The challenge has been launched. The gloves are up and the million dollar question has been put on the table (and is now a guest at the myriad “talk shows” on our TV’s and radios). Joseph “Inħobbkom” Muscat has put an end to his party’s reticent “cards-to-the-chest” policy and finally announced the 51 proposals that are described as “positive and concrete”. It’s all down to a game of numbers – Gonzi asks 10 questions – he gets 51 answers. Beat that Gonz.
Woe betide he who decides to actually read through the 51 “proposals” and tries to make out how this can be the blueprint for an accountable plan for managing Malta’s future. This is a list that lies long and thin.
Lies – because the sum total is proof that it is marketing above substance, a clumsy attempt by “think tank” apparatchiks to sound sophisticated and clue-full.
Long – because in the mistaken belief that the long numbered list will be enough to con even the intelligent observer, it is evident that whoever sat around the table to pow-wow this thing went through great lengths to add as many “proposals” as possible.
Thin – because the depth of thinking required to come up with this kind of pie-in-the sky ideas belongs somewhere down the evolutionary scale between the amoeba and the sponge.
If you find me insulting then you have not read the proposals yet. Why 51? Easy because 50 would be too obvious… they probably think that 51 sounds like a number casually reached. A while back I got think-tank man Aaron Farrugia in a twist because I criticised the tautological vision of Joseph Muscat about university’s role in society (something about how a university should be a centre of learning). I spoofed it with “Sajjieda ghandhom jaqbdu hut frisk u bdiewa ihawwlu frott tajjeb“. Aaron “unfriended” me for my efforts. No big loss. Then came “Proposal 45” – “Importanza mistħoqqa lill-biedja u sajd“.
Declaring your belief in Airmalta (35) is not a proposal. respecting Maltese and Gozitan “investors” (30) is not a proposal. Youth before bureaucracy (26) is a bumper sticker gone wrong but not a proposal. Promising not to give out government contracts that do not respect worker’s rights (16) is not a proposal – (a) it should be implied in any government, and (b) there are laws and directives that prevent this happening anyway. “Gvern li jkun safe ghal businesses u negozji” (5) is not a proposal, it’s sounds like an advert for companies to store their cash in some government vault. Citizens getting a good and timely service from the courts is not a proposal if you don’t say HOW and WHY you will bring this about (47). Idem Better security in entertainment areas (49).
It doesn’t end does it? These are not proposals for a government in waiting. They’re proposals from another planet. Planet 51.
And if for one minute you thought that the 51 proposals make sense and are a credible plan for electing Labour. Then you deserve a Labour government.
That’s the beauty of democracy – you get the government that YOU deserve.
Planet 51 (Trailer) from Roberto HG on Vimeo.
