which involved putting veline on the electoral lists for the European Parliament in order to garner those extra votes. Berlusconi’s timid reply to Veronica’s anger to the Lista della Coscia does not seem to have sufficed and the wife of the Italian Media Magnate has decided to call it a day. Ironically, the wife of the leader of one of the major partners of the Nationalist Party in the European Popular Party can divorce. Divorce is actually no problem for most its partners in the PPE – actually you would be hard put to find member parties of the PPE who do have a problem with it.

“Kemm hi tajba ta’ Pooh”. J’accuse and Bertu of Bertoons Fame discuss next Sunday’s toon over the internet. The conversation has been edited. Get your Malta Independent on Sunday to discover what Bertu decides to draw in the end. Warning: the conversation foes not necessarily reflect the end product.

me:  int hemm?
 Bertu:  iva
mort nistrieh siegha u ergajt gejt
 me:  ghandi erba ideat
kolllha jinvolvu hniezer
 Bertu: :)
 me:  wahda bil-hniezer itiru stile Magritte
 Bertu:  three little pigs
 me:  Forget If Pigs can fly… time to worry about the Pig’s (that) “Flu”
 Bertu:  lol