According to the very first Highway Code for motorists a vehicle had to be preceded by a man running before it waving flags in order to warn anybody of the oncoming machine. Oh how times have changed. Nowadays what we in Malta call “indicators” are considered to be an optional accessory that would take all the fun out of a surprise switch the of the lane, “road rage” is an accepted state of affairs and the existence or otherwise of traffic is a question of perception. I watched an intriguing documentary on arte this weekend about how the Ancient Egyptians built their chariots. The precision technology to obtain a perfect chassis and suspension is mind-boggling considering that these people lived further away from Jesus than we do today. Still, we have our own precision engineering don’t we? So precise that the best of the best dedicate most of their time foiling energy emission tests ad maiori aurigi comoditatem (for the drivers’ better convenience).
I digress. A “tragedy unfolded” during a charity event in Malta this weekend. A vehicle termed by those in the know as a “supercar” had one of those episodes where “the driver lost control of the vehicle” and it suddenly and unexpectedly “careened” into the unsuspecting crowd of onlookers grievously injuring upward of a score of them in the process. What follows is not written out of any disrespect to the injured – for there would be no point in disrespecting anyone who got injured really would there – it is a reflection if you will on what went on and what has been going on in the island of saints and fireworks.
They say that two wrongs do not make a right. There are so many wrongs here that the question of whether there could be a right in it all is actually not even one that we begin to contemplate. Charity. It all begins there. They tell me that this event has been going on for 10 years. Which is neither here nor there. From the ice bucket challenge to Presidential Yacht scurries across the fliegu we must have realised by now that our tendency to disguise a good day out in an excuse for charity is of world beating standards. Giving for the sake of giving without having to go through the shenanigans and posturing is not really a thing in an island where auctions are held publicly for the humble experience of carrying a titular statue on the shoulder. That the current lot in government/ heading the state panders to this jamboree of not so charitable showmanship only serves to fan the flames.
Which brings me back to the need for speed. I try my best not to be condescending but this paqpaqli business is all about people obsessed with speed and machines that deliver it. Like any other form of energy and power this is one that requires “control“. Speed is harnessed into engines that express power in terms of horses – quite a large number of them in fact – and it seems that the thrill is all there… those few seconds when the human body is hurtled through the air in a metal (or modern material) box preferably while said box is making the sound of a giant farting his beans. Thrilling indeed. So thrilling that in order to make this event a “charitable ” one the organisers sell one-minute rides in a million euro machine to the gaping few who are there for a moment of happiness. They could have tried the russian mountains and rollercoasters in a fun fair but there would be no Porsche symbol emblazoned on the metal container of choice and in this society of appearances every little label counts… vorsprung dursh technik and all that.
The sad sad thing is that in a tiny country like Malta where estate is worth its price in gold (or corrupt politicians) there is nary a space to have a bona fide racetrack. We make do with a bit of an apron at Hal Far with empty plastic bollards standing in for safety barriers. Under the patronage of the Charitable President of the Republic the slaves of speed will wander around overpriced gas-guzzling machines taking selfies while in the background another of the machines tos and fros with its ecstatic passengers for the price of a luncheon for the poor. That this kind of entertainment clashes with the supposed charitable aims is just part of the problem. It also has no place on a tiny island. So sorry for the speed fanatics but if they really want to enjoy the thrill of a ride all they have to do is save up for a trip to Spa Francorchamps, Nurburgring or Monza and engage in a simple economic transaction – pay for a ride.
The logic of “we like it we want it” is ridiculous. It is as ridiculous as wanting to use up acres for a golf course, an indoor ski slope or any such fantasmagorical idea that is founded on the fantasy that Malta is the size of Texas. That’s not all. It took Malta’s full complement of ambulances a double trip to despatch all the injured to hospital or clinics and this with the added assistance of a chopper. All the goodwill in the world cannot underestimate the inability of the small island to deal with such circumstances in the most ideal of situations. Our authorities enable this kind of thinking though. The political fear of failure is such that Chris Fearne was addressing the journalists on the minutae of operations at Mater Dei – in other words the system was National Alert Mode for a motor vehicle accident. “Thankfully” the context of the event lent itself to a flood of commiserations and clichés that happen when Malta goes in its very own Daily Mail patriotic mode.
Prayers for the injured, a tearful President, a burst in blood donations… that’s all well and good. It’s almost part of the show that must go on and I don’t intend to apologise for this cynical approach. We have seen it all before when a Fireworks Factory explodes to smithereens – the outbursts of compassion, the prayers, the politicians on site. the one thing we do not do from this kind of episode is learn. We have an obstinate approach when faced with the pedagogy of life events. We ignore.
So expect the Labour politicians to up their pandering to the idea of a “motor racetrack” as though it is a solution to the crazy need for speed. Expect a new event with faster cars and greater attendance to raise funds for those who were injured raising funds. Expect more of the same… and expect much, much more mourning when it inevitably goes wrong again. The mourning after.
