So the Times must have gotten their feathers ruffled by the news that their spanking new premium scheme is rather “hackable”. That’s only if you call refreshing a page before the irritable subscription request pops up “a hack”. The thing is that beyond what are surely teething problems for the Times (and more particularly for whoever came up with the javascript paywall (see that biwwa? I said paywall) lies a future of secured “income”. Once the flaws are solved then the paywall will definitely be in place for the news website (not portal – idem biwwa?) and readers will have to decide whether paying the €3.99 a week is worth every penny.
That, I believe, is the real question. For all you need to do – as J’accuse reader John Lane has already done – is compare the cost of subscribing to the Times of Malta online (and that is only online – not including print) to that of other papers/journals. I have taken a cursory look and looked around some major titles. The most striking fact is that the UK Times – loaded as it is with goodies and extras – turns out to be cheaper than the Maltese Times. Here is a table of sorts for the sake of comparison:
27€
Le Figaro
€27 per month (includes delivery of printed version and free watch)
24€
Le Monde
Formule Integrale – 24,90€ per month
19.33€
International Herald Tribune & New York Times
Unlimited access to the IHT smartphone apps, IHT app for iPad and NYTimes.com. €19.33 per month (25$)
19€
The Economist (digital + print)
€19 per month
15.96€
Times of Malta
Digital ONLY. 3.99€ /week once the introductory €2.99 expires
14.15€
The Times (UK) Classic Pack (top range) – €14.15 (£12) per month
It’s not just that though is it? For only 3€ more you could have access to the Economist online and receive it at home. Or you could opt for the New York Times/Herald Tribune alternative. The UK Times still remains the strongest contender for value for money – and don’t forget you could get all the local news for free from the Independent, MaltaToday and the various news websites that spring up such as iNewsMalta.
So yes Times people, once you stop grinding your teeth at these offensive bloggers who found a flaw in your paywall system you might have to contend with an even bigger flaw in your business model. If my O’level economics helps me in any way this has something to do with “opportunity cost” – basically your potential readers might take this opportunity to waive the cost for your subscription and go for something – how shall I say it? More worth the euros and cents?
In case you are wondering that stands for “Thank God It’s The Times Comments Board”. In the good old days of early blogging when online newspapers merely reproduced their daily content without a hint of interactivity it was a J’accuse pastime to pick on the weak and deserving – famous among which was the Dame of the Grammatically Incorrect a.k.a. Lorna Vassallo.
Our TGIL section (Thank God It’s Lorna for the uninitiated) flourished in accordance with the Dame’s latest outbursts. Nowadays, thanks to the democratisation of the comment boards – what with online papers vying for the biggest goof allowed to splatter his thoughts to all and sundry under a fitting pseudonym, the sport is a bit like shooting on the Red Cross.
Be that as it may, it does not mean that some sport may not be had with the more prolific of commentators (who incidentally persist in arrogating the moniker of “Bloggers” to their thick selves). Where better to begin than the arduous Frans A. Said from the Times? Here he is commenting on the court hearing of the hit-and-run case in Qawra. We accord him the Lorna Treatment (i.e. my bracketed comments in red).
Mr FRANS H SAID
Today, 15:37
I am a frequent visitor to the said area (said area being Qawra – Frans does stick to the Rumpole of the Old Bailey style of writing in order to feel more self-satisfied and pompous when he presses send). Excessive speed is the order of the day (Għamillu Excessive Speed bil-bajd u bacon), any time of the day (Qawra – the city that never slows down). Black exhaust is part of the idyllic scene (decide man – is it idyllic or is it full of black exhaust? Would Manet or Monet have painted Black Exhaust into their landscapes to give it that “idyllic touch”? Et In Qawra Ego). Excessive radio and silencers, but our police are deaf. (This one is worthy of a Lorna Vassallo Prize – the cumulative effort of trying to complain about too many things at once has the effect of nullifying Frans’ argument. Picture (a) Excessive Radio: What is that exactly? Like too many stereos strewn on the kerb? Is he asking for the deliberalisation of the radio waves? (B) Excessive Silencers: Again. Thinking before typing might help Frans. Is this a car that has 20 silencers? If it does, doesn’t it make it very silent? I know he probably means pimped silencers that make more noise but hey who am I to get into Frans Said’s head?And finally (c) the police are deaf: Sorry? Somebody has swallowed an excessive dose of stupid pills today. Let us begin by saying that if the force has decided to become an equal opportunities employer then so be it. But here the complaint seems to be linked – the fact that all the non-sensical phrases combine to one sentence make is a pointer. So checklist time: (a) excessive radio (Bad) (b) excessive silencers (still mysteriously bad) = Conclusion : BUT THE POLICE ARE DEAF. As an illiterate Maltese once asked his English private lessons teacher: because?)
