“Otium cum dignitate”, that is how Cicero advised the honest person to live. The word “otium” is not really translatable and is often wrongly interpreted as the “dolcefarniente” of Mediterranean fame. Rather than a life of idleness, Cicero (I am constantly fascinated by the fact that this great man’s name is Latin for “Chick Pea”) was advising an ensemble of non-political and non-remunerable activities that allow for the “humanistic” development of an individual.
In other words, Cicero advised that a vir bonus (good man) should dedicate himself to study, writing, intimate and erudite conversation, meditation, finding time for family and friends, and of course some time in the countryside. Together with “otium”, Cicero also recommended a strong dose of “dignitas” which was very important to people of his time. Everything was to be done with a sense of measure and moderation. It’s a lovely philosophy of living to try to pursue especially when put in the context of today’s hustle and bustle.
My quest for “otium cum dignitate” has been strongly sabotaged by a hopelessly bad karma with all things mechanical and techonological this week. I should have noticed it was coming way back at the beginning of the month when all the means of payment on which my materialistic existence depends started to go berserk. Demagnetised magnetic strips, disfunctioning chips and forgotten payments all led to the horrible nightmare of relying on cash for long periods of time. Do you know what it is like to have all your cards disactivated?
I had forgotten what it meant to have to go to a bank branch and withdraw money for any possible eventuality like filling up the gas tank since being caught without cash once the bank closed meant you would be moneyless till the next opening hour. It was the complaint of a spoilt and pampered 21st century brat. Suddenly online subscriptions no longer accepted my orders: the worst offender being iTunes and the accompanying store.
Incommunicado
It was almost ok. I thought I would survive until the first card would arrive by mail but then came the moment every netophile dreads. Somewhere, somehow the Gods of Binary Calculus and the Devils of Ethernet communication got together and organised one hell of a trap for your dear columnist. One minute my home network was performing its faithful duty creating a bridge between my livingroom and the world of information in hyperspace, the next minute all systems were down, lights were a-flashing on the modem, internet was a-blocking away from the pc and Jacques was a-swearing a chain of incomprehensible jûrons.
I am subscribed to a mastodontic company that has inherited the former cable tv monopoly (Coditel S.A.) and formed a snazzily advertised service called Numericable S.A. The main company is in Belgium and the Luxembourg philiale is a little office in a busy street that has simply branched off from the Belgian network and supposedly provides an equally efficient service. It does offer a mindblowing package of unlimited high speed internet, unlimited free international phone calls and a mediocre jamboree of cable tv channels.
Needless to say I had switched to this service mainly for the part of the package involving the free phone calls back home. I had had no reason to complain for any part of the package until now. As I said, this company has inherited its customer service from a former monopoly… that means that all the perks of a company with no-competitors still exist. The bottom line is that the phrase “customer satisfaction” is absent from its dictionary. It is not just that: you have to face the fact that the company’s phoneline technicians have the absolute right to treat you like an imbecile (only during office hours).
The first solution proferred for my internet dilemma was to swtich off the modem and leave it off for an hour. Now this remedy seemed to me just one step below the infallible CTRL-ALT-DEL system of restarting the computer (“Have you tried switching it off and on again” – the catchphrase from “The I.T. Crowd” comedy series in the UK… watch it). Why in hell should a modem work better simply because it was switched off and on again is beyond me. Maybe the little elves converting electrical pulses to binary figures need a rest?
The more plausible reason I thought of was that it was 17.00 hrs on a Friday and within one hour the whole I.T. help service would go incommunicado until Tuesday (Monday was a Bank Holiday). The sly technician was simply getting rid of me since when I would switch on the modem at 1800 hrs there would be no one to complain to. I duly pointed this anomaly out to the technician who simply said that it is “procedure”.
It’s the internet, stupid
I will not bore you with the minutae of my telephonic correspondence with Numericable over the last two weeks. It should suffice to point out that there nerve at proposing ludicrous reasons to blame you or your pc rather than their system knows no bounds. I have three computers, an iPhone and a PS3 all receiving internet from the same network at any given point in time. All five apparata could no longer have access to internet since the fault. They can find a wi-fi signal but no internet. Numericable believes that since they can “ping” my modem there is nothing they can do on their part. I strongly believe that I will not rest until I have the facility of pinging with a large hammer on the head every employee who has spoken to me over the phone or counter.
I took my laptop and my modem to their offices. They actually had the nerve to blame my computer and settings after the whole setup of laptop and modem worked at their offices! The word logic has no place in their thinking. I can only bang my head against the wall in frustration and pray that some twisted illogical reason finally gets them to send the damn technician to my house where he is sorely needed. April with no internet has been no joke. My iPhone is dying for an update which I can only do on my iTunes on my computer. I have withdrawal symptoms from online shopping and other side effects of the technological poltergeist require further purchases online. I’m sorry, but as you can see J’accuse without an internet connection is a complete wreck. No otium, no dignitas. And two fingers pointed in the direction of the Route d’Arlon where Numericable’s offices of doom are sited.
