j'accuse

This article and accompanying Bertoon appear in today’s edition of The Malta Independent on Sunday (25.10.2009).

It may have dragged on for much longer than it was worth, but this whole apology spin has not yet been milked dry by the masters of marketing and campaigners of progress alike. That should therefore mean that, as an opinion columnist (and I choose my words very carefully here), I am fully entitled to dedicate a whole column to the very issue that is fast turning into yet another scene in the big road show that is our local political arena.

The bespectacled poet of dubious dress taste once wrote (and performed) a whole song declaiming the various difficulties that we encounter whenever we are pressed to announce our contrition for acts we have committed (or for acts to which we feel in some way connected). Elton John, for that is the poet of whom I speak, concluded that the five-letter word rhyming with lorry seems to be the hardest word. It’s sad. So sad. A sad, sad situation too, but when it comes to saying this word, we stumble on all sorts of problems and even the most talkative of persons might become a convinced stammerer before the merest hint of the initial consonant departs from betwixt his tightly held incisors.

The apology buzz is still reverberating around the world of news and “opinion columnistry” and shows no signs of abating. Such reverberation is for all the wrong reasons as the two tribes have dug their trenches and are now busy expecting apologies from the other side only to nix them as soon as they arrive. It’s not just the very idea of nats and labs having this “Sorry War” that is nauseating but also the very idea of its catching on elsewhere. Cue the MUT and its “expect an apology” from the Education Ministry for not having been allowed into a playground. Expect Malta to crash to a standstill soon as drivers, shoppers and pedestrians everywhere will find any infinitesimal excuse to expect an apology of their own.

Elsewhere in the real world, it’s the annual appointment with the day of reckoning in the blogging world as the yearly “State of the Blogosphere” report is out. There’s some interesting conclusions and to put it in the words of Technorati’s CEO – “the State of the Blogosphere is strong.”

…and we’re not sorry!

another post in the “Generation Y?” series

It’s out today and it’s supposed to be simplified. It’s probably a good lesson in admitting past mistakes though it falls short of being an apology for the aforementioned past mistakes. Anyone who has had to deal with the pyrotechnic logistical impossibility that is Windows Vista will know what I mean by “past mistakes”. Vista is a nightmare. Yesterday night as I tried to tune in to (perfectly legal) streaming of the Juventus – Maccabi Haifa match, my mini-laptop decide to perform a series of unabortable, unblockable updates to the windows system.

My attempts at informing the system of my desire to posptone said updates until the termination of the afoementioned match proved to be futile and I was lucky to get Chiellini’s equally fortuitous goal before being completely cut off from the rest of the sketchy transmission. Yes, Vista sucks and as Microsoft crawls a step-further towards Apple-inspired Valhalla it is legitimate for all of us to hope for the best.

The marketing campaign promises to be an interesting affair and slogans such as “Simplified” or “1 billion = 7” prove undoubtedly that Microsoft are on the right end of the learning curve. They’ve got the packaging right… but as we all know the proof of the pudding lies in the tasting.

Apology vs Apologia (defining moments in language and history)

1 a : a formal justification : defense b : excuse 2a
2 : an admission of error or discourtesy accompanied by an expression of regret <a public apology>
3 : a poor substitute : makeshift

Source: Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

If the implication of an admission of error accompanied by an expression of regret is less distinguishable than the defence of one’s opinions then it must necessarily be an apologia and not an apology. Not so synonymous after all.

Viz in re:

Galileo Galilei: Eppur si muove! (The Universe)

William Jefferson Clinton: I have never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky. I’ve never had an affair with her. (Lewinsky)

Richard Nixon: I regret deeply any injuries that may have been done in the course of the events that led to this decision. I would say only that if some of my judgments were wrong, and some were wrong, they were made in what I believed at the time to be the best interest of the Nation. (Watergate)

Pope Benedict XVI: “Here I would like to pause to acknowledge the shame which we have all felt as a result of the sexual abuse of minors by some clergy and religious in this country.Indeed, I am deeply sorry for the pain and suffering the victims have endured and I assure them that as their pastor I too share in their suffering. These misdeeds, which constitute so grave a betrayal of trust, deserve unequivocal condemnation.They have caused great pain and have damaged the Church’s witness. (Australia)

Guidelines to Public Figures (Mark Sitrick – $400/hour apology consultant)

A) Try not to make a mistake.
B) If you make a mistake, be brutally honest about it.
C) Never get into any sort of cover-up mode because that will cause you more trouble than the incident itself.

“You have a sense of what the public accepts and does not accept. It’s common sense. Murder, no. Genocide, no. Having sex with a hooker? Yes, if you apologize.” – Mark Sitrick (a.k.a Wizard of Spin)

This article and accompanying Bertoon appear in today’s edition of The Malta Independent on Sunday.

Arse-Null

Right. First of all I have to get a question off my chest before I explode. Is Arsenal FC worth imperilling a shaky government and a political career to boot? I mean Arsene Wenger does manage to turn a youngster (stolen from other clubs’ academies) into a decent footballer. The French savant with the sportsmanship of Vlad the Impaler has assembled a team or two that can play champagne football against Barnsley or Chernomorets Varna before they pass out like a group of underage wannabies when the time arrives for them to rise to the occasion. But the question remains: Does this damp excuse for entertainment football in North London really justify the breaking of an ethical code and spreading of red tomatoes on the face of the government?

That was a rhetorical question. For there is only one team that could possibly merit such slavish devotion and high-level risks, and all it has had in common with Arsenal are Liam Brady and Patrick Vieira (and a cameo appearance by the guy from the Gilette ad). Yet, it would seem that Minister Tonio Fenech values the Arsenal so much that he opted to hop on a privately owned jet plane and buzz off with some friends to the Emirates Stadium. Said friends, as we all know, happen to be the Maltese equivalent of the “jet set” (apologies for the pun) and are not exactly the kind of people who you would say have no interest in the outcomes of various economically related issues in our tiny political scenario.

Minister Fenech did say a few things in his defence, first and foremost among which was the mother of all defences: “Lawrence said that I could”. Which could be an interesting defence in certain circles devoted to a fast track sanctification of our Prime Minister but which counts as much as the number of champions league trophies in the Arsenal trophy cabinet (you guessed it… none) among those of a more neutral persuasion. Have I got news for PN politicians. Lawrence’s acquiescence is neither here nor there in the final judgement on what constitutes ethical behaviour.

31 years young… happy birthday bro!