Parking on handicapped slots (OK So Frans is angry but bear with me. What exactly is a handicapped slot? Is it a wrongly painted parking space – a trapezoid parallelogram perhaps?) , but the wardens only appear like rats and disappear again. (And if handicapped slots were not enough, here comes the Gunter Grass of Maltese bloggers (sic). The warden is a rat. Discuss. Does the problem consist of the fact that the warden is a rat (the bastard) or that he disappears (may I point out that the disappearance is repetitive – hence the need to append the word “again” to the end of an already useless sentence).
It is in places like these that speed cameras are required not on the Burmarrad Road (what if they do both frans?). But the Local Council can earn more from Burmarrad than in high tourist areas (the King of Non-Sequiturs. Again we are having problems visualising some of the concepts. What is a High Tourist Area? Is it like a High Elf in Tolkien’s world? Do they walk on stilts? Or is the area itself on some form of plateau?)
But who cares (Delirium sets in just as he was getting hot. He’s tired now and has lost the “question mark” key on his keyboard). The parents do not, as otherwisde they would have hidden the car keys (I’m dying here. The caring parent hides the car keys. Should I really comment?) Who bought such an expensive car/ (Who indeed? The rant against handicapped slots, deaf policemen, excessive radios, excessive silencers, misplaced speed cameras and high tourist areas ends in a very investigative non-sequitur: who bought such an expensive car. Frans’ levels of exhaustion have reached their climax. The question (that gets a slash instead of a point of interrogation) is probably prefaced and followed by a million thoughts that did not find their erratic way from overheated brain to question-mark deficient keyboard. Sadly we’ll never know where the final rhetoric came from).
Finally, do not worry, eventually he will get a suspended sentence, his driving licence (which in any case he does not possess) will be suspended for a few months, and Bob’s your uncle. (What? Me? Worry? No driving licence to suspend and yet Frans thinks it will be suspended. He had to add the “Bob’s your uncle” at the end of the letter. The phrase is currently vying with that other all time favourite “tell it to the marines” as the most uselessly overused phrase among Maltese commentators.)
This has been J’accuse deciphering Frans Said so you don’t have to.
Q. What do you tell a deaf policeman in Qawra who is helping a rat warden issue a ticket to the man who has just spread more radios and silencers across the road?
It’s interesting how on the day I put in context DCG’s mid-week comments on “fish-pondism”, the Times gives us a particular example of their attempts at creating their own fish-pond news. I don’t know why they bothered with an article entitled “Dalli speaks of Brussels term as four year sentence”: I mean the title would have been enough don’t you think? In fact all that we can glean from the rest of the article is that this was no official statement or occasion. For all we know – on the face of the evidence provided by the Times’ man in Brussels – it could have been a familiar chat with some journalists that was off the record. But why the rush from the Times to highlight the “four year sentence statement”? Was Dalli joking or referring to all the ruckus that was raised about his being sidelined in the first place? Will we ever know?
Here’s what the Times had to say:
Former Minister John Dalli has described his current stint at European Commissioner as a ‘four year sentence’ which will soon end.’ He made his comments to a number of Maltese journalists in Brussels.
You’d expect a little bit more information than that no? Context for example? Is the journalist in question reporting a comment made off the record by an EU commissioner to journalists – again if the context is the implication that Dalli was sent off to Brussels to get out of some people’s way you would not blame him for joking nervously about it. The Times report seems to be intent to making it seem a serious enough comment though. It’s inviting the stupid same kind of stupid thinking as hte PQ by the labour backbencher who asked about salaries and the President. The type that considers Dalli an ungrateful sod for having accepted the salary of a Commissioner AND having the gall to come back to Malta for more.
More what exactly? The lucrative business of politics? What’s the big attraction anyway? Lino Spiteri has a point to make on that in today’s Times opinion pages. There’s also an interesting story about Austin’s Sidekick on Maltatoday that provides valuable material in understanding how certain politicians (or in this case wannabe politicians) get their electoral campaigns bankrolled. I’ve had a look at the 2i Ltd website mentioned in the article and … sure enough… they also specialise in Bus Scheduling Software.
Unstomachable
Good old Delia the Sidekick … reliable in his consistency – same old, same old. What were you thinking with that slogan anyway? “We represent a huge experience and outstanding intellectual potential”? The only truth about that is the “huge” part… as for the rest… same old pompous bull. Now the Nationalist Party really has found the cherry on the cake.
As a parting note, a message for John Dalli: “Brussels term” is not a “four year sentence”, if anything it’s a “two word phrase”.