Transcending
it’s ironic that much of my quibble with the employees with Numericable was the result of the infamous “procedure”. Basically you are made to go through some basic steps intended to filter out the technologically challenged who would be wasting much of the technicians time with “problems” such as wrongly stuck cables or not having powered the modem in the first place. My struggle was a long and hard one using technical terms in my third language (French). In moments like these you are made to feel powerless… the insignificant human being who is forced to follow the rules stipulated by others.
I witnessed other fellow human beings on the receiving end of the Numericable treatment. Another man in the same predicament as mine with a non-functioning modem. A couple who had had their service cut off without warning formed a very sad picture. Incredibly the Numericable service of cutting off your service is ultra-efficient – they actually cut off the service BEFORE the warning letter was in the post. They will not reactivate with the same speed of course – especially not before you pay the reactivation fee and the fees for the reminder letter which has not yet left their offices.
This lack of control over your destiny and that of your consumables is frustrating when you are bang in the middle of it and only becomes a funny anecdote once all your appliances are working. In Malta you could always rely on a friend in the company or at worst on a common language by both customer and company. It does not help when an angry Gozitan is arguing with an obtuse Portuguese deskmanager in the language of Napoleon. Belive me there is no dignitas there and you can only succeed in scaring a whole waiting room when an obscene Maltese word slips into the conversation.
Normal Citizens
Normal citizens in normal democracies tend to vote every now and then in order to elect their representatives. Take India or Malaysia for example… millions of people vote in these democratic behemoths – each and every one of them exercising a basic right. In our case we are not obliged to vote but we do tend to go out in hordes. Labour and PN have long played around with voting rights and mechanisms as part of the great chess game of governmental alternation. From gerrymandering of electoral borders to lawsuits challenging an individual’s right to vote the two parties who have long erected a numerus clausus around parliament have deemed it right to move the goalposts of the game as best fits them.
It’s not a conscious conspiracy. I do not imagine PBO and JM meeting in some dark room conspiring the maintenance of the status quo over coffee and biscuits. The dualistic thinking engendered into the minds of the population is constantly reaffirmed and reinforced by PLPN. They like thinking in that way because there is less of a challenge to their permanence in the universe of alternation. This is also why we, as citizens, accept impractical solutions for voting. A case in point is this new Bill allowing citizens who will be absent from the island on election day to vote earlier.
Great. Once again no mention of voting in embassies for Maltese working abroad has been made. The criterion of 6 months in 18 prior to the election is still waved around voters’ heads like some Damocles’ sword. Ever since the informal Entente Cordiale when PLPN agreed not to challenge any of the rights of workers in Brussels and Luxembourg, Maltese residing abroad have been in a sort of legal limbo. Technically we might still have to test the waters of the 6 months residence clause. Technically though… in the meantime PLPN are busy arranging for a special Air Malta flight to ship voters en masse to the island (presumably while sending a list of people on board to their respective HQs pace Alfred Sant).
Rather than take the reasonable step of setting up ballot boxes in Luxembourg and Brussels the Big Two prefer to spend your money organising a charter. Incidentally voters still pay for this flight though at a reduced price. Already some voices are protesting. Can we guarantee that those who avail themselves of the flight will vote? Let me answer them. No you cannot. No you will not. So long as PLPN choose to opt for this farce of a flight rather than the more practical ballot box then citizens living in Luxembourg or Brussels will make use of it for a quick visit back home. Whether they will actually vote while visiting is nobody’s business except their own. Harsh as it may be, we must also accept that the foundations of this cruel truth lie in the twisted reasoning of those who pass bills for sporting contingents but fail to see the practicality of two ballot boxes in Luxembourg and Brussels.
Limelight
The simple citizen does not crave the limelight too often. In this day and age it is becoming even more difficult to lead a life of “otium et dignitas”. Some people take the path of representation seriously and sometimes some idiots go out of their way to show their disagreement with a particular policy they backed. I would like to express my solidarity with Ian Castaldi Paris, the Lija Mayor who I may have criticised many a time on my blog but who deserves all the solidarity and support he can get after the vile cowardly attack on his residence and property.
A ranger shot in the head, a Mayor’s residence subject to an arson attack. Both acts by cowardly individuals who want to make a point from the dark. Too cowardly to show their face and reason out their objections in the open. One would hope that we can find both the dignity and application to give a clear message to this kind of cowardly, insipid individual. Actions speak louder than words. Meanwhile I wish both the ranger and Ian more fruitful work as they dedicate time in whatever they believe in.
Jacques is incommunicado and unable to update http://www.jacquesrenezammit for now. The struggle for internet access goes on… Hasta la DNS Server!
This article and accompanying Bertoon appeared in the Malta Independent on Sunday on 19.04.09.
