Insofar as national tragedies go we had a couple of headline filling “incidents” over the last month that led to discussions on safety in different environments that are normally linked to entertainment. First there was the Paqpaqli incident where a supercar mowed into a crowd of bystanders causing injuries upward of three score and a mini-emergency crisis in our establishments of health and cure. A little later, and almost in parallel with the return of the ugly face of terrorism in Paris, we had an unhappy incident in an entertainment establishment in Paceville where a sudden stampede was once again the cause of much mayhem, much trauma and much panic. Finally we had a tiger on walkabout (in an estate dotted with planning illegalities) being provoked into attacking a little boy – said provocation consisting in said little boy running in the general direction of the tiger who did not appreciate this sudden rush of adrenalin. Still. Damage there was, pain even, and this was caused by a tiger in what is for all intents and purposes an establishment tainted with various illegalities.
This being the age of social media and the hashtag it is rather a surprise that the hashtags #jesuisPaqpaqli, #jesuisPaceville and #jesuislenfantdeMontekristo were not trending in yet another demonstration of pointless Pharisaical empathy that will be forgotten come the next hashtag – be it #goDestinyforEurovision, #lowunemployment or #CHOGMrocks. What should be trending in fact is a hashtag made out of those words used by the lawyer who lends his signature to Mr. Polidano for affairs legal when he said that most times these are “accidents waiting to happen”.
In fact, given the general institutional and public reaction to the sum of these tragedies we can safely say that the hashtag #weareallanaccidentwaitingtohappen should become part of the Maltese heritage. It fits nicely not just in the case of Paqpaqli, Paceville and Montekristo but also whenever your average fireworks factory explosion occurs, whenever there is the latest cowboy accident on the place of work, whenever political requirements bow to the avarice and greed of the building industry … should I continue?
Paqpaqli was one mess short of a babylon of cock-ups. It proved incontrovertibly that our nation is nowhere near being equipped for that kind of messy patchwork excuse for running powerful engines over short distances. Did we learn anything? Hell no. Prime Minister Muscat has announced that part of his panem et circenses programme in the coming year is the holding of the World Drag Racing Championships in Malta. Why? Our idea of what is and what is not suitable for an island slightly smaller than Manhattan is twisted beyond belief. I would expect us to hold the World Igloo Building Championships in Malta next August. It would be as stupid a decision as holding a World Cup in Qatar in summer. Only an administration as corrupt to the neck as Blatter’s FIFA could come up with that. Wait a minute…
Paceville. Poor old Paceville. Always the den of iniquity that has become synonymous with Malta’s Hell. Over the years it has been obvious that those who ever try to come up with some form of “regulation” for the place are really people who have a plan of transforming a brothel into some kind of centre for social rehabilitation. If we fail to accept that Malta has its own version of Las Vegas strip of entertainment and that it is of itself a possible touristic attraction then we will fail into obtaining some sort of sense of order. The distinction between imposing martial law and understanding that the entertainment must and can go on but for the instilling of a sense of responsibility when it comes to dishing it out.
The starting point of proposals about Paceville must be how to improve the value of entertainment there, not how to kill it completely. I have always advocated as a starting point that the transformation of the old enemalta building into a centre for civil coordination would be a brilliant way to kick off the games. Think a permanent V18 for Paceville – P2K as in Paceville for the third millennium. Policing and health needs would be centred around the entertainment zone that would be detached from the St Julian’s and Swieqi dependency it has suffered until now. Public-private charters and standards could be established – from common safety regulations, to common security training and common evacuation strategies in collaboration with civic defence. Campaigns on drink driving could be co-ordinated with the different modes of transport that get to the city. Those obnoxious white taxi drivers could be relegated into oblivion. Cleaning times, projects and promotions could be coordinated by all the stakeholders. Above all this should be done in a liberal manner and not with the approach of complete and utter sanitisation. There is no point in transforming Paceville into what it is not. Will the politicians move on this? Highly unlikely. Not when the powerful stakeholders in the area have them by their short and curlies.
Montekristo. Which brings me to Montekristo. The place should be shut. The animals should be exported to the closest zoos. Malta is no place for tigers and lions. No cage should be but their time in captivity might require gradual reintegration. Animal rights apart (Where was Marlene Bonnici by the way? Or are animal rights only useful to justify the Euro Parliament presence?) the whole Montekristo story is a clear example of how the authorities will continue to pay lip service to cowboys such as Polidano. Not only will they bark a few words about the animals (Muscat tried the Ali G trick with vegetarians – “you either eat a chicken or I will kill another one” became “we would have to kill the animals if we closed the place”) but they will continue to patronise the place for their political activities. We are all an accident waiting to happen but who gives a flying feck?
There you go. That is what your politicians would do on average when it comes to accidents. They will tell you they are sorry to have seen it happen, they will tweet their condolences and support, but in the long run, we were, we are and we will remain an accident that is waiting to happen.