* The Indy too went along with the story (Christopher Sultana). Again I have a problem with the “has learnt” bit of the reporting. If the journalists were in the same office as John Dalli why add the phrase “has learnt” as though it is hearsay or as though the information was obtained from secondary sources?
European Commissioner John Dalli intends returning to the local political scene after his term in Brussels expires, The Malta Independent on Sunday has learnt. Speaking to a group of Maltese journalists at his office in Brussels earlier this week, Mr Dalli referred to his term as Commissioner responsible for Health and Consumer Policy as a “four-year sentence that will soon be up”.
So now we know Dalli uttered the words in a meeting with journalists in his office. Still “has learnt”? Was Christopher Sultana in that office? Are the Independent reporting a press release of some kind or a shared source that was originally from another paper?
Yesterday’s Times of Malta once again gave priority to a news item related to the Dreambox and satellite TV usage. According to the latest figures one third of Maltese TV viewers watch TV via satellite. The Times distinguishes between satellite and “internet based TV connections like Dreambox” but in actual fact a Dreambox based connection is still satellite dependent – the dreambox is a different form of decoder (that is as far as my limited level of technological knowledge can go) that uses internet to access certain channels. The article also highlighted a commendable campaign by nationalist MP David Agius for better access for football on television by consumers.
Although the article was a presentation of statistics, the title left little space for doubt since it combined the mention of satellite TV viewing with copyright issues. Here at J’accuse we have no doubt that the combined forces of Melita and Go – providers of cable tv – are busy stirring the waters in this regard by making sure that the Times carries such kind of headlines as instil doubt as to the legality of certain consumer choices. All’s fair in love and war they say and MelitaGO are entitled to use any legal means to win over their customers – and they will always find a ready ear among the very investigative journalists of the day. Unfortunately while they attempt to draw the attention to consumers and their purchases – and question the borderline legality of the use of dreambox (in actual fact it might be challenged only in certain circumstances – the dreambox is per se as illegal as a washing machine) – they engage in a bit of borderline legality themselves that is really begging for some answers.
True, consumers are given a choice between “packages” of Melita and Go at the beginning of a sports season. True, consumers can no longer consider access to all football games as a fundamental human right (although we are bloody close to achieving that status for the world cup matches). But what if the performance of the two service providers on the market is such that it does not allow for a normal, informed decision at the beginning of the footballing season? What if that performance includes the switching of packages between service providers within three year periods that drives the consumers crazy thanks to the inconvenience of having to keep up with the administrative side (costs and penalties as well as having to spend time dealing with the respective companies)?What if the virtual duopoly is substituting ransom and blackmail for customer loyalty.
What if… when all is accounted for… we are actually witnessing a virtual duopoly that obliges the consumer to buy ALL of its products if he is to satisfy his demand? It is up to the Competition Office to determine the answers to that question I guess.
Back to the Dreambox. It is not just useful for football actually. What happens, I ask, to a consumer who is willing to pay for a set of channels via satellite – let us say a UK based movie satellite channel – and that package is not legally available for purchase in Malta? What happens if that consumer can buy a decoder from the UK but not from Malta? I have my concerns about the application of EU law in this regard because what you have there is a service being denied to a legitimate customer in another member state. That is just the tip of the iceberg but surely consumers who avail themselves of alternative methods to gain access to programming when no legal method is available cannot suddenly become criminals overnight?
If you read this week’s article in the Independent you may have noticed that I am out and about in the Rhineland-Palatinate. We’ve moved down to the Neckar Valley now and are in the historic town of Heidelberg home of science and reason. The clement weather seems to be about to abandon us as we return to the usual summer fare of rain and heat. Seen from here the Maltese news seems to be dominated by DimechGate. For us this provides an interesting petri dish to examine the allegiances and editorial lines of different newspapers. In the running absence of J’accuse we can only advise readers to handle all information with double care. Todays press release by PN continues to murk the waters (or clear the air – depending on your perspective). Did Gonzi approve the removal of Dimech from PN or is his approval implied by administrative decision? Did Dimech really warn PBO by email of his impending police interrogation? Did he warn him when it woud end? Meanwhile the bloggers of muck born out of Plategate have raked up one more PN councillor in trouble. It seems he purchased a laptop for private use using government funds… police interrogations, swift PN ostracisation beckons.
I’m off to see the Schloss in the rain. Auf wiedersiehen.
Gode di Immunità Ecclesiastica
The sponsors of the anti-divorce billboard erected by the Zebbug Parish are performing all sorts of cartwheels in order to make it clear that they are actually fence-sitters of the prime order and are neither for or against divorce. I guess it is important to know that Mega Tech of Mdina Road, Zebbug, fine purveyors of electronic gaming, have absolutely no opinion whatsoever in favour or against divorce though I am sure you could buy a copy of The Sims (check out the Guide to Marriage in the Sims at the end of this post) from the establishment – complete with married couples and all.
I like the way Jason Grech of Mega Tech used the smoking metaphor for an analogy as to why sponsors should not be associated with the message. Rothmans used to sponsor the football league, he says, but it does not mean that smoking is good for footballers. Bank of Valletta are into their tenth year of sponsoring the MFA’s premier league and we are inching towards legislation that bans advertising of cigarettes completely. That’s the thing about advertising Jason, it’s full of those irritating messages you can’t control. You should stick to the PLPN way – you give them the off the books bung and the Curia/Parish will give you a highway to heaven.
Apparently the church billboard did not need a permit because it fell under socio-religious classification which means it can be erected for 21 days without a permit. I wonder if some company is willing to sponsor the J’accuse Billboard that we could erect in Zebbug square for 21 days – it would state “God has no vote/ Alla m’ghandux vot”. Anonymous bungs accepted.
Tut Tut Flies and Aedes Albopictus
Image via Wikipedia
No new sightings have been made of the dangerous Asian Tiger Mosquito in Malta. The albino-like varmint had shaken a few feathers with two sightings in September and November. It is a carrier of such niceties as dengue and yellow fevers. Thankfully the committee specially appointed by the government for the search and destroy mission did not make any further sightings. What Malta is still full of is the local “tut tut” fly. People complaining endlessly about the heat (justified), prices (not entirely justified) and anything they can complain about in mid conversation. Speaking of mid-conversation, J’accuse spotted fellow a fellow Luxembourg dweller bravely wearing these pink crocs at the Embassy in Valletta.
Driving Maniacs
There is absolutely no reason whatsoever why we should wonder at all the accidents happening this summer. How can you marvel when walking or driving involves exposing your self to manifest danger for life and limb. Students equipped with almost half a brain pop out at the most improbable of places to cross the road. Yesterday I risked a head on collision from behind in order to slow down for two absolute nincompoops who were crossing a dark road on Regional Road at Saint Andrew’s right at the blind corner after the lights at Jessie’s Bar (direction Qawra). If I was not risking a mad bus ramming my rented 107 I would have got out of the car and given them a good beating myself such was the anger they provoked with their nonchalant attitude towards safety.
Students living at the Coastline hotel are waiting for the lights to turn green before crossing. (Green for them not for the cars of course). Which does not mean that an accident will not happen there any time soon. It just takes one hair brained crosser or worse one of those arseholes who think that the coast road is Le Mans revisited and boom you have your “tilef il-kontroll tal-vettura” and “ghal xi raguni ma hix maghrufa” all over again. Bugger to all that. We should reintroduce impaling as a punishment for serious traffic offences.
Valletta & Paceville
The capital is getting nicer and nicer what with all the embellishments and road works. At least they are worth something ad maiorem popoli commoditatem unlike the cacophonic chaos that are the works in the streets of the suburb that never sleeps. Check out my funky snapshots of the city (on my facebook album). I enjoyed taking them with my little Nikon Coolpix. You’ve just gotta love the Public Convenience in Strait Street. I also managed to be in VLT at midday to witness the St George’s Square spitting to music thingy. Water bounced and jumped to Charles Camilleri.
I think I like what they’ve done to the square (whose surface looks like an Olly and Benjy football pitch) but it still will never justify the expenses that were dispensed for the launching concert. It’s benches, lampposts and a couple of water spitters. At least we can console ourselves that urban planners have finally discovered the pleasures of open spaces. Slowly, slowly.
A gay proposal in The Sims (yes, it also means happy)
“The Sims” is a fun simulation that gets some parts of life right. We all get cranky if we don’t have enough fun, food, and rest. But when it comes to marriage, the game is very different.
Steps to Getting Married
Friendship is a requirement for Sims to get married. They have to have a relationship score of 70. Then it is safe to turn on the heat, by lots of kissing and hugging. The proposal action becomes available once the relationship score is met. In order for a proposal to be accepted, the potential spouse needs to be in a good mood. They can easily refuse the proposal just because they aren’t hungry or need to empty their bladder. Once you are sure they are in a good mood, then propose. But even then, nothing is guaranteed.
The Wedding
When the proposal is accepted the Sims will immediately have a wedding. They change into wedding clothes and that’s it!
After the Wedding
The visiting sim will move into the home adding their assets to the bank account. The last name of the Sim moving in is changed. Children of the new spouse will move in as well, except if there is another adult at the original home.
Divorce? New Spouse?
Once married, that’s it! No divorce for Sims. They can, however, marry other Sims. Each Sim can have multiple spouses. A male Sim could have 7 other wives living with him, as long as he proposed to each in his own home.
